Website

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A typical website

A website is a location at which a spider spins a web. Websites are commonly used as material for bookcovers and artificial banana skins.

Their main purpose is as a repository for pornographic images, which otherwise would fill hard drives and restrict PCs to Windows 95 levels. Microsoft, in their constant struggle to improve the smooth running of computers and operating systems, took drastic steps as the Millenium Bug (see Godzilla vs the Millenium Bug) threatened to take over the world.

Another popular use for websites now is as writing material. Nubile Teens often enjoy acquiring pet spiders and creating their own website. Watching these creatures spin these websites into what is sometimes termed the "world wide web" can be a fun and enjoyable experience for the whole family, provided the parents are out for the evening.

A fine example of a website is http://www.makeliamfamous.tk, an uterly pointless website with problems with mathematics and with small words such as pronouns.

Creating a successful website[edit]

There are a set number of steps necessary in creating a successful website. Start by analysing the average from the content of the most successful websites, and then through subtle manipulation copy and paste, know to Webmasters as the "Copy and Paste Technique".

Standard subject matter should include:

It is important to try to add lots of large images, as well as javascript, enabling "snowfall" or "magic" mouse trails. Embedded MIDI files are a must.

Example website[edit]

Internet Explorer 8.png
Welcome to my site
I can do HTML n evereefin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im cool n' stuff coz I can do blank pages like this and stuff
Recent News

}}

On this day...
Kumquat kicking.png

September 10: Kumquat Kicking Festival (Pakistan), International Hypocrisy Day

  • Time Before Time - Death is born in a small town in Kansas, NASCAR becomes marginally interesting.
  • 541 BCE - Greek philosopher Hypocrites invents hypocrisy.
  • 540 BCE - Hypocrisy is condemned as immoral by Hypocrites.
  • 30 CE - Asked whether one should pay taxes, Jesus says, "Give unto Caesar what is Caesar's", but then cheats on his income tax.
  • 1092 - Tap dancing is invented.
  • 1093 - The ground opens up under the inventor of tap dancing who is then dragged down to Hell.
  • 1892 - Oscar Wilde arrives in America, claiming at customs "I have nothing to declare but my genius". Actually, he has some fruit and Cuban cigars.
  • 1897 - Lattimer Massacre: a sheriff's posse kills twenty unarmed immigrant miners in Pennsylvania. Up until the massacre, the mine wasn't very productive.
  • 1913 - The first fully-carpeted coast-to-coast ferret-run opens in the USA.
  • 1939 - Canada declares war on Nazi Germany; the German army takes the afternoon off.
  • 1960 - American baseball player Mickey Mantle kicks a kumquat an estimated 643 feet.
  • 2000 - Millions board planes with shoes, liquids, and food. Angered by this, George Bush goes into seclusion to come up with a way to stop this. It takes roughly one year and a few phone calls to his friends in the Middle East.
  • 2001 - Billions and billions of Americans go to bed early in order to be well-rested for the September 11 terrorist attacks the next day.
  • 2008 - The Large Hadron Collider is switched on and nothing happens. Swiss scientists decide to cut their losses and turn it into a badass thrill ride.
  • 2009 - The Office of the White House announces a low-altitude American Airlines 767 fly-over for 9/11 8th year memorial services at ground zero in New York City, on September 11. The flight is officially named AA Flight 175 in honor of the brave civilians who didn't know any better that morning. The plane is to be supplied with full complement of fuel as a safety precaution, and will fly over Shanksville, PA, and the Pentagon. Five 20 to 30-year-old Arabs will take part in flight as show of peace to the Middle Eastern nations. These proud five men will be given boxcutters and a fake bomb in order for the US Air Force to simulate realistic crisis scenarios. Flight 175 "Resurrected," as it has been dubbed by President Obama, will have a pig in the cockpit, for security reasons.
  • 2012 - The Large Hadron Collider Thrill Ride turns into a supermassive black hole and turns the Earth into something the size of a small pea.
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


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Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


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It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


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