Website

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A typical website

A website is a location at which a spider spins a web. Websites are commonly used as material for bookcovers and artificial banana skins.

Their main purpose is as a repository for pornographic images, which otherwise would fill hard drives and restrict PCs to Windows 95 levels. Microsoft, in their constant struggle to improve the smooth running of computers and operating systems, took drastic steps as the Millenium Bug (see Godzilla vs the Millenium Bug) threatened to take over the world.

Another popular use for websites now is as writing material. Nubile Teens often enjoy acquiring pet spiders and creating their own website. Watching these creatures spin these websites into what is sometimes termed the "world wide web" can be a fun and enjoyable experience for the whole family, provided the parents are out for the evening.

A fine example of a website is http://www.makeliamfamous.tk, an uterly pointless website with problems with mathematics and with small words such as pronouns.

Creating a successful website[edit]

There are a set number of steps necessary in creating a successful website. Start by analysing the average from the content of the most successful websites, and then through subtle manipulation copy and paste, know to Webmasters as the "Copy and Paste Technique".

Standard subject matter should include:

It is important to try to add lots of large images, as well as javascript, enabling "snowfall" or "magic" mouse trails. Embedded MIDI files are a must.

Example website[edit]

Internet Explorer 8.png
Welcome to my site
I can do HTML n evereefin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im cool n' stuff coz I can do blank pages like this and stuff
Recent News

}}

On this day...
I'll be right over... zzzz

March 20: Procrastination Day (extends until tomorrow)

  • c.170 million BCE - Sloths plot their invasion of Africa but are thwarted by continental drift before they can act.
  • 8065 BCE - Atlantis passes flood control legislation but never gets around to buying the equipment to implement it.
  • 814 - Charlemagne devises a plan for world peace but fails to write it down before he dies.
  • 1510 - Martin Luther writes his 95 Theses and intends to post them, but keeps forgetting to bring nails to hammer them to the church door when he attends Sunday services.
  • 1602 - The Dutch East India Company is founded, paving the way for the trade of such goods as sugar, spices, human slaves, and additional sugar.
  • 1815 - After escaping from his exile in Elba using cheese, cocked berets, and other French sterotypes, Napoleon Bonaparte begins his "Hundred Days" Rule.
  • 1833 - Honest Jim starts his career by selling his grandfather's false teeth back to him at nine times their original value.
  • 1852 - Hariet Beecher Stowe's Uncle Tom's Cabin is published, setting racial equality back for an estimated two hundred years.
  • 1864 - Dick Cheney gets bitten by a vampire. The vampire dies of poisoning.
  • 1883 - Eleven counties signed the Paris Convention for the Protection of Industrial Property, strictly outlawing the trade of ideas, dreams, and mind-control paraphernelia.
  • 1914 - The first International Figure Skating World Championships take place in Connecticut. The losers maintain their dignity.
  • 1984 - Dungeons & Dragons hits a new high note with the introduction of the Stock Broker playable character set, including Briefcase of Monotony and +2 Ballpoint Pen.
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

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Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


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It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

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