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Swe flag.png
Ikea sweden 2.jpg
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: Suck it, Denmark
Anthem: A Cold Wind is Blowing Through the Fjords
This map is a lame attempt at visual humor
Capital Stockholm
Previous capital Hell
Largest city Freeseweiner
Demonym Swedish, ja?
Official language(s) Swedish
Government Constitutional monarchy, Snow Parliament
‑ Knugen(King) Björn Ulvaeus
‑ Prime Minister Gudrun Scywoman
‑ Speaker of the
Anni-Frid Lyngstad
‑ Secretary of the
Agnetha Fältskog
National hero(es) ABBA
Established Mooo!
Currency Snow, bad taste
Religion What?
Population approx. 8
Area Slightly larger than Finland
Population density 2/km2
Time Zone UTC+0
Ethnic groups Reindeer, snowbound psychotics
Major exports Surströmming
Major imports Snow
National food Meatballs
Favorite Apple product iBalls
National animal Yeti
National sport(s) Hockey, talking about hockey
Hours of
9:00 to 9:15
Internet TLD .se
Calling code 12
Drives on the sidewalk

Sweden, officially the Kingdom of Sweden, is the home of Swedish females. They have two blond legs, are well educated in Denmark and eat surströmming. Not to mention, that they are also famous for playing in adult movies.


Main article: History of Sweden

After a devastating participation in the Battle of the Bulge, Sweden remained peaceful for some time. But when the Wars on Emotions broke out early in the 21st century, this country invented a new form of government called a Corporacracy, which means it is basically ruled by IKEA, McDonalds, and Volvo. They are slowly taking over the world and their Swiss chocolate really sucks. Their Swiss watches are also becoming disturbing popular, as are the Swede shoes after Elvis Presley sang about them.

"Sweden is to Mongolia as South Africa is to South Korea" - Winston Churchill


Sweden consists of two parts: The capital Stockholm and the country side. Stockholm is the home for the retarded, and the country side is the home for the ignorant.

All industry and agriculture in Sweden is located to places around the country. The economical, political and medial power is however located to Stockholm. This creates a perfect symbiosis. The outlines of this were sketched by Per Albin Hansson in the 1930's and have later been proven by the professor of sociology Nils Ängellby to be consistent with the best way of life, so long as it pays his salary.


A typical Swedish chef

The Swedish traditional dish is meat balls made from polar bears and a kind of raw, rotten fish (surströmming). The tradition is said to have started when shipments of sushi from Japan were spoiled on its way to Sweden, but the polite and simple minded Swedes forced themselves to eat it, and of courtesy have been doing it ever since.


As a politically neutral entity, Sweden is not expected to maintain its high standard of living, nor sovereignty, for much longer. The reason is the advent of George W. Bush's "You're either with us or against us" foreign policy. Fox News says that everything will be fine and Operation Swedish Liberation will progress right on schedule.


Sweden is ruled by the beautiful but helpless monarch Godrun Scywoman (originally Scyman; changed it after becoming feminist), sitting chained forever on her looking-glass throne. Belonging to the left wing, she requires to be freed by folks from the USA, who are reportedly underway after the recent reports of oil being found.

Practical power in Sweden is held by the evil Grand Vizier, Ingvar Kamprad, whose program of mental torture for the subjugation of the middle classes has been sold to America under the name IKEA.


Swedish citizens only talk Bork, a strange and unique language which has been theorised to relate to that of the Ainu people of northern Japan. Recently a minority has been found speaking the Swedish language, but it is yet to be confirmed.


Sweden if famous for its humour. Some favourite Swedish jokes include

Knöckke Knöckke

Who is it?


Come in, Sven.

How mäny Swedish people does it täke to chänge ä light bulb?

One. Why do you äsk?

Wäiter, there's ä fly in my soup

I'm sorry sir. I shäll bring you änother one

Knöckke Knöckke

Who is it?


Come in, Inge. Sven is ålreädy here


Annually a large group minor foreigners are imported from Taiwan to make all the material used to make incomplete IKEA furniture. A group of minors from Korea have been imported to create the missing pieces which will eventually be exported to USA. Art therapy classes held at rehabilitation workshops for the deranged, bewildered and perverse are used to generate random diagrams that are included with all IKEA products. Some of these can be used to assemble IKEA furniture, but these are usually the assembly diagrams that come with IKEA crispbreads and cheeses.

IKEA diagrams have given rise to a psychiatric condition now known as flatpack rage.


Sweden is the home of Billy Ocean, who led the Austrian trio Abba to consecutive Eurovision Song Contest victories in 1966-67 when it was known as the European Cup.

A strong tradition of folk music pervades rural Sweden, with disparate subcultures such as clam music and rock music found in isolated pockets of the island.

Chronicle of Sweden

Wi not trei a holiday in Sweeden this yer ?

See the loveli lakes...

The wonderful telephone system...

And mani interesting furry animals.

Including the majestic moose.

A moose once bit my sister...

No realli! She was Karving her initials on the moose with the sharpened end
of an interspace toothbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an
Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian movies: "The Hot Hands of an Oslo
Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Molars of Horst Nordfink"...

Mynd you, moose bites Kan be pretti nasti...

Creative Commons notice: The above is Copyright (c) The Monty Python team.


Because of socialism there isn't much of a private economy in Sweden, so for Christmas the state assigns you your presents. What you get depends on your age, gender, number of sick days taken, whether you're a member of the "Swedish National People's Democratic Front Party" etc. It's tradition for the presents to be given out by someone dressed as "Big Brother", who is said to "know what you want better than yourself". Note that recipients are not exempt from the gift tax.

There is also a tradition called midsommar where Swedish people dance around a giant penis. A famous song to dance to on midsommar is "Små Grodorna" (little frogs).

A dancin' we shall go.


Special thanks
Moose Trained by Yutte Hermsgervordenbrot
Special Moose Effects Olaf Prot
Moose Costumes Siggi Churchill
Moose choreographed by Horst Prot III
Miss Taylor's Mooses by Hengst Douglas-Home
Moose trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by Jurgan Wigg
Mooses noses wiped by Bjorn Irkestom-Slater
Large moose on the left hand side of the screen in the third scene from the end, given a through grounding in Latin, French, and O level geography by Bo Benn
Suggestive poses for the moose suggested by Vic Rotter
Antler-care by Liv Thatcher