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Today's featured article – The Witcher

The Witcher is a short story series/fantasy book saga/role-playing game/Netflix television show. It is set a time period of Medieval knights, monsters, fantastical beings and a lot of magic. If you can imagine a mix of Conan the Barbarian, Game of Thrones and the legends of King Arthur then you will be getting close to what this series is about. Think also of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and a dash of Harry Potter then you would have the formula.

The author of The Witcher is Andrzej Sapkowski (born 1948). He is a Polish-born writer who started his Witcher short stories in the 1980s. This was followed by books in the 1990s, which took almost as long to finish as George R. R. Martin's A Game of Thrones, not ending until 2013. It took even longer for them to be translated into English. Some wish the copyright holders hadn't bothered.

A witcher is essentially a male witch or warlock with the yellow eyes of a cat. He has some magic tricks but normally prefers to express himself with his sword(s). Witchers don't like to talk too much and physically look like Arnold Schwarzenegger's son. Except a witcher is also a 'mutant' and sterile as a jackass. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Chess pieces

Chess is often thought of as a game for pretentious tossers, and for teenage nerds in need of a competitive pastime that doesn’t necessarily end with them being wedgied. But this image is outdated. These days the game is also played by boxers desperate to show that repeated brain trauma has not affected their intelligence. (more...)

Did you know ...

... we've been expecting you, Mr. Bond? (pictured)
... that without lists, we feel listless?
... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
... that no one ever reads these sentences all the way to the end, except for a select few, who have the diligence and patience, and are bored enough, to read to the very end of these very long, dull and uninteresting sentences?
... Ven de Moon is full, Lahry Talbot becomes a Vere Volf?
... that every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings?
- ... and that's why you have to wait so long to get your takeout order?
... chickens can count to a hundred but are reluctant to show you up?

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On this day

July 1: Dennis Rodman Appreciation Day (in Canada), Canada Day (in most other countries).

1621 - The first curling joke is told in Massachusetts by Pilgrims frowning upon a frivolous game. In reality, they are jealous that they cannot play the game outdoors 350 days a year like their neighbors to the north.
1691 - Voyageurs come across Dennis Rodman shooting free throws in a clearing; an impromptu game of H-O-R-S-E occurs.
1863 - The Battle of Gettysburg begins. One hundred forty years later, Brooke leaves me, sparking my own personal battle.
1867 - The British North America Act takes effect as the Constitution of Canada, creating the Canadian Confederation, and laying down the first widely accepted standard rules of hockey.
1890 - Canada and Bermuda are linked by telegraph cable; Canada briefly enjoys participation in the Bermuda Triangle until a lobster severs the connection.
1933 - The Canadian Parliament suspends all Chinese immigration; the dreams of countless Chinese youths of playing hockey for a career are sundered.
1970 - Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers is honored on Canada Day as the Canadian of the Year. As the presenter attempts to hand him his trophy, he deftly blocks it with a stick save, sending it into the audience.
1980 - O Canada officially becomes the national anthem of Canada, replacing Canada Is Pretty Neat, Eh?.
2012 - Dennis Rodman convinces his BFF Kim Jong-un to tour with him on a take-on-all-comers 2-man beach volleyball tour through Canada.
2020 - The United States invades Canada with the intention of creating the massive new national park "Mooseland". After arriving, however, nothing of any interest was found, and all armed forces are withdrawn from the area.

Today's featured picture

This is NOT a potato. René Magritte's homage to Uncyclopedia. It could be a chipolata, actually; it's not a great painting either way.

Image credit: Sannse

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