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Today's featured article – UnNews:Uncyclopedia defends inept comedy at Supreme Court

The case is Novak v. City of Parma, in which plaintiff Anthony Novak (not the famous one) wrote a Facebook page ridiculing the police in Parma, Ohio. Parma is a small Midwestern city (parma is Latin for "small", nearly), these are governed by people with thin skin, and they notified Novak to cease and desist or he would be investigated. Novak ceased and, by all accounts, desisted; and Parma shelved the investigation — and went straight to the arrests. The police jailed Novak overnight and, as is usual in such cases, seized computer equipment that might yield information on the crime, such as printers, routers, and refrigerator magnets.

Novak claimed his work was an obvious parody and he was found not guilty. He then countersued claiming the police violated his rights. Lower courts dismissed the suit, using the same doctrine used at the state's playground basketball courts: "No blood, no foul." But the pesky Novak has appealed to the Supreme Court. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Sam Bankman-Fried

Samuel Benjamin "Sam" Bankman-Fried (or SBF, born at night but not last night) was an American finance executive, a darling of the world finance industry for his innovations in the fields of formal kleptocurrency and casual dress. Afterward, he was an inmate, rotting away in an unmarked cell in the Bahamas' squalid Fox Hill Prison, denied bail as a flight risk. Still later, he acceded to a date in U.S. District Court, was charged with enough things to have him die in prison, but was curiously bailed out and put in the custody of his professor parents on the opposite coast. Thus every day of the trial, he will be (more...)

Did you know ...

... that despite little publicity, drag racing is immensely popular in the UK? (pictured)
... that you should not cross a bridge before it is hatched?
... that if Robert Plant heard Stairway to Heaven on the radio, he would sing along?
- ...and if Jimmy Page were there too, he'd play air guitar?
... that the parasitic wasp Lathrolestes luteolator has changed its host from the sawfly to Steve Harvey??
... that fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to foreplay?
... the Boy Scouts were actually a concept developed by Gen. Gordon at the siege of Khartoum? And since the scouts saw no boys in the Mahdi army, they failed to give an alarm and the British garrison was wiped out?
... colourless is actually a valid colour, making "colourless" very colourful?

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On this day

[Insert double entendre here]

February 1: International [Insert Holiday Here] Day, Old Meme Flogging Day

24398 BCE - First fat kid falls down the first flight of stairs.</nowiki>
13455 BCE - Mammoth shaming works all too well, driving them to extinction. Nice going.
c.2000 BCE - Moses brings the Ten Commandments to his people, but forgets to go back for the tablet that contains Rule 34.
[Insert a year from 0-43 AD here] - [Insert overdone Jesus joke here]
[Insert 1337 here] - [Insert tired, pointless noob joke here]
[Insert date that doesn't follow the given order at all] - [Insert sexual innuendo with [insert name here] and [insert name here] along with an event that defies logic]

[Insert year here] - [Insert event that takes place in Paris here] - [Insert sentence containing 'Rioting' here]
1989 - Cats conspire to take over the internet but are foiled by humanity's deep love of Pr0n.
1991 - Richard Simmons overdoes exercise and is mistaken for what would later be known as Slenderman.
2006 - James Blunt admits he was fed helium as a child and recommends it to the youth of today
20X6 - Correct me if I'm wrong but are you asking me for a challenge?!?!
[Insert 2101 AD here] - [Insert tired, pointless All Your Base reference here]
<nowiki>[Insert (absurdly large number times two absurdly large numbers) AD here] - [Insert worn out and over used joke about a clone of your mother and me here].

Today's featured picture

Though Zoloft has been very successful in its ad for fighting depression on American television, it's had difficulty adapting its campaign for Japan.

Image credit: RadicalX

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UnNews The news source on crack	Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia	Undictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
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