Main Page

the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.

37,345 articles in English

Today's featured article – The Witcher

The Witcher is a short story series/fantasy book saga/role-playing game/Netflix television show. It is set a time period of Medieval knights, monsters, fantastical beings and a lot of magic. If you can imagine a mix of Conan the Barbarian, Game of Thrones and the legends of King Arthur then you will be getting close to what this series is about. Think also of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and a dash of Harry Potter then you would have the formula.

The author of The Witcher is Andrzej Sapkowski (born 1948). He is a Polish-born writer who started his Witcher short stories in the 1980s. This was followed by books in the 1990s, which took almost as long to finish as George R. R. Martin's A Game of Thrones, not ending until 2013. It took even longer for them to be translated into English. Some wish the copyright holders hadn't bothered.

A witcher is essentially a male witch or warlock with the yellow eyes of a cat. He has some magic tricks but normally prefers to express himself with his sword(s). Witchers don't like to talk too much and physically look like Arnold Schwarzenegger's son. Except a witcher is also a 'mutant' and sterile as a jackass. (more...)

Recently featured:

Previously featured article – Chess pieces

Chess is often thought of as a game for pretentious tossers, and for teenage nerds in need of a competitive pastime that doesn’t necessarily end with them being wedgied. But this image is outdated. These days the game is also played by boxers desperate to show that repeated brain trauma has not affected their intelligence. (more...)

Did you know ...

... I could absolutely kill for something to eat right now? (pictured)
... the US Postal Service delivered over 7.7 billion pieces of mail last year?
- ... and that unfortunately those started out as 5.2 billion packages and letters?
... that explorer Robert Peary, first to reach the North Pole except for seals and whales, also was first to reach the West Pole that no one knew existed?
... that if it ain't broke, it wasn't made in China or America?
... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head?
- ... and darn it, I always get the Richard Nixon mask!
... that Kanye persuaded Kim Kardashian to make Mastercard famous?
... an apple a day keeps the doctor away if thrown hard enough?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news

Miss England to Miss World: I'm out

Qatar gifts Trump an airplane (pictured)

Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos

DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia

Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration

Trump tees up new American empire

Elon Musk prepares for world government

I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong

US polls are broken ( listen)

DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote

Lebanon upgrades comms gear

Ohio city goes to the dogs

NE Patriots go "Judon-frei"

Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎

Starmer wins British general election

UnNews Front Page

On this day

July 17: Dog Days Begin (Summer), Professional Copiousness Day (Uncyclopedia), National Lottery Day (Massachusetts)

800 - With the Roman empire in shambles, the Dark Ages begin, ushering in a time of mysterious axe wounds and serfdom.
1493 - Native Americans sail east and discover Spain. They fail to celebrate this as their shackles prevent feasting and dancing.
1612 - The first message by homing pigeon is successfully received. It reads "Send back the pigeon".
1741 - Massachusetts successfully holds its first lottery, with over £3000 raised after paying out prizes totalling £5. The legislature manages to spend it all in 3 days on parties, hookers and liquor, establishing rules for governmental spending priorities in America.
1717 - The Blackbeard Catering Company (pictured) is founded, offering full foodservice and a variety of bar items including rum and grog, all at competitive rates.
1877 - The Statue of Liberty arrives in New York. Her luggage would be lost and not arrive until a week later, leaving her with only a green bathrobe to wear.
1934 - Faced with demands to clean up its act, Hollywood introduced the Hays Code, which set guidelines for things such as the use of Negroes in film.
1948 - The U.S. Presidential ticket of Strom Thurmond and his New Hampshire Merchant Cat, Stripey, garnered over one million votes in the general election.
1955 - Disneyland establishes its independence from Pixar.
1995 - The Snopes website comes online, and the truth and validity of countless rumors and urban legends, such as the safety and sexuality of children's toys and children's icons, respectively, are quashed.
1981 - Absolutely nothing of any consequence happens.
2005 - Misquoting Jesus, a book by Bart Ehrman, is published. Within a few short weeks it becomes the center of a firestorm of controversy, most of it defending Jesus' accomplishments as described in the Bible, among them "champion surfer" and "speedboat owner".

Today's featured picture

The 21^st century realist art left many masterpieces. The Gallery of World's Tableaux of Fame hosts many artworks from different parts of the world.

Image credit: 90s Kid21

Recent articles

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.

UnNews The news source on crack	Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia	Undictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes Where noisy things can live and prosper	Games Another way to waste time	HowTo Instructions and guides for anything and everything
UnBooks Content-free books	Unquotable Useless misquotes galore	Uncycloversity If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetia Poetry for people who hate poetry	UnDebate Debating all the irrelevant issues	UnScripts We can ruin stage and film too
Why? Don't make me explain it to you twice	UnReviews We'll tell you why things suck	UnBestiary Moo! Grrr! Narf! Harblesnock!
	UnCommons Broken media repository

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,345 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:

	Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 32194	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 55644	アンサイクロペディア日本語 Japan 20675	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 18266	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14849
	Désencyclopédie Français France 10073	Inciclopedia Español Spain 5708	偽基百科正體中文 Taiwan 6652	Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 14	Hikipedia Suomi Finland 8002
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're doing much better now; we simply can't be bothered.

Other Uncyclopedias
	백괴사전 한국어 South Korea 7103	ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย Thailand 3473	Pekepedia Tagalog Philippines 276	Bodohpedia Bahasa Melayu Malaysia 143	伪基百科汉语 Commie China 8411
	איןציקלופדיה עברית Israel 2224	קיינציקלאָפעדיע יידיש Yiddish 11	Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia Indonesia 8281	Ndhablek Basa Jawa Java 4	Goblogpedia Basa Sunda Sunda 4
	Yansiklopedi Türkçe Turkey 873	اللاموسوعة العربية Iraq 1329	نانشنامه فارسی Iran 594	ანციკლ ოპედია ქართული Georgia 40	Uncyclopedia.km ភាសាខ្មែរ Cambodia 0
	Spademanns Leksikon Dansk Denmark 9618	Ikkepedia Norsk Norway 4685	Ikkjepedia Norsk (nynorsk) Norway	Psyklopedin Svenska Sweden 2549	Անգրագ իտարան Հայերեն Armenia 26
	Valenciclopèdia Català Andorra 582	Nunyepedia Asturianu Asturias 56	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 6213	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 47	আনসাইক্ল োপিডিয়া বাংলা Bangladesh 19
	Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά Greece 2853	Scotypedia Scots Scotland 9	Frithchiclipéid Gaeilge Ireland 11	ວິກິພີເດຍ ລາວ Laos 10	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 188
	Нециклопедија Српски Serbia 463	Neciklopedija Bosanski Bosnia 27	Neciklopediju Hrvatski Croatia 303	Butalopedija Slovenščina Slovenia 30	Википедија Македонски Macedonia 170
	Oncyclopedia Nederlands Holland 3082	Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 19	Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3971	Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1899	Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1776
	Оксипедия Български Bulgaria 258	Neciclopedie Română Romania 174	Uichipedia Молдовеняскэ Moldova 84	Інциклопедія Українська Ukraine 1177	Абсурдопедия Русский Russia 4303
	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 158	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 276	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 4720	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 12
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.