Main Page
Today's featured article – UnNews:Bad karaoke costs boys their vocal cordsNORTHAMPTON, England -- Three friends with learning difficulties, including one with Down's syndrome, performed such a poor rendition of the Beatles' classic "Hey Jude" at the Abington Pub in Northampton that the pub landlord removed their vocal cords. Suspicions grew after landlord Neil Bartholomey purchased a bumper pack of best-value gags, three 2m × 2m cemetery plots, and a DIY embalming kit. It was later revealed that the whole patronage of the pub had been in on the plot to end the boys' budding singing careers. "They were driving away customers with their ranting," Mr. Bartholomey explained. "It's not like this is the first time they've done it, either! Sometimes they just come in at about 3 o'clock, order a dozen Shirley Temples, and don't leave until their mum picks them up at 9!" Mr. Bartholomey denied that extracting their vocal cords and leaving them to bleed violated human rights. "It was for the good of humanity!" he shouted as police subdued him. "If they wandered into your pub and started belting out "Yellow Submarine", you'd do the same, unless you're just not enough of a man!" (more...) Recently featured:
Previously featured article – ConcisionConcision (also called brevity, laconicism, crispness, briefness, succinctness, pithiness or compactness but not to be confused with terseness (which is concision to the point of rudeness) or sententiousness (which is concision in the service of pompous moralising, or sanctimonious lecturing)) is a writing principle (or doctrine of composition) which promotes the advantages of eliminating, removing or excising redundancy from prose, verse and other forms of expressive writing. (more...) Did you know ...
|
In the news
On this dayMay 17: Day of the Exhausted Dog (Mongolia only)
|
Today's featured picture
Oil Wells Of Our Fathers - coming soon to a theater near Texas. Image credit: --VitalOD |
Recent articles
Baire category theorem | Chickpea | Red squirrel | Iron law (pictured) | The Wheel of Time | James K. Polk | Chandigarh, India | Barcode | Billy Cunningham | The Catwoman in the Hat | Cake (band) | Aviation safety | Ketanji Brown Jackson | B-52 (r/w) | Cup of Joe | SZNZ | Pokémon games: Pokémon video games (3DS era) • Pokémon video games (Switch era) | Ghana: Koforidua • Accra • Takoradi • Tamale • Passion Air • Kakum National Park | Solo: A Star Wars Story | Ukraine: 2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine • History of Ukraine | Ann Nooney | The Monks (UK band) | Guinea (r/w) | The B-52s | DNA (r/w) | Scratch disk
|
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
![]() |
UnNews The news source on crack |
![]() |
Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia |
![]() |
Undictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid |
![]() |
UnTunes Where noisy things can live and prosper |
![]() |
Games Another way to waste time |
![]() |
HowTo Instructions and guides for anything and everything |
![]() |
UnBooks Content-free books |
![]() |
Unquotable Useless misquotes galore |
![]() |
Uncycloversity If it makes sense, we don't want it |
![]() |
UnPoetia Poetry for people who hate poetry |
![]() |
UnDebate Debating all the irrelevant issues |
![]() |
UnScripts We can ruin stage and film too |
![]() |
Why? Don't make me explain it to you twice |
![]() |
UnReviews We'll tell you why things suck |
![]() |
UnBestiary Moo! Grrr! Narf! Harblesnock! |
![]() |
UnCommons Broken media repository |
Uncyclopedia languages
Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 32194 |
Desciclopédia Português Brazil 55644 |
アンサイクロペディア 日本語 Japan 20675 |
Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 18266 |
Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14849 |
||
Désencyclopédie Français France 10073 |
Inciclopedia Español Spain 5708 |
偽基百科 正體中文 Taiwan 6652 |
Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 14 |
Hikipedia Suomi Finland 8002 |
||
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. |
Other Uncyclopedias
Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.