Main Page

the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.

37,325 articles in English

Today's featured article – HowTo:Become a Pope

Welcome. This is a print-out-and-keep guide if you fancy a career change. There is also available a translation in Latin. Now pray and read the rest of this guide. We are talking about you can Become a Pope.

So let's fill you in with a bit of background. First you will have to be a Catholic and male. We know this may be an impediment to many of you but the church is very broad these days. The Popehood is open to all, but you do need to wear pants and not be a gossip.

There is now a minimum and maximum age to become pope. You also need to be a cardinal to be a papal candidate, though that rule came in about 1,000 years ago. Since you can only become a cardinal once you reach your 35th birthday, that is now the minimum age to become pope. The maximum age for a pope is 80, a rule brought in only in the 1960s. (more...)

Recently featured:

Previously featured article – Norse Korea

Norse Korea is a land shrouded in mystery, where the thunder of war echoes not only across its borders but also in the halls of Valhalla. The country's leader, Kim Jong Odin, is known for his legendary prowess in keeping a tight grip on the helm of his snowy kingdom — just as Thor would grip Mjolnir, only with slightly less thunderous applause. (more...)

Did you know ...

... while you sleep, strange creatures are playing with your tub toys in the bath? (pictured)
... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
... Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? MOVE BACK INTO SURVEILLANCE CAMERA RANGE
... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news

Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos (pictured)

DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia

Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration

Trump tees up new American empire

Elon Musk prepares for world government

I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong

US polls are broken ( listen)

DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote

Lebanon upgrades comms gear

Ohio city goes to the dogs

NE Patriots go "Judon-frei"

Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎

Starmer wins British general election

Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear

Pope Francis revealed to be chat-bot‎

UnNews Front Page

On this day

April 24: The Feast of Maximum Occupancy, Zombie Jesus Day (Christians and Eggnogstics)

33 CE - Zombie Jesus rises from his tomb and partially devours the brains of his apostles, resulting in most of the inane ramblings in The New Testament.
89 CE - Pope Clement I celebrates the first Zombie Jesus Day by decreeing that people consume copious amounts of high cholesterol in the form of chocolate and painted chicken embryos.
1353 - Badger maulings reach record levels in Europe.
1704 - The first regular newspaper is published in America, The Boston New-Letter, containing overly-opinionated columns and hyped-up headlines. Circulation soars.
1856 - The word 'chairman' is introduced to the Oxford English Dictionary as 'A person with a proclivity to stand sitting'.
1862 - The Amerikan Sivil Whar on spelling begins, the letter u in color being the first victim.
1981 - IBM create the first known evil computer.
1982 - IBM reveals computer wasn't 'evil', it was just running a Microsoft operating system.
1984 - Apple builds the world's first do-nothing computer.
1986 - Time begins, to the disappointment of trillions.
2000 - Fat-free chips are withdrawn from supermarket shelves in the UK due to risk of intestinal implosion.
2005 - George W. Bush declares, 'America is officially full'. Congress approves bypass for Haitian boatpeople to row to Canada.
Today - You eat too much food and spend five hours on the toilet thinking of Uncyclopedia jokes.

Today's featured picture

Microsoft Internet Explorer's Popup Blocker has always left something to be desired.

Image credit: Blah Blah Blah

Recent articles

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.

UnNews The news source on crack	Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia	Undictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes Where noisy things can live and prosper	Games Another way to waste time	HowTo Instructions and guides for anything and everything
UnBooks Content-free books	Unquotable Useless misquotes galore	Uncycloversity If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetia Poetry for people who hate poetry	UnDebate Debating all the irrelevant issues	UnScripts We can ruin stage and film too
Why? Don't make me explain it to you twice	UnReviews We'll tell you why things suck	UnBestiary Moo! Grrr! Narf! Harblesnock!
	UnCommons Broken media repository

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,325 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:

	Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 32194	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 55644	アンサイクロペディア日本語 Japan 20675	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 18266	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14849
	Désencyclopédie Français France 10073	Inciclopedia Español Spain 5708	偽基百科正體中文 Taiwan 6652	Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 14	Hikipedia Suomi Finland 8002
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're doing much better now; we simply can't be bothered.

Other Uncyclopedias
	백괴사전 한국어 South Korea 7103	ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย Thailand 3473	Pekepedia Tagalog Philippines 276	Bodohpedia Bahasa Melayu Malaysia 143	伪基百科汉语 Commie China 8411
	איןציקלופדיה עברית Israel 2224	קיינציקלאָפעדיע יידיש Yiddish 11	Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia Indonesia 8281	Ndhablek Basa Jawa Java 4	Goblogpedia Basa Sunda Sunda 4
	Yansiklopedi Türkçe Turkey 873	اللاموسوعة العربية Iraq 1329	نانشنامه فارسی Iran 594	ანციკლ ოპედია ქართული Georgia 40	Uncyclopedia.km ភាសាខ្មែរ Cambodia 0
	Spademanns Leksikon Dansk Denmark 9618	Ikkepedia Norsk Norway 4685	Ikkjepedia Norsk (nynorsk) Norway	Psyklopedin Svenska Sweden 2549	Անգրագ իտարան Հայերեն Armenia 26
	Valenciclopèdia Català Andorra 582	Nunyepedia Asturianu Asturias 56	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 6213	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 47	আনসাইক্ল োপিডিয়া বাংলা Bangladesh 19
	Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά Greece 2853	Scotypedia Scots Scotland 9	Frithchiclipéid Gaeilge Ireland 11	ວິກິພີເດຍ ລາວ Laos 10	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 188
	Нециклопедија Српски Serbia 463	Neciklopedija Bosanski Bosnia 27	Neciklopediju Hrvatski Croatia 303	Butalopedija Slovenščina Slovenia 30	Википедија Македонски Macedonia 170
	Oncyclopedia Nederlands Holland 3082	Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 19	Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3971	Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1899	Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1776
	Оксипедия Български Bulgaria 258	Neciclopedie Română Romania 174	Uichipedia Молдовеняскэ Moldova 84	Інциклопедія Українська Ukraine 1177	Абсурдопедия Русский Russia 4303
	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 158	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 276	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 4720	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 12
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.