Today's featured article – International Alphabet Magnet Day
International Alphabet Magnet Day is a national holiday dedicated to the promotion of alphabet magnets, which are usually found on the metal doors of refrigerators.
They certainly needed promotion; there is little one can do with a set of magnets that are utterly unable to spell out any word containing double letters or in fact any repetition. Young marrieds may leave one another a note such as love yu [sic] but they are otherwise next to useless. They are never original equipment shipped with any refrigerator.
The only reason any are sold in the aftermarket is that people need some sort of magnet to attach papers to the refrigerator door (as avocado-colored refrigerators were a fad that passed quickly and left unsightly appliances throughout the nation that now need covering). Alphabet magnets may give young marrieds with children the feeling they are "promoting literacy," though the magnets more often promote mispelng. Alphabet magnets come in a handful of colors, and any attempt to spell out words while keeping color in mind is even more contrived.
Critics call International Alphabet Magnet Day crass commercialism, of the sort that Hallmark Cards performs by inventing "holidays" like Stepsister-In-Law Day and rolling out a line of greeting cards for each one. (more...)
Previously featured article – Pandemics
In our wheezing, sniffly, Covid world it can be difficult to recall that pandemics are nothing new. Waves of disease have sept across the world since the dawn of mankind, generally un-noted by history due to the insufficiently pale complexion of their victims. However, even Europe has not been left unaffected and the number of Belgians suffering from the crippling effects of ingrowing toenails has recently surpassed the global death toll of Dengue fever. (more...)
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