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Today's featured article – Pandemics

In our wheezing, sniffly, Covid world it can be difficult to recall that pandemics are nothing new. Waves of disease have sept across the world since the dawn of mankind, generally un-noted by history due to the insufficiently pale complexion of their victims. However, even Europe has not been left unaffected and the number of Belgians suffering from the crippling effects of ingrowing toenails has recently surpassed the global death toll of Dengue fever.

Bubonic Plague was long popular on the continent. Up to 200 million people so enjoyed the 14th century Black Death that they couldn’t bear to go without it when the Yersinia Pestis finally exhausted itself in 1353. As one can never have too much of a good thing, plague returned for an encore in the 16th century, with a revival in the West End of London being enjoyed terminally by over 20,000 happy punters. This triumph swiftly transferred to the Alhambra Theatre, Tenerife where another 10,000 went to grave swearing that it was the finest malady they’d ever endured. Soon plague-fever gripped the continent, gathering 3,000 ardent Maltese fans in 1592 before popular demand saw it return to London to claim another 20,000 devotees, while simultaneously gripping Spanish audiences of up to half a million. News of the terminal fun quickly got around and soon plague was embarking on regular tours of the major cities of France, Italy and Germany, even venturing to the New World and to China.

But for all the popularity of swollen lymph nodes, wracking pain and terminal fevers we should not ignore the affection that Europeans have had for other pathogens over the years; some of which were widespread, some of which were specific to certain regions of the continent due to the revolting practices common in those distinct regions. (more...)

Recently featured:

Previously featured article – Possum Trot

Possum Trot is a city in the U.S. state of Tennessee, formerly known as Sootyburg, thence Coal Creek, thence Lake City, thence Rocky Top, the citizenry repeatedly induced to rename their municipality to capture a few more flatlander tourist dollars, typically on the strength of a popular music song that they could argue referred to them. (more...)

Did you know ...

... that video games have sometimes been linked to aggressive behavior among teenagers? (pictured)
... the sponge was the highest form of life in the early Cambrian period?
- ... and today, SpongeBob is?
... that Forrest Fenn buried treasure worth over $1 million in the Rocky Mountains?
- ... and it was found by billionaire Paul Allen who used it to buy socks and nose hair clippers?
... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously?
... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
... that the Mauna Loa volcano is actually taller than Mt. Everest if the four elephants standing on the back of giant turtle underneath it are counted?
... that Richard the Lionheart of England had a "Richard the Lionheart" of his own?

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In the news

On this day

September 15: World Lame Excuse Day

A long time ago - God creates the Earth: "At the time, it seemed like a good idea."
201 million years BCE - The Triassic-Jurassic extinction event occurs, killing most every animal except dinosaurs. While scientists argue about the cause, everyone else knows damn well it was due to dinosaurs playing with matches.
c.45,000 BCE - The first ironic use of "Oopsie" is uttered by a Homo sapiens as he drops a rock on a Neanderthal.
1403 - Timur the Lame regrets killing millions, explaining that nobody ever taught him about self-control.
1804 - Aaron Burr kills Alexander Hamilton in a duel and causes an uproar: "I didn't know the gun was loaded."
1883 - Krakatoa volcano explodes massively, killing many thousands. Odin categorically asserts, "It didn't happen on my shift."
1928 - Sur Alexandur Flemminge dizkuvvas a tipe of mold wiv mirakulus heeling propurtees and iz tranzfourmed into an invinssibble sooperhero, skurge ov orl villins and protektur ov ver peepul ov Goffam Sitty.
1973 - When Francisco Franco's handpicked successor Admiral Carrero Blanco is assassinated, The Family Circle's Billy is arrested. When questioned, he insists it's "Not me."
1976 - David Berkowitz, aka Son of Sam, goes on a killing spree. He blames his dog Sam who orders him to do so. It is found that his cat Chauncy is a ventriloquist and is the one really responsible.
1989 - Billy Joel says that he didn't start the fire and takes a ridiculous amount of time to explain.
2003 - US-led forces leave Iraq in ruins with no recovery plan. George W. Bush states "We found it like that."
2015 - Disneycorp. releases Star Wars: The Force Awakens basically with the same plot repeated from earlier Star Wars movies: "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery."

Today's featured picture

Norelco's flagship product, Occam's Razor, has nearly the same effect on philosophers as it does on their arguments. Unfortunately it doesn't do much about beards.

Image credit: Martinultima

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