UnNews:Qatar gifts Trump an airplane
| A newsstand that's brimming with issues | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Monday, May 26, 2025, 01:29:59 (UTC) |
| Qatar gifts Trump an airplane | 
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24 May 2025
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. Government has accepted a Boeing 747 to take the place of Air Force One, a plane so old that smoking is not banned and the stewardesses still wear shockingly revealing uniforms.
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth accepted the gift from the royal family of Qatar, stating on X that he will commemorate the event with more social media posts or perhaps more mass firings of queer subordinates. Qatar is an Arab emirate notorious for its lavish spending, including to more local groups such as Hamas, though defiant over simple protocols, such as that the letter Q is supposed to always be followed by u.
President Donald Trump stated on social media, "Why should our military, and therefore our taxpayers, be forced to pay hundreds of millions of Dollars when they can get it for FREE". Trump is actively pursuing a plan for Arabs to save Americans more money by paying his $400,000 salary and that of his White House staff.
The Boeing is valued at $400 million. A Defense Department spokesman assured this reporter on background that it will cost less than one billion to ensure that the jet has no listening devices, that Qatar cannot crash it with a mouse click, and that it can survive a nuclear explosion and be refueled in flight indefinitely until a potential World War III ends. The plane will then be retrofitted to serve the President Big Macs and Diet Coke.
The Boeing corporation is behind schedule on a jumbo jet to replace the 40-year-old Air Force One, as it is preoccupied with orders from ex-President Joe Biden that its Engineering Department hire the right number of minorities, the effeminate, and the intellectually disabled. Another time-consuming chore is figuring out how to include the new technology from the 737 MAX that wrests the joystick away from the pilot when AI determines he is flying it wrong and puts the aircraft into a power dive.
Congressional opposition is apoplectic, as always, at the gift from a frequently hostile foreign power. Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer, reborn as a Constitutional scholar, cites the Emulsion Clause, which prohibits the President from taking free stuff from foreigners until his foreign policy turns into a watery emulsion. Trump counters that the gift is not to him but to the Defense Department; and at the end of his Presidency, he will not be taking it with him, only boxes full of classified documents. The Boeing will become the property of the Trump Second Presidential Library, where it will take the place of buses and get visitors to and from the parking lot faster than ever before in history, nothing else like it.
Sources[edit]
- Lolita C. Baldor "Pentagon accepts Qatar’s Boeing 747 for Trump’s use". Associated Press, May 21, 2025