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UnFair and UnBalanced UnNews Tuesday, June 28, 2022, 06:36:59 (UTC)

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Roe repeal leads to urban protests
LOS ANGELES, California -- The repeal of Roe v. Wade has promped protests in numerous cities in the United States.

The protests are occurring in states where abortion is certain to remain legal, by the same advocates of personal autonomy who recently touted mandatory face-masks and injections to do something about the Coronavirus. Full story»

Kids keep dying of dehydration
TOKYO -- Another thousand children have died of dehydration. Parliament is calling for the legal drinking age law to be abolished, so the under-age can start drinking (mainly water).

African countries have removed all such laws, allowing children to finally taste water for the first time in their lives — even though they'd be better off dying of dehydration rather than contamination. Full story»

January 6th commission confirms someone is lying
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The January 6th Commission has confirmed, at its latest hearings on the mass tourist invasion of the Capitol on that date last year, that one of the following is true:

Either former President Donald Trump is a liar; or Trump is a victim of the biggest witch hunt since Salem. Full story»

Biden dumps bike, nation clamors for reform
REHOBOTH BEACH, Maryland -- Joe Biden fell off his bicycle, in an episode that is sure to spawn a Congressional Commission and bipartisan legislation.

Biden was wearing a helmet at the time, as well as six Coronavirus masks, as safety is his top priority when performing outrageous stunts to display his vigor. Full story»

July named Wrath Month
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- July has been designated Wrath Month in the United States.

The announcement follows the proclamation of June as "Pride Month," and dovetails with the "Summer of Rage" announced by Women's March, in which their members will become and remain angry unless the U.S. Supreme Court issues opinions with which they agree. Full story»

Australian cops take on lettuce Mafia
CANBERRA, Australia -- The Australian Federal Police (AFP) have announced Operation Iron Leaf to combat the rising crime committed by the Lettuce Mafia.

The Cabbage Coalition seized control of the Australian criminal underworld, striking a deal with Kentucky Fried Chicken to use only cabbage. Prime Minister Anthony Albanese warned that "putting cabbage in burgers is just plain wrong!" Full story»

Boris Caesar survives assassination attempt
BRITANNIA -- Boris Caesar survived an attempt to kill him during a rare visit to Westminster, by his own courtiers, chanting 'Here's your surprise birthday party'.

Boris Caesar had been under pressure for holding parties whilst ordering all his subjects to cower alone behind bolted doors when plague struck. Full story»

Bee sues Amber Heard for defamation
FAIRFAX, Virginia -- A honeybee has filed suit against Amber Heard for defamation.

The defamation occurred during the final moments of the Heard v. Depp trial here, as Amber revealed shocking testimony that her dog stepped on a bee. The bee testifed that the dog never, in fact, stepped on him, and now Heard faces a "copycat" lawsuit. Full story»

Sharknado gets a spin-off
PACIFIC OCEAN -- The water-breaking movie franchise Sharknado has finally been revived by the release of its latest spin-off film, Sharkcano.

Unlike the previous movies, Sharkcano will be about sharks being blown out of a volcano, instead of being thrashed around inside a tornado. Full story»

Queen Elizabeth vanishes
LONDON -- Queen Elizabeth vanished before she could deliver a speech in the British Houses of Parliament. Her son and heir Prince Charles staggered up to the stage to take over whilst a hunt was conducted for the missing monarch.

The cynical suggest it was a stage-managed practice run for when Prince Andrew is formally photoshopped into oblivion for being friends of Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. Full story»

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TV Highlights June 28

Horizon: Investigation into whether Microbiology exists elsewhere in the Universe Science Documentary
BBC 3 7:00 PM GMT
Brian Cox gets an insight into the search of microbiology on other planets.

Who wants to be Abducted by an Alien Quiz Show
ITV1 5:00 PM GMT
A quiz show in which celebrities compete to be kidnapped by ET! (Warning: This programme is for entertainment purposes only and does not support the fact that alien life exists).

Aliens: A daily struggle to survive! Science Documentary
Channel 5 8:00 PM GMT
We meet Alan and Dave, random people off the street who claim they are aliens, to obtain true, scientifically proven facts about alien serial killers living in the Midlands with dramatic narration and the theme from Dracula playing on repeat in the background.