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Welcome to the New and Improved Newsroom. The purpose here is primarily to facilitate discussion on technical, policy, and other UnNews-specific items.

Comments that pertain to a single UnNews article should be added to the Discussion (Talk) page of that article.

Newsroom Archives

Archive 1 | Archive 2 | Archive 3

Managing UnNews[edit]

Is anyone going to manage the news (feature page)? If no one volunteers, can anyone explain me how to manage the feature page? Is it right for me to type this? Am I going out of my bounds here? --ShabiDOO 20:35, April 29, 2011 (UTC)

Dexter said he's do it --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 20:40, April 29, 2011 (UTC)
Yep. Since I was on the team that put the page together and whatnot. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 20:41, April 29, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks Dex. --ShabiDOO 21:55, April 29, 2011 (UTC)
Everyone is encouraged to help manage the news. To manage the feature page, simply edit one of the templates below. Replace all of the information with the relevant information to your article. It's really that easy. Here are the five lead article templates you can choose from:

--Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 22:08 Apr 29 2011

Thanks mochila. I have the feeling that if more than one person starts selecting that there might be shiting going on a lot. Ive always liked Spikes choices and never thought to change them myself. Im sure Dex will do a good job selecting them, but if you are suggesting that we all take part in that, might that get messy? What do you think? --ShabiDOO 22:12, April 29, 2011 (UTC)
Not at all. The news is always updating. A 24 hour stagnation period on UnNews is bad and not at all like an actual news organization. If you want to leave it for me for the time being, that's fine. This encouragement for others to be more active in choosing the content on the main page is mainly to keep one person from becoming obsessed with it and to prevent this part of the site from becoming stagnant just because one person is inactive. Either way, the chances of there being much dispute over the headlines shouldn't be frequent, and they will always be minor since this section of the site is constantly updating. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 22:25, April 29, 2011 (UTC)
Okay, in that case, lets feature every article I write. That will be a good start ;) --ShabiDOO 22:33, April 29, 2011 (UTC)
Maybe to avoid conflict, each UnNews "editor" could lay claim to their own Lead Article slot. Since they all basically have the same prominence on the main page, and it's also a system pretty close to how many newspapers work in real life. No need to vote or appoint or anything, just a "dibs" system would be simplest. Also, it shares the responsibility among many users so that, in case one user gets mysteriously banned for a week, people won't automatically crawl into a fetal position and worry for the future of the site. --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly.jpg 22:44, April 29, 2011 (UTC)
But the fetal position makes me feel comfortable and warm, I feel safe and I can face the world knowing that nothing will ever chage. How oh how do we face change. Okay, so I get first dib? And second dib? And third and fourth dib? ;) --ShabiDOO 22:53, April 29, 2011 (UTC)

Oh...my gosh.[edit]

Osama had porn, apparently. And lots of it.

This is 100% all-natural Uncyclopedian food. Shall we make an article?

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700135105/Osama-bin-Ladens-hideout-contained-extensive-stash-of-pornography.html --BoctorRodotnik 03:05, May 14, 2011 (UTC)

I like how the news story takes the idea that there was pornography found in Bin Laden's compound to mean that he was the one watching it. And then adding the slight insinuation at the end that he was the one in the videos.
Clearly, 9/11 was orchestrated by a porn star. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 03:11, 14 May 2011 (UTC)

UnNews Newsroom[edit]

Piles of empty pizza boxes, a fridge full of yogurt thickening milk..an empty wine bottle or two..scattered blue pills...yep, the UnNews Newsroom is fully dysfunctional. Has anyone seen anyone? --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 06:48, May 31, 2011 (UTC)

Nope, ain't seen noboody. And I'm definitely not a squatter here. *makes a hasty exit*

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 06:54, 31 May 2011

No longer including the city, state, country in the leads[edit]

In order to look more like what UnNews is parodying (that being Wikinews for anyone who doesn't know), please refrain from putting the city, state/country, when you update the lead templates. Thanks. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 18:12, June 1, 2011 (UTC)

Some things to pay attention to so I don't have to[edit]

In my couple of weeks editing UnNews, I've realized that a good 80% of what I do is to rectify 1 or 2 different issues that keep cropping up in UnNews stories. So, in an effort to save time by preventing these nagging problems that will, unfortunately, fail due to the fact that no one comes to the UnNewsroom but will, fortunately, save a certain amount of time because I will, inevitably, be linking this section to UnNews reporters' talk pages instead of, as I have been, rehashing this rant again and again and again... I forgot where I was going with this. Anyway...

Punctuation marks and quotation marks[edit]

As an American, I naturally thought that the way I was brought up doing grammar, and putting punctuation inside quotation marks, was the right and only way and that it was justifiable to invade any country that thought otherwise. However, it was recently made known to me, by sources to remain anonymous, that American English vs. British English is not just a matter of Color vs. Colour. The Brits have their own grammar usage, and one of the main differences is that they (usually) put their punctuation on the outside of quotation marks. What does this mean to you, or courageous reader?

If you (the writer) are American, are writing about an American story, are writing about a story set in America, or want to give your story an American feel to it:

Any punctuation goes inside a quotation mark. "It's really quite simple," I keep telling people.

If you (the writer) are British, are writing about a British story, are writing about a story set in Britain, or want to give your story a British feel to it:

You're fucked

Only the quotation that is a part of the quote itself is included between the quotation marks: "This is a little more complex", I tell people, "because it all depends on what I'm actually saying and what you, as a writer have to add to my quote to make it logical." Because, in real life, I said "This is a little more complex because it all depends on what I'm actually saying and what you, as a writer have to add to my quote to make it logical." the comma does not go in the quotation marks, as it is something the writer added to the quote, while the period does go inside the quotation marks because it is a part of what I actually said.

If, for some ungodly reason, you want to read more on the subject, check out the Wikipedia page.

Smart and dumb quotation marks[edit]

Smart quotation marks are the ones that curve one way or the other, depending on where they are in the sentence. Dumb ones just go straight up and down. For reasons unknown, smart quotation marks sometimes curve the wrong way on Uncyclopedia, making some quotes begin with a closing quotation mark. This looks dumber than a drunk toddler, but is less amusing. Please just use dumb quotation marks, because if just a single smart one goes awry, I have to go in and change all the smart ones to dumb ones, which takes time, because if I don't things just don't look right.

As always, if you have any questions, please ask me on my talk page. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 18:38, 13 June 2011 (UTC)