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The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!
Welcome to Uncyclopedia's online news page, the UnSignpost! Find out anything you want and don't want to know about what's happening on this site and elsewhere! News is updated here regularly
(every month) giving you a minute by minute account of the goings-on in the Uncyclopedia community.
Long live the Queen — or not
Queen Elizabeth II
As a Queen of Britannia, Liz's main duty consisted of defending Britannia from attack by Infidels and crushing rebellions by the English, Scottish, Irish and Americans. She is the daughter of Queen Victoria and the great-grand-daughter of King Henry VIII as well as being related to most of the other famous monarchs. If you live anywhere in the Commonwealth, all your base are technically belong to her. She was the sequel to Elizabeth I. She lived in Buckingham Palace and travelled the country running errands and carrying out general defence duties on her trusty battle horse, Terrance. She enjoyed playing cricket and speaking German with a quaint English accent.
UnNews from the United Kingdom
Old lady dies of old age
LONDON -- Britons are stunned that an old lady could die peacefully of old age.
Queen Elizabeth II passed away shortly after the UK's new prime minister, Liz Truss, kissed Her Former Majesty on the hand. The palace guards say this was just a 'coincidence', though several whisper that the queen didn't want to die with Boris Johnson still in charge.
Britons to shut up on Sunday
LONDON -- Britain is to observe a 'minute of silence' Sunday before the burial of Queen Elizabeth II.
The Queen had outlived nearly all other Britons, and thus almost no one has been asked to be silent for a full minute in their entire lives. In fact, most Britons are unable to 'put a sock in it' for more than a few seconds.
Sexual revolution overtakes royals
LONDON -- It is not just in America's Marvel Comics that none of the good guys knows what his heroic quest is, nor even if he is a he. The sexual revolution has reached British royalty.
The Queen is dead
Queen Elizabeth II passed away on the 8th earlier this month after she failed to renew her subscription to the 'Elixir of Life'. With this, her son, now calling himself King Charles III, has been sworn in as King of England as well as King of Australia, and all the other Commonwealth countries. King Charles III was also up for nomination for King of Uncyclopedia but due to a failed VFH, he will not get to sit on the throne of Uncyclopedia(.com)
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