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Basil II
By Romartus
Mention Basil II in a bar in Sofia, Bulgaria, and there is a good chance you will exit it head-first and minus some teeth. Historians consider Basil an effective Byzantine emperor, but Bulgaria would try him for war crimes if he returned today. His nickname, Basil the Bulgar Slayer, provides a clue.
Chris Squire
By Spike
Christopher Robert Edward Squire (4 March 1948 – 27 June 2015) was an English electric bass player best-known as the most chronic member of the band Yes. Squire is a member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, in the Bassist Annex (formerly, the building's outhouse).
Ringo Starr becomes a doctor
By OnePunch
LONDON -- Former Beatle drummer Ringo Starr has become a doctor.
Ringo stated that he chose to become a doctor after playing the kids board game Operation! with his wife during lockdown. "I made the guy buzz a few times and his nose went red which I thought meant that I was winning," Starr said. "I was wrong... but when you think about it, who is more wrong? Me touching the metal things, or the guy who ate a butterfly, a pencil, a rubberband and a bucket?"
New month
By OnePunch
Alrighty ladies and gentlemen, it is now July. Y'know, the seventh month of the year. Is this important you might be asking, and the answer to that is "no".
You might also be asking "where has OnePunch been lately? I've really missed him", and the answer to that is that I have been put in witniss protection by the AFP, which according to Spike, nobody knows what it means, but I know what it means, and all of Australia knows what it means, so I'm guessing HE doesn't know what it means and didn't want to feel left out, so he grouped a bunch of people with himself. Also, the rest of the world knows about Americas FBI and CIA and SWAT and ATF and all the other letter agencies, and even the British SAS, MI6, MI5 etc., but when it comes to poor old Australia our three and four letter agencies get the short hand of the stick, and when I say "the SOG took down a gang of drug dealers" you're all like "oh you Aussies and your made up words that make everything sound like it's in a porno".
I don't even remember what this section was meant to be about. Oh that's right, July. Now I know I am a day late, but here is a 4th of July joke for you Americans;
How come there's no knock-knock joke about America?
Because freedom rings.
Was that funny? I don't know anymore....
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