UnNews:Ringo Starr becomes a doctor
| A newsstand that's brimming with issues | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Thursday, November 21, 2024, 14:58:59 (UTC) |
| Ringo Starr becomes a doctor | 
|
5 July 2022
LIVERPOOL, United Kingdom -- Former Beatle drummer Ringo Starr has become a doctor.
"I just thought it was time to change profession," Starr stated. "I mean, the bloody Beatles broke up over fifty-years ago! I think it's time I move on and stop living in the past, y'know?"
The 81-year old musician has not contributed much to the music industry since 1969, except a few hits like "I'm the Greatest", "Photograph" and "Six O'Clock" — all of which were written by (in order); John Lennon, co-written with George Harrison, and Paul McCartney. The drummer has also had to postpone his All Starr Band tour due to the left over remnants of the COVID-19 virus. During this time, Starr has put his new doctoring skills to the test — operating on several persons, in which the outcome has been deemed classified by the British Ministry of Health.
Ringo stated that he chose to become a doctor after playing the kids board game Operation! with his wife during lockdown. "I made the guy buzz a few times and his nose went red which I thought meant that I was winning," Starr said. "I was wrong... but when you think about it, who is more wrong? Me touching the metal things, or the guy who ate a butterfly, a pencil, a rubberband and a bucket?"
Upon an investigation conducted by Agent Thomas the Tank Engine of MI6, it turns out that the drummers doctorate was actually in the field of music, and not medicine/surgery. Starr will not be fined for malpractice by the British Government, but will instead be arrested on charges of money laundering after promoting his new range of NFTs on Twitter.