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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's online news page, the UnSignpost! Find out anything you want and don't want to know about what's happening on this site and elsewhere! News is updated here regularly (every month) giving you a minute by minute account of the goings-on in the Uncyclopedia community.
Liz Truss
Elizabeth 'Liz' Truss has been the British prime minister since September 2022. She was elected leader of the Conservative Party after her predecessor Boris Johnson resigned for being a terminally scruffy waste of space. Actually, for covering up a bit of sex groping by one of his MPs. There was also the matter of partying hearty whilst the rest of Britain was under orders to hide in the basement until the Coronavirus went away. Truss is the fourth British prime minister in six years. Her expected political life span could be equally short. She notes that she is not required to call an election until 2024. Of course, that is what BoJo said as well.
Isle of Harris
The Isle of Harris is not really an island, despite being part of the Western Isles of Scotland. Instead, it is one of the world's largest retirement homes, second only to Benidorm. Harris boasts amazing natural landscapes and a state-of-the-art PR department. The largest town, Tarbert, acts as a backup escape route off Harris when the Stornoway ferry is cancelled. If both are cancelled, you're screwed. In fact, Harris is just part of Lewis. Anyone who says otherwise is trying to make money off of candles, alcohol or tweed.
K-pop stars killed in non-action
By OnePunch
South Korea -- Members of the Korean boy band BTS have been pronounced dead after joining the South Korean army for just one day.
Tragedy struck quickly, as these high-class, pampered boys were just not cut out for the outside world. Their basic training only included jumping jacks, push-ups, and running in the rain while looking sexy.
US to build Strategic Gun Reserve in Taiwan
By Spike
Taiwan -- U.S. defense officials have unveiled plans to build a Strategic Gun Reserve on the island of Taiwan.
However, a Strategic Gun Reserve might have the same problems as America's Strategic Petroleum Reserve.
Previous editions
- UnSignpost:UnSignpost/20220913 - September 13, 2022
- UnSignpost:UnSignpost/20220812 - August 12, 2022
- UnSignpost:UnSignpost/20220705 - July 5, 2022
- UnSignpost:UnSignpost/20220602 - June 2, 2022
How to became an admin in thirty days or less, or your money back
By OnePunch
I recieved a request to email Admin Romartus... from Romartus. I did so, and instead of being replied back with how I can help a Nigerian Prince and get a few million dollars, I was instead asked if I was interested in joining the Admin team. I then remembered something about how Spike said that there shouldn't be "more Chiefs than Indians", but since it didn't make sense for my locale (Australian), I said yes.
I am now going to answer some FAQs that I'm sure some of you might be thinking.
- Q: is this going to affect you writing funny?
- No.
- Q: since Spike has a ban stick, what is going to be your weapon of choice?
- I could use a cricket bat wraped in barbed wire, but I think it would be more appropriate to send vandals to Tasmania. That way, they can spend the rest of their lives thinking how they screwed up.
- Q: Weezer makes bad music, why do you like them so much?
- Banned.
Votes for Honours
As of this UnSignpost issue, there are two articles up that you can vote for. Although, the main voters have already placed their votes.
Suggestion Box
If you have any ideas or recommendations for future UnSignposts, please leave a message on OnePunch's talk page which can be found here.
Current Chief Editor: OnePunch
Former Chief Editors: Anton and ScottPat
Retired Founders & Co-Head Janitors: Dr. Skullthumper • Cajek
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