UnNews:Miss England to Miss World: I'm out

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We distort, you deride UnNews Wednesday, May 28, 2025, 20:50:59 (UTC)

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25 May 2025

Magee also complained about the dab of sealing wax the Indian hosts dropped on her forehead.

HYDERABAD, India -- Miss England has made history by withdrawing from the Miss World beauty pageant, the first to do so in England's 74 years there.

Milla Magee of Cornwall laid out her particulars during a pageant publicity event here, stating that organisers paraded her like a 'performing monkey'. Magee, lacking the simian prehensile tail, had done poorly in that role. Magee further stated that pageant officials in India made her 'feel like a prostitute', presumably by gazing at the face and body of a beauty contestant. And she said she was required to wear a ball gown even at breakfast, something that surely isn't Emily Post even if the morning temperature were to drop below 30°C.

The beauty Brexiteer's final complaint was that she was expected to sit with some of the 'middle-aged' businessmen who had financed the contest and 'entertain them for the entire evening'.

Magee, 24, tried to interest the businessmen in her social causes, including sorting rubbish into at least three bins to fight scary weather, also enforcing better dental hygiene in council homes. But the men simply engaged in small-talk that made Magee feel uncomfortable. Magee previously had advocated that the pageant ditch the swimwear round and let contestants shave their heads and wear T-shirts with deep, poignant messaging about global justice, ideas the pageant rejected. On 16 May, Magee quit the contest and let England's runner-up, Charlotte Grant, take Magee's place on the world beauty stage despite being from Liverpool.

Magee stated that her next hopeful career is to become a big-league athlete, as these are never expected to accept off-the-pitch duties to please financial backers. Failing that, she may become a maidservant to Meghan Markle.

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