UnNews:Biden drops out, Harris goes large
| Straight talk, from straight faces | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Thursday, November 21, 2024, 06:28:59 (UTC) |
| Biden drops out, Harris goes large | 
|
23 July 2024
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- American politics had its biggest shock since Pearl Harbor when President Joe Biden had his arm twisted conceded that he was too old for this world. Old Joe would be a one-term President after all. The end of Biden's campaign came in a brief post on X (Twitter) signed by copypaste, following a rushed evacuation from a Las Vegas rally and days of mysterious silence at his Delaware home.
There had been strong hints that Biden's health was crumbling (everywhere but the networks) but his medical staff had successfully pulled a lot of wool over a lot of Democratic Party eyes for the ancient President. Though Biden had been notorious for confusing people's names in the past, it was when Biden referred to Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelenskyy as Ivan the Terrible, and to his own Vice President as Donald Trump, that it became clear Biden's brain was winking out fast.
With Biden out, the VP, Kamala Harris (born Kamala Motown), has now been promoted as the only non-binary human who can stop Donald Trump and his new friend J.D. Salinger J.D. Beard from winning in November. Harris, a classic far-left radical Democrat, will now require a running mate. Since the Democrats operate a strict quota system on their candidates, they will have to choose from a list comprising one name. Step forward, George Clooney.
The Republican Party has complained that the Democrats pulled a fast one against their own candidate and living martyr Donald Trump. They are hoping the Supreme Court will rule against Biden hanging up his costume as Commander-in-Chief before Republicans could thrash him in the November election. Otherwise, their arsenal of attack advertisements on Biden will have to be junked.
Sources[edit]
- Staff "Kamala Harris will get a big bounce in the polls". Sky, July 23, 2024