UnNews:Europe
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-minute misinformation. |
European UnNews
- Papal proclamation to procure profit for prophet
- New Potter title: HARRY POTTER AND THE DEADLY FATAL MURDER DEATH
- Chancellor committed to preemptive war
- Lawyer falls to his death at Tate Modern
- "I love democracy" declares Palpatine
- FA Cup Football : Top 3 avoid each other thanks to Chief Ballwarmer
- Media Embarassment as Bird Flu Fails to Harm...Anyone?
- Harry Potter won't go to Iraq, and Ministry of Magic is divided by the decision
- Pope visits Brazilian drug "clinic"
- Pope John-Paul II announces candidacy for President
- Godless Europeans blast US technological dominance
- Baby dragon shocks owner
- Ankara destroys Armenian church
- Leading scientists declare global warming associated with Menopause
- Final Harry Potter book reportedly based on Sopranos finale
- Slow news day forces publication of story about supernatural beings in Brighton
- Bulgarian war criminal pardonned
- Rasmussen: "I didn't know weed was forbidden as well."
- Former Australian President Kurt Waldheim dies
- Broccoli voted best vegetable ever, food critics revolt
- Ahmadinejad steals Bush's watch
- Emos the world over voyage to Swiss death clinics
- Astronomical misunderstanding dictates season's fashions
- Notorious vampire Vinokourov expelled from Tour de France
- International Olympic Committee strips former female American Olympic athlete of medals, dignity, .... and clothing?!
- Believers see Holy Father in flames
- Bicycle presses charges for sexual assault against owner
- Scientists discover ten new planets
- Random Outcry as Young Boy Sneezes On David Cameron
- Errata 4 February 2008
- Cheese Addicts Go Crazy
- Savage Butter Knife Murderer Strikes Again
- High-speed train crash "not disasterous enough"
- Europe invades the iPhone
- Pope Mr Benedict Ratzinger XVI goes head to head with the Malaysian government
- Serbian babies need their bottle
- Medvedev feigns surprise after election victory in Russia
- Silverjet sacks entire workforce
- Pope's Exorcist Squads to Wage War on Satan
- Heathrow Terminal 5 open to failure
- Serial killer known as "Internet" now caught thanks to victim's brother's hint, trial to be held
- Russel Brand offends some Spaniard
- FARK YOU America and Europe, you're ALL faggots!
- Conflict breaks out down on the farm
- Computers Contract Hospital Virus
- Eidos reviews Eurogamer and OXM UK
- New penis developer 'a success'
- Martti Ahtisaari tapped for Peace Prize, world leaders pissed off
- Singer John Martyn Dies After Collision With Solid Air
- Nazi Time Traveller Arrested
- My country is better than your whole fucking continent!
- Cancer is racist
- Praying pilot jailed
- Scientists build thought-controlled wheelchair
- I Am Built Like a 'Horse' Claims Italian Prime Minister
- Increased sunspot activity cause for concern at Vatican
- Lexicographer's call for suspension of English Language
- Emperor's new clothes bedazzle fashion world
- Ronaldo Sells His Body To Real Madrid
- Political Leaders Agree To Lose Height As An Economy Measure
- Sea Shanties Get Modern Makeover
- Rafael Nadal Thinks He Disappointed Millions By Losing French Open
- Formula 1 Racing Announces New Teams for the 2010 Grid
- Love-rivals, 86 and 74, in vicious battle
- Bananas intercepted; Apes charged with smuggling
- Satanic front group convenes in Vienna
- Far right dissolve European Parliment
- Anti-atheist bus campaign launched
- Rare chair found in garage, sells for millions of dollars
- Girl's iPod explodes, Apple refuses to refund money
- Berlusconi undergoes major facial reconstruction surgery
- European airports reopen as airlines question ban
- Pope Benedict Tackled, Demands Rematch
- Greece destabilises Europe
- God gets pissed off over European Atheist and Secular Humanism Blows up Volcano in his anger
- Volcanic mess in Europe is all Obama's fault
- Former Primate of Utrecht Thomas Gibbon resigns in disgrace
- Cher's son now officially living as a Frenchman
- 99-year-old Nazi jailed for life
- Athlete stripped of medal at European Championship
- Scientists reveal chicken came before egg
- Russian Space Chief Announces Operation Ass Monkey
- Cyprus ex-President Papadopoulos resurrected, trying to revive allies
- Riots in Poland: We want promised miracles!
- Clinton, Merkel and me in a global war to destroy all men (and keep a few as sex slaves), by Harriet Harman
- Seventeen baseball players arrested in Poland; Cubans are shocked
- Chunnel trains halted by suspiciously mundane events
- Mercenaries release Somali pirates after ransom returned
- New Euro-homes made from recycled materials
- Pope appoints first non-human Primate
- Scientists baffled by random animal a-splosions in Berlin
- Sarkozy: GaDaffy Duck will be 'roast' in weeks
- Bruni denies saying, "Let them smoke crack"
- Paul is not dead
- Interview with an amateur abortionist
- Drunk guy experiments with booty tweets
- China buys Greece in junk yard fire sale
- Fairytale wedding in Monaco will really happen
- Polish Language Council's orthographic fail
- Soccer warlord 'not to face trial' in The Hague
- Argonauts between a rock and a hard place
- Signing delayed after Guitar Legend is attacked by man wielding mash potato
- Pope calls out Stephen Hawking
- Suspicious nuke discovered in French port
- Amsterdam releases Kraken with rampaging libido
- Guy Fawkes's euro account to be 'stressed tested' today
- FaceBook comments arrest terrifies trolls
- Statue of Hitler unveiled at holocaust site
- 'Lights Out' For Norway
- Elizabeth II named most powerful woman in the UK
- British lottery ticket prices rise to £2
- Roman Empire considers regulation of barbarian armies
- Britain advises citizens to leave Somalia
- Moody's downgrades Portugal from junk to dog shit
- Pregnant women warned to avoid contact with animals
- Everyone loses in British local elections
- Tesco sells horse meat in burgers
- Walk like a Cyclist
- Potential Teachers' strike causes panic
- NATO blasts hot air in the direction of Moscow
- Latest 'matyr' of bicycle hardxcore sex cult jailed for life following nationwide manhunt
- Icarus International Airlines to resume flying
- DC to get Yeltsin "underpants" statue
- Anne Frank story set to launch as comic book
- Livingstone's debt to the mob 'won't affect mayoral campaign'
- Leader of Ireland's Catholics says God is 'ok with kiddy fiddling'
- Carlsberg workers strike over limits on drinking
- Manchester United hold minute's silence for Robin van Persie
- Tom Boonen wins Paris-Roubaix cycling race while smoking a cigar
- BBC documentaries accused of ignoring gay animals
- Spain posing a late entry into the Eurozone financial crisis
- Entire UK population asks itself why it did nothing about Savile despite hearing the rumours
- British democracy discovered to be a hoax
- Queen Elizabeth II reveals diet tips
- Latveria adopts the Euro
- Scotland could possibly go to war with UK in event of independence
- Everybody nukes Greece
- Predatory choirboys abuse priest
- Ikea furniture found to contain traces of horse meat
- Ikea corraled into horse-meat scandal
- Axis of evil-doers to add pregnancy committee
- "Britain unrecognisable" claims UKIP leader Nigel Farage
- Cameron shows brief defiance to EU
- UK Parliament plays Musical Chairs
- Neutrino exceeds legal speed limit twice
- UnNews meets art expert: Great or fake?
- Horse refused service at McDonalds
- Ireland to legalize drunk driving
- UK Councils secretly filming rubbish
- EU elections divide Europe
- Lib Dem coup fails to make Clegg leg it
- English obscenity enters German language
- European Court: Fat is a disability
- Lionel Richie wants a roof over Britain
- British Prime Minister hails defeat of rebels
- Mean furniture hide before killing
- US and EU call on Abba to resolve Crimea crisis
- Merkel hails the fall of the Berlin Wall
- Greece demands war reparations
- Scottish campaigners request Australian help
- EU: No one is getting out
- Tsipras beats Merkel at Twister
- Sheep Marriage legalised in Wales
- Cameron scuppers EU deal for the UK
- Guilty: Paul Dacre looks stunned as appeal against press regulation is rejected
- Virtuosos hijack Banksy migrant boat
- Cameron achieves "grand compromise" with EU
- UK commences EU negotiations by imploding
- Russia lets Ukraine keep Chernobyl
- Ukraine's lost paradise Crimea becomes parking lot
- Journalist wins Belarussian lottery
- G20: Brexit could end life on earth
- Glastonbury crowd stockpiling urine for Kanye
- Anders Breivik wins appeal
- Europe to ditch €500 bills
- Greek crisis enters crisis phase
- UKIP to launch independent independence campaign
- EC solves Greek debt problem
- Ukraine army gets new uniforms
- Driver in Nice lorry attack revealed as Ms. Frizzle
- US to Europe: No blood, no foul
- UK divided on EU division decision
- UK bed-ridden by European election fever
- SE England under tourism flood-watch
- Queen Liz votes for Leith
- Olympic fever grips entire of Britain, many die
- Boston terrorists believed to be British
- Alfa Romeos to get even uglier