UnNews:Icarus International Airlines to resume flying

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A newsstand that's brimming with issues ✪ UnNews ✪ Thursday, November 21, 2024, 11:38:59 (UTC)
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20 April 2010

Replacement wax is supplied to all pilots.

ATHENS, Greece -- Icarus International Airlines have confirmed that they will be flying to again after a week being grounded by a problem of with 'too much sunshine'.

Ever since the sun started shining heavily this week, Icarus's fleet of unique feathered covered aircraft have been left inside hangers waiting for the rain to come. Stranded passengers all over Europe have complained or were seen flapping their arms in anger but the planes were not allowed out. One particular traveller, Retired fighter pilot Nat Byrdbrain who was visiting family and felons in London was particular upset at being left without a flight home to Spain.

This is health and safety gone mad, spluttered Byrdbrain. A little bit of sunshine and the airline wheels its aircraft under a plastic sheet until it clouds over. I say it shouldn't be upto to a bunch of aviation amateurs to tell me an Icarus plane well fall out of a sky if it gets too hot. I took risks in war and everyone who flies should understand the same risks.

The President of Icarus International Airlines, Daedalos Dandarius , said the his company's engineers has been problem 'unsolving' this issue for the last 2,000 years. However in this day and age of cheap flying , Icarus Airlines preferred to keep their planes in the sky and rake in the money instead.

We first became aware there was an issue when the founder of our airline company, Icarus Thisplaneiscrapadopulous, fell out of the sky one very hot day. He was as high as kite but that wasn't the reason Icarus he dropped like a stone. We think he had used the wrong sort of wax on the wings.

Despite the opinions of aviation experts, Icarus say they were sticking with 'feathers and wax' for the immediate future. Passengers would be issued with the necessary parachutes as a safety measure but as a low cost airline,Icarus would be charging extra for this facility.

Sources[edit]

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