UnNews:Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear
| Democracy Dies with Dignity | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Monday, December 30, 2024, 15:07:59 (UTC) |
| Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear | 
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16 July 2024
WIKIA CITY, California -- A deranged shooter opened fire on Uncyclopedia, thankfully only grazing one ear.
The attack occurred on June 29. The site had been silent since then, apparently closeted with aides and planning campaign strategy. System administrators offered a panoply of excuses, such as a car accident in which no one was hurt but everyone forgot the master password to Uncyclopedia's servers.
Prior to the outage, the site had been showing signs of incipient dementia, including resisting page edits and uploads of illustrations. A bold strategem of having Uncyclopedia respond to accusations of Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, or Fork Derangement Syndrome, by appearing in public to "dispel all doubt," were quickly beaten back and the site remained off-line.
Though matters appear to have returned to normal, Uncyclopedia dignitaries have begun passing the hat to purchase a second floppy disk drive. This would double the capacity for storing log files and presumably improve response time, compared to Never.
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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent. |