Uncyclopedia:Five pliers

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Blue check.svg This page is considered a policy on Uncyclopedia.

It has wide acceptance among editors and is considered a standard that everyone should follow, unless they don't want to, in which case they are free to ignore it so long as they're not being a dick. Please make use of the standing on one knee position to propose to this policy.

All of Uncyclopedia's 28 official pets and 35 arbitrary decisions are based on five pliers that pinch Uncyclopedia's character. These can be described as follows:

First pliers Uncyclopedia is an anti-encyclopaedia incorporating elements of general encyclopaedias, specialised encyclopaedias, and almanacs and basically turning them on their head. Uncyclopedia is not a mere collection of scripts from your favourite sitcom or Monty Python, nor a soapbox, newspaper, free host or web-space provider, vanity article or memorial collection, experiment in anarchy or democracy, or a grouping of links (whether internal or external).
Second pliers Uncyclopedia uses the "Satirical point-of-view": Write from a satirical, witty standpoint. A sense of proportion greatly aids in this, especially on controversial topics, and makes an article much more funny. When a conflict arises as to what version is the most amusing, be nice; hammer out your opponents on the talk page and avoid flamewars.
Third pliers Uncyclopedia is content-free: Uncyclopedia is content-free, licensed under the Creative Commons BY-NC-SA license and may be freely distributed and linked by all un-comrads. Recognise that articles are owned by the community at large and not by a single person or group so that any writing you contribute can be mercilessly edited and redistributed at will by the community. Because much of it is parody, Uncyclopedia is not quite as restrictive about copyright as Wikipedia but still acknowledge where you have stolen from by using the {{spork}} template for instance.
Fourth pliers Be civil and constructive: Respect your fellow Uncyclopedians even when they are (rarely) not being dicks. Avoid making personal attacks but sweeping generalisations are encouraged as long as you annoy everyone. Be responsible when the editing gets hot. We don't follow the three-revert rule; remember that there are 37,243 articles on the English Uncyclopedia to work on and discuss. Don't use sockpuppets (except for, well, <ahem>, uh...you know), and if you are still an IP user, create a login. Be devious, cold hearted, and above all, be funny.
Fifth pliers Praise Sophia besides the four general principles elucidated above. We are fairly free and easy here but the Cruft Patrol can be merciless; if your page is deleted, find out why and make sure your next page is funny! If you've been banned, don't do it again. If it's an honest mistake you can try to contact people some of the admins on the Uncyclopedia mailing list, although they reserve the right to unban you, immediately ban you again to crush your dreams even more, and then tell you to piss off if you've been a dick. If all else fails, there are things you're supposed to be doing instead of visiting Uncyclopedia.

See also

Spork.jpg This page was originally sporked from Wikipedia's "Five Pillars".