Uncyclopedia:Active Admins
Admins (or sysops) are Uncyclopedians with the power to delete pages, ban users, and administer other mayhem. The following Admins tend to respond when asked to help. (The rest of them are either dead, missing in action, or undergoing a sex change operation, which for many of them is their second or third.)
| Username | Attributes | Usual time zone |
|---|---|---|
| (talk) | Sysop, techie | Central US (UK - 6) |
| ❦ Llwy-ar-lawr • talk • contribs • | Mice? | East NA (UK - 5) |
 (talk)
|
Sysop | West US (UK - 8) |
OnePunch 
|
Sysop | AEST (UK + 10) |
 RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate)
|
Sysop, Bureaucrat, Weathered, Crumbling | Blighty (UK - 0) |
| -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. | Sysop, Bureaucrat, Simulation | West US (UK - 8) |
| Snarglefoop (talk) | Sysop, Server geek. If the site goes down, please let me know (leave a message on my talk page (jk hahah?)). | East NA (UK - 5) |
| Sog1970 (talk) | Sysop, Border Collie, sheep botherer | Blighty (UK - 0) |
| Spıke 🎙️ | Sysop, Bureaucrat, Canine (rabid) | East US (UK - 5) |
Mayhem for hire
If you would like an Admin to commit specific mayhem on request, your request must be public. You may have a favorite Admin; then again, he may be in jail tonight with orders to "sleep it off." It is best to send your request for mayhem to whomever is currently covering for him:
- To get an annoying user banned, go to Ban Patrol.
- To get an awful but established article deleted, nominate it at Votes for Deletion (VFD).
- To get an awful new article deleted — notably, one of your own ones — go to Quick VFD.
- For more time to improve an article that is being removed from mainspace, put this request on Votes For Deletion, along with your vote. If not on UN:VFD use the admin's talk page
- To get an article renamed — for example, to claim that an article that got moved into your userspace is no longer awful but is now ready for the main encyclopedia — request it at UN:RFM.
In each case, you must follow a rasher of picky little rules to the letter to keep the mayhem from being commited upon you instead.
Working with the Admins
Here is how it is: Simsilikesims is essentially your mom. She will give you cash to replace the neighbor's window that you threw a brick through, and will take you out for ice cream when you actually do so. Whereas Spike is your father. He will ground you for a week without editing, even though you have done nothing wrong, on the theory that the mere unpleasantness will eventually make you a better person. And like your real parents, the two of them are cordial to one another, though they do live on opposite coasts. But, Hell, flying transcontinental by yourself for a "visitation weekend" is cool.
You can take your chances with them, or pick one of the others, who are somewhere in between, in all respects except geographically.
All Admins are willing to help you get established and understand the rules, procedures, and traditions. There is also a cadre of people who have expressed their willingness to adopt new users. Admins grayed out in the above table have not checked in for a while. If you are an impatient type, you might contact a different one first.
If, beyond the additional hand-holding of being an adopted user, you want continual attention, we suggest either Illogicopedia or Encyclopedia Dramatica. If you also tend toward toilet humor and pranks, you might try Wikipedia, which has been lacking in both departments lately.
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