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Today's featured article – Kalamazoo

Kalamazoo is a nonexistent city in southwestern Michigan. The state government, knowing it didn't have enough goofy-sounding towns like Kalkaska, invented Kalamazoo just to amuse people stuck in more conventionally named places like Detroit or Paw Paw. And even if it existed, there would be no zoo in Kalamazoo. A small Nature Interpretive Center, perhaps.

No one should be fooled by the name. After all, Los Angeles has virtually no angels. Is New York new? That's another negatory, good buddy; though one can get mugged, which is often news. And New Mexico is certainly not in Mexico; there is a border inspection between you and Albuquerque, but the squeegee men on duty will let you pass without a passport. Similarly, Kalamazoo does not have a zoo. Hence, it does not exist.

Ypsilanti, on the other hand, does exist. And, given its South Side, it does not need a zoo. (more...)

Recently featured:

Previously featured article – Kalamazoo, Michigan

Kalamazoo is a nonexistent city in southwestern Michigan. The state government, knowing it didn't have enough goofy-sounding towns like Kalkaska, invented Kalamazoo just to amuse people stuck in more conventionally named places like Detroit or Paw Paw. And even if it existed, there would be no zoo in Kalamazoo. A small Nature Interpretive Center, perhaps. (more...)

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... that alligators sing to communicate over long distances with other alligators? (pictured)
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... that vandalism is fukcing queer haha gay?
... Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? GO AHEAD AND FART. NOBODY'S AROUND.
... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?

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On this day

The earliest rickroll video with Rickus Astlius of Sparta, recorded at around 475 BCE.

November 6: Spartan Rickroll Day

480 BCE - In the Battle of Thermopylae, the entire Persian army appears to attack at once but stops just short of the Spartan battle line. Rick Astley then emerges from the hordes and begins to sing. As it would be done far in the future, several well-placed javelins would settle the matter.
c.450 BCE - The first LOST episode originates from this date.
437 BCE - The first Krypton Factor episode, hosted by Gordonus Burnium XLIX, originates from this date.
212 BCE - Archimedes invents superglue but somehow manages to seal his front door shut with it, never able to escape to tell anyone about his discovery.
350 - Roman Emperor Constantine I imposes a ban on rickroll.
360 - Emperor Constantine's ban on rickroll is lifted: Julian just got rickrolled.
1064 - The earliest form of Euro-Uncyclopedia, is built in Normandy using menhirs and old Fernandel jokes.
1347 - God creates the Black Death to try to stop constant rickrolling.
1845 - Kate Austen travels back to this time and demonstrates a way to view rickroll videos without getting rickrolled. It is simpler than thought, yet it was Lost for many years.
1862 - At exactly 15:59 GMT for two hours, nobody in Colombia was in prison.
1942 - During the siege of Leningrad, Russian General Georgi Zhukov promises its people 'Never gonna give you up'. Astley would follow with 'Never gonna let you down' then quickly ducking out of sight before 4Chan snipers could aim and fire.
1997 - XNYAPHPCRUTGPL (X-Men's Not Yet Another PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor Clone Released Under The GNU's Not Unix Public License) is released.

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