UnNews:Epstein list emerges
| Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Thursday, August 21, 2025, 20:39:59 (UTC) |
| Epstein list emerges | 
|
26 July 2025
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump is denying he has ever known who Jeffrey Epstein was. Speaking to journalists and bloggers as he got off Air Force One in Scotland, the Leader of the Free World denied he was a friend of Epstein and that all mentions of him in the so-called Epstein files were "lies" cooked up by former presidents Barack Obama and Joe Biden.
"These so-called files exist, but were written by the previous administration to frame me for Jeff's eventual suicide. The FBI will be cuffing those Democrats for their lies."
According to insiders in the White House, extra supplies of White-Out were ordered to replace all mentions of Trump with former US president Bill Clinton. The files themselves are in boxes somewhere in the Department of Justice, or one of Trump's homes.
List[edit]
The Epstein list apparently includes the following:
Donald Trump- Bill Clinton
- Bill Gates
- Old Bill
- Prince Andrew
- New York's party circuit
- Stephen Colbert
- Elmo
- Mossad
Trump is suing The Wall Street Journal for publishing a lurid birthday card to Epstein with a crude illustration supposedly scrawled by Trump himself. Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt stated that Trump would sue anyone who tries to link his name to anything. Supporters of Trump say he is a victim of a witch hunt and that, like Jesus, he will be crucified if he is forced out of power.
Trump is currently in Scotland, where he has re-opened one of his golf courses. He said it was the best place to play the game and certain celebrities with a spare $500,000 could become members.
Sources[edit]
- Staff "Epstein list". The Guardian, July 26, 2025