UnNews:Burr and Hamilton to settle differences with a cage fight
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| Burr and Hamilton to settle differences with a cage fight | 
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10 July 1804
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- U.S. Vice President Aaron Burr and former Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton will go buckled shoe to buckled shoe in a wrestling bout tomorrow outside the White House. Aaron "The Bruiser" Burr and Sandy Hamilton will settle their differences, stripped to the waist and bare knuckles poised. Only men will be allowed to watch this fight; American gentlemen are expected to keep their wives securely locked away in the kitchen.
President Thomas Jefferson will be there as a judge and spectator. He has put out a statement that this muscular clash is a sign of how America is an exceptional country.
"If my colleague George Washington were still alive, he would have approved of this battle," Jefferson said. "Revolutions need a regular supply of blood and this one will add a few more pints. I urge my fellow white and male Americans to join us on the front lawn of the White House.
"An extravaganza like this might be pulled off better if there were a, say, ballroom in the White House," he added. "Of course, the President has no authority under the Constitution to do any such thing."
Burr inspired the imminent set-to by asking Hamilton to apologize for something he said about the Vice President at a private party. Hamilton has yet to respond; Burr could not be reached as he was visiting various of the city's gunsmiths.
Sources[edit]
- Staff "Cage Fight outside the White House". BBC, June 05, 2026