UnNews:Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus
| Truth doesn't "live here" — It's just camping out | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Thursday, December 25, 2025, 01:48:59 (UTC) |
| Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus | 
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24 December 2025
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- U.S. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth has defended his decision to order an attack on Santa Claus and his reindeer off the coast of Venezuela.
In a press briefing, Hegseth said advanced intelligence from top-secret suppliers had confirmed that Santa Claus had been seen driving a speedboat with his reindeer in an obvious attempt at drug-running. Hegseth had then ordered a drone attack but couldn't confirm if they had hit Santa's boat.
"We have no doubt that this so-called Santa Claus is actually a drug crime boss based in the North Pole", Hegseth said. "He had no reason to be anywhere near Venezuela. He is not carrying Christmas presents but cocaine. So if you're still alive Santa Claus, stop what you are doing. If children want presents they will have to buy American — say, from Amazon or Walmart."
From video footage released so far, it is not clear if Santa Claus or his reindeer were in the boat. Unconfirmed reports have said that Christmas wrapping paper and a discarded Santa costume were found floating near Trinidad along with some Hispanic elves.
Sources[edit]
- Staff "GOP Senators question attack on Venezuela". The Hill, December 24, 2025