UnPoetia:Main Page

roses are red, violets are violet, rhyme schemes and meter are a pain in the ass, screw youMain Page

Bust of Idiocrates Poetry is an art form in which language is used for its obfuscatory qualities in addition to, or instead of, meaningful and useful content. Poetry has a long history, and early attempts to define poetry, such as Aristotle's Poetics, focused on the various uses of speech in rhetoric, drama, song and charming the togas off of potential bed buddies. Contemporary poets, such as Dylan Thomas, often identify poetry not as a literary genre within a set of genres, but as noble way of remaining unemployed and virtually useless to society. Poetry often uses condensed forms and conventions to reinforce or expand the meaning of the underlying words or to invoke irrational or sensual experiences in the reader, as well as using devices such as assonance, alliteration and the rhythm method to achieve musical or incendiary effects. More about Poetry...

Recent Poems: The Catwoman in the Hat – First They Came – The Worst Poem Ever – Hampton Fruffleshire and His Fluffy Pants – Not An Oak Tree|Not An Oak Tree – The Twelve Days of Blitzkrieg – Putingrad – I Am American and I'm Really Pissed Off – The Glorious War of Independence – I Love the Smell of Gasoline – A Visit from Satanbear – Love Letter from a Strange Boyfriend: A Sonnet – Under the Table – The Judgement Day – Ten Little Porn $tars – Fuck you God – I am the Calculator – How crude! – Ode To McDonald's – Song of the sea pirates – When You Drive a Toyota – Hobbits Are Not Gay – Ode to Codeine's Mum – Birds of the Hair – Pi – Poems that don't rhyme – A Barbecue to Remember – Insulting Love Poem – My Face Is So Fat – Subliminal Poetry – Vanity – Paradise Abridged – Well-Oiled Birds – Self-reference reference – Unicorns – In Rangoon at the stroke of noon – Love Poem For The Cyber-Age – Ode to GTA IV – Vogon Love Poem – Little Boy – Little yellow spider – Couplet – Sonnet About Not Having a Muse – Haiku 457b – The First Draft of "Song of Myself" – Nobody reads UnPoetia! – The Apathy that is your Face – Abraham Lincoln's fair-weather waffle frolic – A Mind-Bogglingly Accurate Definition of the Modern Age – The Horrific Indifference of the Passage of Time – A Commie in My Closet – Isaiah – Your First Coming – Ode To Mrs Amanda McKitterick Ros – Shall I Compare Thee With Thy Mother, 'Ey? – Divorce Song – What is the matter with Mary Jane? – Do Not Shag Gentle During That Good Night – Tao Te Ching – Drunken Angst Directed at Girlfriend and those who care enough to cheer you up – Wuz da Nite Befo Crimmus – An Anthology of Baby and Midget Poetry – I Hate Rappers Who Cannot Rhyme – Archive - See more... Add New Articles>>

Selected poem Edit Whose house this is I think I know. She works down in the village, though. She will not see me hiding here, To watch her give a private show. I know my wife would think it rank, To hear about this monkey spank, But in this joy I must partake. I still require my daily wank. She gives her ample breasts a shake, And in my pants I feel an ache, So to my lust I do succumb, And free the prisoned garter snake. I gaze upon her unclothed bum, And wish, dear Lord, I could have some, Oh Mrs. Woods you make me cum! Oh Mrs. Woods you make me cum!Main Page Selected image Edit An unretouched photo of Billy Shakespeare. Quotes Edit "There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read UnPoetia." ~ Oscar WildeMain Page Things you can do Edit Well, writing a poem or two would surely help... Make a new poem Too lazy? Search for someone else's work:

Selected article Edit Poetic justice is when justice is carried out with poetry. In court, for example, the defendant, plaintiff, justice, lawyers and jury all have to perform the whole trial in poetry or in rhyming prose. Blank verse is not permitted. This can be done at the defendant's request (and amusement). Or, if the justice hearing the trial wishes it, whether or not the defendant wants it. The best poetic justices and lawyers are Vogons as their poetry, even in judicial language, is the 33rd best poetry in the galaxy. Appeals are rare, as appellate court judges can rarely bear to read the transcripts. You see, the poetry judges are all Vogons, and a Vogon's idea of what is good poetry is unlike that of any other member of any other race in the multiverse. Frankly, almost none of this is true. But I'm not telling what. More... Selected biography Edit Edgar Allan Poe was an American writer (1809-1849) best known for his cheery visions of a utopian future, and colourful tattoos. His best known poem, The Raving, is about an excitable crowd of Britney Spears fans tapping on his chamber door, rapping on his chamber door, and occasionally crapping on his chamber floor. This crowd of lunatics repeatedly chant the word "Nevermore", on the Night's Plutonian shore. The half-sane narrator grieves over the loss of his Lenore™-brand cleaning detergent: From my books surcease of sorrow, sorrow for the lost Lenore. For its rare and radiant colour, thats why angels use Lenore, Spotless clothes forevermore. Although he is often believed to have been the source of the phrase "po-faced", derived from "Poe-faced", in fact this term comes from the Po River in Italy, which is shaped like a man's face. More... Did you know? Edit Only 76.2% of all poets, living or dead, are gay. 16.7% are bisexual, 5.4% are in denial about it, and 1.7% are asexual. The remainder are, in fact, straight. If dark Romantic poetry were 60's and 70's American politics, Nathaniel Hawthorne would've been Lyndon Johnson, Poe would've been JFK, and Herman Melville would've been Dick Nixon. Haiku means urinal cake in French and Mexican. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem She Came & Went is about a dead baby. His daughter, but a dead baby none-the-less. At the age of 12, Charles Dickens used to work in a boot-blacking factory. Charles Dickens is the one who looks like Tim Burton. A "huckleberry finn" is a type of berry bush native only to Missouri. Geoffrey Chaucer was born on Retrocession Day (Taiwan). Don't Say Goodbye by Edmund Spenser is the longest haiku ever written, at a whopping total of four lines.

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