Portal:Society
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Society portal.
Explore the wondifferous world you live in! |
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Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor white, Christians . But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all.
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| This is the universe. You are beside the bright dot on the right, near the bottom. No, your other right. Your other bottom, too. |
Are you tired of being a small cog in the giant machine of what is, for all intents and purposes, an infinite and uncaring universe? Of course, we all are!
In fact, people have attempted to expand their minds and become a part of the bigger picture ever since the monkey lost its tail and grunted to itself, "Damn, now I'm all self aware and shit."
"But how do I, a mere newborn babe/small child/university student/accountant/elderly person just steps away from death's door, whose gaping maw is opened wide in anticipation of my ethereal etherealness, the insignificant mote of dust that is me, passing through its opening en route to what will surely be a depressing and disappointing eternity, attain oneness with the universe today?" you ask.
How, indeed. I honestly haven't a clue. Luckily for you, people far smarter than me have spent their entire lives trying to force their grasp to equal, if not exceed, their reach. Some have even succeeded, or at least that's what they tell me. But how do I know, really? They could just be messing with my head as part of their greedy plan to sucker me into shelling out $14.95 for a copy of their self-help book; one of many coincidentally and conveniently located in the Self-Help section of the bookstore....
| Archive | Article credit: Modusoperandi | (more...) |
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Imagine a world in which the sum of all human knowledge is in your hand.
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Society in the News
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| What the hell is wrong with this damn thing!? |
Lancaster, PA -- My name is Wilford Pissbritches and I'm 74 years old. I've got a bone to pick with you long-haired hippy kids. I've had this TV for as long as I can remember, and now, the goddamned thing won't work worth shit! All I get is some snowy crap, these little white dots and speckles all over this black background. The hell's wrong with this thing?
I am a widowed retired 'Nam veteran and McDonald's cashier, and the shit I go through ain't nothing compared to this hippy-happy nonsense. I tried bringing in my TV to Uncle Charlie's Salvage Emporium, only to find out that old Charlie had been dead for eight years and his grandson owns the store now. He's some spiky-haired punk named Fizz Chesterfield. He told me I need some fancy whoozits and whatzits, and I didn't know what in Sam Hill he was jawin' about....
| Archive | Article credit: PF4Eva | (more...) |
Quote of the Week
Did you know...
- ...that bad arguments are just as good as good ones? Because I said so?
- ...that there are people scared of being buried alive with fucking sharks?
- ...that letting other people do it is
- ...that walking is like running very slowly?
- ...that violence is the answer?
- ...that you're a burden to society?
- ...that necromancy is just another way of getting a date, and that you shouldn't judge me?
- ...that being at one with the universe is half as easy as being at two with the universe?
| ...Add to the list | (more...) |
Recent Articles in Society
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Topics in Society
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