Portal:Society
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Society portal.
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Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor white, Christians . But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all.
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| Jenny. Isn't she pretty? I mean disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. And a lesbian. Look at her with her creepy lesbian friends. You're obviously too good for her. |
So, Jenny, the girl you've been with for two years, the girl you took to Blockbuster and bought snacks for, the girl you swore you'd be with forever a long time, has just broken up with you. It wasn't because you were too needy or you were a stalker or anything crazy like that. She just said that because she was nervous. She was intimidated by you and your amazingness. You two just weren't right for each other; no, you were too good for her. Yeah, that's right. You're better than her. She wishes she was you. She wishes she could be as attractive to girls as you are. Yeah, she's a lesbian. That's why you broke up with her isn't it? Yeah, that's why. Exactly.
Yeah, the first thing you have to do is to is forget that Jenny exists. Except you can't actually do that because she doesn't exist. She never existed. Jenny's not even a real name. Yeah, those legs that went on forever never existed. That smile that you could see your reflection in never existed. Those eyes, those beautiful eyes, weren't even there. Neither was that cute little nose or the long, smooth hair, or the supple bosom, or the petite little ass. No, nothing was there, because she wasn't there, because she never existed....
| Archive | Article credit: CheddarBBQ | (more...) |
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Looking for protection for your stallion? Safe sex whilst getting your oats? Look no further than Trojan Horse condoms. For the serious rider. Available in "Large", "Extra Large" and "Ouch!".
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Society in the News
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| Aww... |
SAN FRANCISCO, California -- Earlier today a heroic attempt was made by San Francisco Fire Fighters as they braved a burning building to save two kittens. The kittens were found unconscious in the living room, surrounded by flame and smoke when two daring fire fighters lifted the kittens, broke down the front door with an axe and rushed the kittens outside where paramedics successfully revived the kittens. On a related note, Grandma may still be inside the building.
The kittens made a full recovery and were soon back on their feet drinking milk from a bowl, which received an approving "Awww..." from everyone present. The kittens are indeed very cute, both are brown with blue eyes and have, according to one neighboring resident, "the cutest little kitty faces" she has ever seen. A combined effort was made to wash and dry the kittens to get the soot off of their fur which later turned out to be a success....
| Archive | Article credit: Raliter | (more...) |
Quote of the Week
“The aim of stamp collecting is simple; the more stamps you lick, the more sex you get.”
- ~ From the article: Stamp collecting
Did you know...
- ...that in Russia, reversals reverse reversions?
- ...that being at one with the universe is half as easy as being at two with the universe?
- ...that violence is the answer?
- ...that you don't exist?
- ...that petting zoos are gonna get a whole lot more fun?
- ...that dropping acid while riding a bike is... OH SHIT!!
- ...that the cheese growing between my toes needs a rebuttal as soon as possible?
- ...that anti-intellectualism be good?
| ...Add to the list | (more...) |
Recent Articles in Society
HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics | Black sheep | Shit A Shitter Paradox | UnTunes:The Online Stalker Call from Grandma | Alternative Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous | Why?:You shouldn't take acid before riding a bicycle | High school: an essay by an old lonely man in a retirement home | Why?:Fight Club is a cop out? | Bad Directions | An Open Letter to the Cheese Growing in Between My Toes | Nursery | Tapheselachophobia | Let Someone Else Do It | Blacking Up | Dear Diary
Topics in Society
| Activities | Concepts | Philosophy | Relationships |
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