Portal:Society
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Society portal.
Explore the wondifferous world you live in! |
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Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor white, Christians . But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all.
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| Jenny. Isn't she pretty? I mean disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. And a lesbian. Look at her with her creepy lesbian friends. You're obviously too good for her. |
So, Jenny, the girl you've been with for two years, the girl you took to Blockbuster and bought snacks for, the girl you swore you'd be with forever a long time, has just broken up with you. It wasn't because you were too needy or you were a stalker or anything crazy like that. She just said that because she was nervous. She was intimidated by you and your amazingness. You two just weren't right for each other; no, you were too good for her. Yeah, that's right. You're better than her. She wishes she was you. She wishes she could be as attractive to girls as you are. Yeah, she's a lesbian. That's why you broke up with her isn't it? Yeah, that's why. Exactly.
Yeah, the first thing you have to do is to is forget that Jenny exists. Except you can't actually do that because she doesn't exist. She never existed. Jenny's not even a real name. Yeah, those legs that went on forever never existed. That smile that you could see your reflection in never existed. Those eyes, those beautiful eyes, weren't even there. Neither was that cute little nose or the long, smooth hair, or the supple bosom, or the petite little ass. No, nothing was there, because she wasn't there, because she never existed....
| Archive | Article credit: CheddarBBQ | (more...) |
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Ben & Jerry's introduces a new flavor, designed to help you relax.
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Society in the News
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| Cockpunching will not be featured. However, if you are interested, this is how you would do it. |
NEW YORK, NY -- Today, Central Park Zoo in New York City announced that it would be abandoning the concept of the "petting zoo" and replacing it with a new "punching zoo," in which small children will be allowed to punch, and otherwise abuse, small animals.
The move will likely revolutionize the petting zoo business, which has been steadily declining in recent years. The CEO of central park zoo, T.J. Abram, explains, "Nobody really cared about petting zoos anymore. I mean, seriously, why would any child want to be gentle and loving to a small animal?...
| Archive | Article credit: THE | (more...) |
Quote of the Week
“Freud would mumble on about it, then I would have to remind him - puff puff give!”
- ~ Oscar Wilde on the subconscious
Did you know...
- ...that Jesus stole my girlfriend? Yeah, she left a note on the fridge. Said he had a cool hippie look and sandals. That bitch.
- ...that Jesus stole my girlfriend? Yeah, she left a note on the fridge. Said he had a cool hippie look and sandals. That bitch.
- ...that dropping acid while riding a bike is... OH SHIT!!
- ...that being at one with the universe is half as easy as being at two with the universe?
- ...that dropping acid while riding a bike is... OH SHIT!!
- ...that God kills a kitten whenever someone reads an article on tired internet memes?
- ...that circular logic is good because I read it in an article on circular logic?
- ...that petting zoos are gonna get a whole lot more fun?
| ...Add to the list | (more...) |
Recent Articles in Society
HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics | Black sheep | Shit A Shitter Paradox | UnTunes:The Online Stalker Call from Grandma | Alternative Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous | Why?:You shouldn't take acid before riding a bicycle | High school: an essay by an old lonely man in a retirement home | Why?:Fight Club is a cop out? | Bad Directions | An Open Letter to the Cheese Growing in Between My Toes | Nursery | Tapheselachophobia | Let Someone Else Do It | Blacking Up | Dear Diary
Topics in Society
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