Portal:Society
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Society portal.
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Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor white, Christians . But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all.
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| Jenny. Isn't she pretty? I mean disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. And a lesbian. Look at her with her creepy lesbian friends. You're obviously too good for her. |
So, Jenny, the girl you've been with for two years, the girl you took to Blockbuster and bought snacks for, the girl you swore you'd be with forever a long time, has just broken up with you. It wasn't because you were too needy or you were a stalker or anything crazy like that. She just said that because she was nervous. She was intimidated by you and your amazingness. You two just weren't right for each other; no, you were too good for her. Yeah, that's right. You're better than her. She wishes she was you. She wishes she could be as attractive to girls as you are. Yeah, she's a lesbian. That's why you broke up with her isn't it? Yeah, that's why. Exactly.
Yeah, the first thing you have to do is to is forget that Jenny exists. Except you can't actually do that because she doesn't exist. She never existed. Jenny's not even a real name. Yeah, those legs that went on forever never existed. That smile that you could see your reflection in never existed. Those eyes, those beautiful eyes, weren't even there. Neither was that cute little nose or the long, smooth hair, or the supple bosom, or the petite little ass. No, nothing was there, because she wasn't there, because she never existed.…
| Archive | Article credit: CheddarBBQ | (more…) |
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Imagine a world in which the sum of all human knowledge is in your hand.
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Society in the News
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| Brubeck has been a journalist at the Arizona Daily Star for four years... |
The House, Somewhere. The man who lives in the house amazed onlookers today when, at about the time the sun came up, he woke up.
This life-changing event officially marked the end of a very boring period of time when it was dark and the man was asleep and there was nothing to do. It was horrible. I didn't think it was ever going to end.
But it did!!!!!
The man got out of bed and stood up, and I just about had a heart attack from excitement. I was so excited, I knocked him over!…
| Archive | Article credit: Hyperbole | (more…) |
Quote of the Week
“I've got painful raisins, it's some thunder on my chest.”
- ~ John Tesh on purple nurples
Did you know...
- …that shopping without a shopping list is like editing the "Did You Know" list without knowing what the fuck you're doing?
- …that walking is like running very slowly?
- …that the cheese growing between my toes needs a rebuttal as soon as possible?
- …that it's over thataway?
- …that picking up chicks is as easy as i, 0, e, π?
- …that picking up chicks is as easy as i, 0, e, π?
- …that the cheese growing between my toes needs a rebuttal as soon as possible?
- …that you're a burden to society?
| …Add to the list | (more…) |
Recent Articles in Society
HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics | Black sheep | Shit A Shitter Paradox | UnTunes:The Online Stalker Call from Grandma | Alternative Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous | Why?:You shouldn't take acid before riding a bicycle | High school: an essay by an old lonely man in a retirement home | Why?:Fight Club is a cop out? | Bad Directions | An Open Letter to the Cheese Growing in Between My Toes | Nursery | Tapheselachophobia | Let Someone Else Do It | Blacking Up | Dear Diary
Topics in Society
| Activities | Concepts | Philosophy | Relationships |
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