Portal:Society

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Society portal.

Explore the wondifferous world you live in!
Metaphorically speaking, of course.



Society is an abstract thought of people and culture as an entity, thinking and acting alike. It is the collective goal of humans which is always mistaken to have been achieved, thus subjecting its value and usage to degradation.
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Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor white, Christians . But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all.

All life on this planet is the intellectual property of Time-Life Magazine. All rights reserved.
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How to get over Jenny.jpg
Jenny. Isn't she pretty? I mean disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. And a lesbian. Look at her with her creepy lesbian friends. You're obviously too good for her.

So, Jenny, the girl you've been with for two years, the girl you took to Blockbuster and bought snacks for, the girl you swore you'd be with forever a long time, has just broken up with you. It wasn't because you were too needy or you were a stalker or anything crazy like that. She just said that because she was nervous. She was intimidated by you and your amazingness. You two just weren't right for each other; no, you were too good for her. Yeah, that's right. You're better than her. She wishes she was you. She wishes she could be as attractive to girls as you are. Yeah, she's a lesbian. That's why you broke up with her isn't it? Yeah, that's why. Exactly.

Yeah, the first thing you have to do is to is forget that Jenny exists. Except you can't actually do that because she doesn't exist. She never existed. Jenny's not even a real name. Yeah, those legs that went on forever never existed. That smile that you could see your reflection in never existed. Those eyes, those beautiful eyes, weren't even there. Neither was that cute little nose or the long, smooth hair, or the supple bosom, or the petite little ass. No, nothing was there, because she wasn't there, because she never existed....

Archive Article credit: CheddarBBQ (more...)
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Chill the Fuck Out

Ben & Jerry's introduces a new flavor, designed to help you relax.

Nominate stuff Image credit: RadicalX Image archive
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Society in the News

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Anatomy of a cockpunch.jpg
Cockpunching will not be featured. However, if you are interested, this is how you would do it.

NEW YORK, NY -- Today, Central Park Zoo in New York City announced that it would be abandoning the concept of the "petting zoo" and replacing it with a new "punching zoo," in which small children will be allowed to punch, and otherwise abuse, small animals.

The move will likely revolutionize the petting zoo business, which has been steadily declining in recent years. The CEO of central park zoo, T.J. Abram, explains, "Nobody really cared about petting zoos anymore. I mean, seriously, why would any child want to be gentle and loving to a small animal?...

Archive Article credit: THE (more...)
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Quote of the Week

Main Page Freud would mumble on about it, then I would have to remind him - puff puff give!

~ Oscar Wilde on the subconscious
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Did you know...

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  • ...that Jesus stole my girlfriend? Yeah, she left a note on the fridge. Said he had a cool hippie look and sandals. That bitch.
Did you know...
...Add to the list   (more...)
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Recent Articles in Society

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Topics in Society