Portal:Society
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Society portal.
Explore the wondifferous world you live in! |
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Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor white, Christians . But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all.
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| This is the universe. You are beside the bright dot on the right, near the bottom. No, your other right. Your other bottom, too. |
Are you tired of being a small cog in the giant machine of what is, for all intents and purposes, an infinite and uncaring universe? Of course, we all are!
In fact, people have attempted to expand their minds and become a part of the bigger picture ever since the monkey lost its tail and grunted to itself, "Damn, now I'm all self aware and shit."
"But how do I, a mere newborn babe/small child/university student/accountant/elderly person just steps away from death's door, whose gaping maw is opened wide in anticipation of my ethereal etherealness, the insignificant mote of dust that is me, passing through its opening en route to what will surely be a depressing and disappointing eternity, attain oneness with the universe today?" you ask.
How, indeed. I honestly haven't a clue. Luckily for you, people far smarter than me have spent their entire lives trying to force their grasp to equal, if not exceed, their reach. Some have even succeeded, or at least that's what they tell me. But how do I know, really? They could just be messing with my head as part of their greedy plan to sucker me into shelling out $14.95 for a copy of their self-help book; one of many coincidentally and conveniently located in the Self-Help section of the bookstore....
| Archive | Article credit: Modusoperandi | (more...) |
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Ben & Jerry's introduces a new flavor, designed to help you relax.
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Society in the News
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| Cockpunching will not be featured. However, if you are interested, this is how you would do it. |
NEW YORK, NY -- Today, Central Park Zoo in New York City announced that it would be abandoning the concept of the "petting zoo" and replacing it with a new "punching zoo," in which small children will be allowed to punch, and otherwise abuse, small animals.
The move will likely revolutionize the petting zoo business, which has been steadily declining in recent years. The CEO of central park zoo, T.J. Abram, explains, "Nobody really cared about petting zoos anymore. I mean, seriously, why would any child want to be gentle and loving to a small animal?...
| Archive | Article credit: THE | (more...) |
Quote of the Week
Did you know...
- ...that fight club is a total cop out of the highest magnitude?
- ...that there are people scared of being buried alive with fucking sharks?
- ...that violence is the answer?
- ...that every single person is unique, except you?
- ...that bad arguments are just as good as good ones? Because I said so?
- ...that every single person is unique, except you?
- ...that picking up chicks is as easy as i, 0, e, π?
- ...that circular logic is good because I read it in an article on circular logic?
| ...Add to the list | (more...) |
Recent Articles in Society
HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics | Black sheep | Shit A Shitter Paradox | UnTunes:The Online Stalker Call from Grandma | Alternative Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous | Why?:You shouldn't take acid before riding a bicycle | High school: an essay by an old lonely man in a retirement home | Why?:Fight Club is a cop out? | Bad Directions | An Open Letter to the Cheese Growing in Between My Toes | Nursery | Tapheselachophobia | Let Someone Else Do It | Blacking Up | Dear Diary
Topics in Society
| Activities | Concepts | Philosophy | Relationships |
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