Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

Creationist Views on Australia

“It exists. I've been there.”

~ Richard Dawkins on Australia

“Richard Dawkins has no more been to Australia than he has Narnia. In fact, if Dawkins did go to Narnia he would most probably be eaten by Aslan, who is, of course, a representation of the Lord Jesus Christ.”

~ Creationist on Richard Dawkins' supposed visit to Australia

“Jesus is not a lion.”

~ Clarification from Creationist

“But he could be if he wanted to.”

~ Further clarification from Creationist

Creation science contends that as Australia is never mentioned in any section of the Bible, it doesn't actually exist. “There's a stark choice,” states ChristianScience.net: “You either believe in the teachings of our Lord Jesus or you believe there is a place called Australia!”

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Highlighted Image

If McGuyver were a Messiah, this move would convince all infidels of his holy power to kick ass.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:Pudgic Bible

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Man who claimed to have found God arrested for wasting police time

• UnNews:Poor planning ruins Rapture

• UnNews:God found alive, well and working on a much less ambitious project.

• UnNews:Bush expected as Redeemer in the Holy Land

• UnNews:Pat Boone warns: "Christians, here come the lions!"

• UnNews:Hey, that guy, you know, the one on South Park, he's dead

• UnNews:In space, no one can hear the call to prayerl

• UnNews:Meditating monks accused of sleeping on the job

• UnNews:Satan arrested in Jerry Falwell death

• UnNews:Vatican decries "Miracle Bra"

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Quote of the Week

“That was Zen, this is Tao.”

~ Lao Tzu on The Hydrogen bomb.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Atheism (religion) - Beatlefication - Creationism - Determinism - Existence of God - Freedom of Expression - God Hates Australia - HowTo:Start a Religion - ITSCON - Jerry Falwell - Klestosapharot - Linguistic Creationism - Multi religion switching - Organised religion - Plan B - Qu'ran - Reasons to become an Atheist - Saint - Theology - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps - Voidism - Wheel of Deities - XBible 360 - Yenta -

Zephyr

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Allah's law - Brahmin - Celebrity - Discordianism - Eucharist - Feng shui - God: The Interviews - Hi-fi - It takes a good Muslim to work out good Islamic jokes - Jainism - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Mose - New atheism - Original sin - Passover - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Republican Jesus - Splenda - Theist - United Church of Awesome - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -

Zucchini