Portal:Religion
 |
Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
|
Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
Highlighted Featured Article
Fundagelical Christianity
|
This girl at my school is a Fundagelical Christian[1] or something like that. She always wears these shirts that say "God will save you" which I know is bullshit, because that God dude didn't do shit to save me from getting caught by the cops for putting that Hamster in the microwave at the gas station down the street. Hey, the sign said "Free for use", it's not my fault they didn't specify the use. And anyway, I don't see the need for handcuffs. It's not like it was my hamster in the first place.
Fundagelical Christians are also often seen with bumper stickers saying such messages as "Jesus loves you" and have that stupid little fish logo. They are responsible for any corny sayings with the word "Jesus" or "God" in them.
But I'm wandering from my main point, which is that Fundagelical Christianity is very confusing.
Highlighted Image
If McGuyver were a Messiah, this move would convince all infidels of his holy power to kick ass.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:The Nearly-Chaste Mormon's Guide to Quitting Masturbation
UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“If you don't agree with absolutely everything I say that means God hates you and you are going to Hell”
- ~ Fred Phelps on Everyone.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Angels - Bad Religion - Church of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc - DinoJesus - Eggnogsticism - First Communion - Great Commission Ministries - Hezbollah (Humanitarian Movement) - Islam - Jewish Dietary Laws - KoShare - Loki - Multi religion switching - Ninja-Pirate Assembly of God - Praise The Lord - Qu'ran - Cliff Richard - Santanism - The Great Flood - Unitarian Universalism - Virtue - Walkentology - Xristianity - Yenta -
ZephyrReligious Articles That Need Help
Adam - Baal - Chromosome 47 - Deity Election - Eucharist - Fuck it - Gud - Holy Market - It's hard out here for a pimp - Jeohovas witness - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Monk - New atheism - Original sin - Passover - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Rapist - Space Clowns - Theist - U2 - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -
Zucchini