Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

New Cooler Edition

Hey, kids, wanna hear something cool?! Listen up, 'cuz we're gonna talk about the coolest guy that ever lived...Jesus!

I'll bet you think the Bible is boring, right? Wrong! The Bible is the coolest Book ever written, and I can prove it! Did you know that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles helped save Noah's Ark during the Flood?! Or that Jesus rode a velociraptor into Jerusalem!? Or that robots from the future tried to stop David from defeating Goliath!? Well, it's all right here, in the New Cooler Edition of the Holy Bible! more...

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Highlighted Image

If McGuyver were a Messiah, this move would convince all infidels of his holy power to kick ass.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:Catholic Church's Version of Harry Potter

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Face of Jesus discovered on seabed

• UnNews:God Sues for Copyright Infringement

• UnNews:Ahmadinejad: Holocaust Was Really Big Gay Jew Sex Party

• UnNews:Chuck Norris on secularism: the single greatest threat that America has ever faced

• UnNews:Communion gets a makeover. Meet: ‘Jesus Cakes'!

• UnNews:Dinesh D'souza on the real problem with Newtonism

• UnNews:In space, no one can hear the call to prayerl

• UnNews:Man sues God; is smited

• UnNews:Seals of the Apocalypse discovered

• UnNews:American toy company seeks Muslim market share

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Quote of the Week

“To think I kissed her (or him) there--and there--and there'!”

~ Sarah Michelle Gellar on Baphomet.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Agnosticism - B4 - Coprophilia - Dark Lord - Evil - Father Christmas - Guy Fawkes - httpism - Irreducible complexity - Judyism - Klestosapharot - Loki - Mexican Jesus - N00bl3ss3 0bl1ghey - PgUp - Qu'ran - Reincarnation - Stairway to Heaven - The Seven Not-So-Deadly Sins - Unintelligent Design - Voidism - Walpurgisnacht - Xristianity - Yiddish -

Zombie Jesus

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Adam - Bonsai - Cthulhu v. Japan - Doomsday - Eastern Unorthodox - Fitna - God's masturbation - Hi-fi - Intolerance - Jeohovas witness - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Monk - New atheism - Original sin - Passover - Quakers - Ramayana - Shinto - Shirley Temple - Ultimate Question - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -

Zucchini