Portal:Music

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
UnTunesLogo1big.gif
Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal.

By far the most musical portal you will ever find.



Sound-of-music.jpg

To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews.

The word "Music" comes from two parts: Mute and sick, basically meaning if you don't mute it you get sick. Therefore generally speaking music are created to make people sick, either feeling high or dying.

edit 

Highlighted Article

Serj-tankian.jpg
OK, so, you're crying because the angel did something that warrants the death penalty. That's deep, Serj...

So you want to write effluvial lyrics like the official Armenian-American Lebanese-born Poet of the Overwrought, Serj Tankian of genre-challenged rock band System of a Down.

The first question to ask yourself up front is, whatever for? Have the countless critical articles about his inability to pull a well-crafted subtle lyrical image out of his ass told you nothing? If so, then this article is for you....

Archive Article credit: GlobalTourniquet (more...)
edit 

Music in the News

Lars Ulrich.jpg

At 11:43 last night, authorities were called to a home in California, where Theodore Seville, the drummer of Alvin and the Chipmunks, was found overdosed on a mixture of cocaine and sherbert. He was treated in hospital and discharged this morning, but his bandmates were furious and immediately fired him. In a statement, Simon said that "We have always been proud of having no drugs in this band, to the point where we refused to go on tour with The Jonas Brothers. For Theodore to undermine that is disgusting."


Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
...


Archive Article credit: Zombie gerbil (more...)
edit 

Featured Image

Paulrus

If John Lennon was the Walrus, then why is this Paulrus part of the Beatles exhibit at the Museum of Natural Science and History?

Nominate stuff Image credit: Zana Dark Image archive
edit 

Featured Artist

John Coltrane-4485.jpg
One of Miles' favourite things: Coltrane playing saxophone

Miles Davis was a jazz musician. He played trumpet. People say he's black, but that's because they're part of the predominantly white establishment who wanted to pigeonhole him into one category. Miles doesn't like categories, and he said himself: "I'm all races at once, baby. That's what fusion was all about, don't you know?" Throughout his long career, Miles also redefined jazz humour, by being the most humourless jazz personality to ever have existed. In effect, Miles taught his proteges that it was fine to ignore the audience while playing, not to announce tunes, and even turn your back to them (to be fair, a lot of audiences turned their backs to Miles when he started playing syrupy pop-jazz in the eighties). You might want to classify Miles' humour as "black comedy"....

Archive Article credit: Knucmo2 (more...)
edit 

Lyric of the Week

No, I'm not a stranger Look! I have an umbrella!

~ From the UnTunes song: You can stand under my umbrella (you can also feel my antenna)
(more...)
edit 

Featured UnTunes

UnTunes:Main_Page
UnTunes     

 
UnTunes:Still Hurting
PLAY>MP3


So, after I broke up with Jenna, I was thinking, you know, just because we're broken up, that doesn't mean we shouldn't share our deepest feelings with each other, right? Chicks love that emotional shit.

So I wrote her this song about, you know, how much I miss her and how she makes me feel. I bet she'll be calling me any minute asking me to take her back.

Still Hurting

Well I'm still hurting so I'd be happy if you were hurting too.

Is it so much to ask that someone you love

be in constant unrelenting pain?


And I hope you stay up nights thinkin' of me

or maybe just lose your keys

So I'm waiting by the phone for you to call

and tell me, girl, that you misplaced your keys....

Archive Musical credit: Hyperbole (more...)
edit 

Recent Articles in Music

edit 

Musical Articles by Genre

Classical Country Genres of Music Hip Hop / Rap


Jazz Popular / R&B Rock (General) Other Musical Articles