Portal:Music

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal.

By far the most musical portal you will ever find.



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To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews.

The word "Music" comes from two parts: Mute and sick, basically meaning if you don't mute it you get sick. Therefore generally speaking music are created to make people sick, either feeling high or dying.

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Highlighted Article

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If you make a band, you can be as cool as these guys!

Bored during your holidays? Can't get the girls? Got a lot of money? Are you standing around in an empty garage with a bunch of other people all of whom are looking at you as if wondering what you're going to do next? Well then...

Why don't you start a Band?

Yeah, you won't be very good, but it stops you from being bored, it will waste your money (better than spending it on drugs), and you'll have a 1% increase of getting a girl (but only if you play a tuned instrument.)…

Archive Article credit: Braydie (more…)
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Music in the News

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Standish, ME, USA (USS) - Eyewitnesses say the once world famous rock band KISS has ruined another high school graduation. Parents report that students at Bonny Eagle High School were lining up to get their diplomas, when all of a sudden the rock band KISS "walked in and screwed it all up".


Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
One student was walking across the stage towards the principal when the band kicked down the door, fell all over a bunch of chairs, then drunkenly told attendees that "KISS is back, and we're still rocking all night, every night!"…


Archive Article credit: The Woodburninator (more…)
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Featured Image

50 Mozart

Is it really him? (A grue just appeared.)

Nominate stuff Image credit: Marinos Image archive
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Featured Artist

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Bowie's crooked grimace changes quickly when the Doctor explains that things "won't be working quite the same again"

David "give it here" Bowie (January 23 1889 - August 12 2016) is the pseudonym of former London second-hand car salesman David "Yeah, course it has an MOT" Jones. His chief claim to fame was his portrayal of a bi-sexual Alien in the early seventies.

He has largely continued an unsuccessful career to the present day though bit parts in mediocre films and jumping on the latest bandwagon in Music.…

Archive Article credit: Sycamore (more…)
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Lyric of the Week

No, I'm not a stranger Look! I have an umbrella!

~ From the UnTunes song: You can stand under my umbrella (you can also feel my antenna)
(more…)
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Featured UnTunes

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UnTunes     

 
UnTunes:I Like Cats (The Other White Meat)
PLAY>MP3

I Like Cats (The Other White Meat)


I'm what you might call an animal lover

Horses, kangaroos and chimpazees

But dogs and birds and fish don't satisfy me

For cats they are the sweetest, you see.

Chorus:

I like cats with mustard

I like cats with chili cheese

Cat sausages, cat fricassee

Won't you try some cat chili?

I think that cats are great to eat…

Archive Musical credit: Todd Lyons (more…)
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Recent Articles in Music

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Musical Articles by Genre

Classical Country Genres of Music Hip Hop / Rap


Jazz Popular / R&B Rock (General) Other Musical Articles
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The Beatles
John Lennon | Paul McCartney | Pete Best | George Harrison | Ringo Starr | The Fifth Beatle | Yoko Ono
Albums
Thank Thank You (1962) | Without the Beatles (1963) A Hard Gay's Night (1964) | Beatles For Sail (1964) | Hell! (1965) | Revolter (1966) | Revolver (1966) | Sgt. Lt. Pepper's Only Lonely Hearts Club Bandana (1967) | Ringo Needs Some Money (1967) | Tragical Mystery Tour (1967) | The Beatles: Ecological Number Ones (1968) | The White Album (1968) | Yellow Submarine (1969) | Flabby Road (1969) | Let It Be (1970) | The Beatles: Fab 60s Hits (1970)
Related articles
Beatlefication | Beatlemania | The Beatles In India | British Invasion | Liverpool | "Paul is dead" hoax | Paul is undead | McCartneyism | The Revolution: A history | Maxwell Edison | BBC | Beatles About | The Beatles Tribute Band | Mark David Chapman | UnNews:John Lennon denied resurrection for fourth time | The Rutles
Notable songs
"Back in the U.S.S.R." | "Hey Jude" | "I Am the Walrus" | "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" | "Why?:Don't we do it in the road?" |