Portal:Music
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal.
By far the most musical portal you will ever find. |
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To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews.
The word "Music" comes from two parts: Mute and sick, basically meaning if you don't mute it you get sick. Therefore generally speaking music are created to make people sick, either feeling high or dying.
Highlighted Article
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| National Treasure John Peel on wonderful Radio Caroline. |
"Wugga, wugga and welcome back the Perfumed Garden Psychedelic Special hastily assembled because Dave Lee Travis appears to have fallen overboard and been harpooned by whalers. In the finest traditions of Pirate Radio I'm wearing an eye-patch and cutlass and you may be able to hear my parrot Syd squawking in the background. But tonight's show is brought to you live from my living room at Peel Towers due to car trouble stopping me getting to the ferry out to good old Radio Caroline. Let's hope the rozzers don't nick me! I say car trouble; I mean of course that the inside smells so badly of fish that it's impossible to spend more than a minute inside without gagging - a bit like attending a Peter, Paul and Mary gig. Actually, I'm fairly certain that Tony Blackburn has nailed a mackerel somewhere under the dashboard but that's not going to stop me playing the rather excellent "Arnold Layne" by The Pink Floyd....
| Archive | Article credit: Funnybony | (more...) |
Music in the News
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| "What?" |
VIENNA, Austria -- At a dinner party planned by his live-in girlfriend and attended, for the most part, by her friends, Ludwig van Beethoven admitted to the one friend he was allowed to invite that he hears just fine, thank you very much.
"Feigning a state of deafness is the only way I can get time to myself to make music." he said, between sips of brandy from his favorite pewter mug, "Before, it was all 'Blah, blah, blah. Wiggy, you need to listen to me. Blah, blah, blah'. I'd just get through the 'Dah-dah-dah dum' and she'd come clomping into the room to unburden herself of a lengthy monologue about my abysmal taste in personal attire, or about how she saw the most wonderful material for new curtains during her latest foray into town. Now I can get some peace, at least. I'm up to 'Dah-dah-dah, dum. Dah-dah-dah dum' now...it's a work in progress"...
| Archive | Article credit: Modusoperandi | (more...) |
Featured Image
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If John Lennon was the Walrus, then why is this Paulrus part of the Beatles exhibit at the Museum of Natural Science and History?
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Featured Artist
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| Bowie's crooked grimace changes quickly when the Doctor explains that things "won't be working quite the same again" |
David "give it here" Bowie (January 23 1889 - August 12 2016) is the pseudonym of former London second-hand car salesman David "Yeah, course it has an MOT" Jones. His chief claim to fame was his portrayal of a bi-sexual Alien in the early seventies.
He has largely continued an unsuccessful career to the present day though bit parts in mediocre films and jumping on the latest bandwagon in Music....
| Archive | Article credit: Sycamore | (more...) |
Lyric of the Week
“I'm a lesbian who uses his wand in a very special way butt butt butt.”
- ~ Harry Potter, from the musical: Harry Potter and the Inevitable Musical
Featured UnTunes
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| PLAY>MP3 |
I Like Cats (The Other White Meat)
I'm what you might call an animal lover
Horses, kangaroos and chimpazees
But dogs and birds and fish don't satisfy me
For cats they are the sweetest, you see.
Chorus:
I like cats with mustard
I like cats with chili cheese
Cat sausages, cat fricassee
Won't you try some cat chili?
I think that cats are great to eat...
| Archive | Musical credit: Todd Lyons | (more...) |
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