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AAA is, was, and always will be, without question, the greatest video game player on Earth. Known only by the three initials he uses on arcade high score lists, he has left his ubiquitous mark in the RAM chips of countless motherboards. He both owns and has played every single video game in the universe, including the superintelligent ones developed by the Pentagon that suck you into a Tron-like cyberspace where you fight to the death against the CPU itself. He has killed approximately 12 video game CPUs in this fashion.
Among other accolades awarded to him, he has a cylindrical battery cell size named after him as well as an automobile organization.
It is not known exactly what AAA looks like, as he is understandably reclusive. Conflicting eyewitness reports of a skinny twenty-something Korean with stubble, a pasty-faced former Atari beta-tester, and even a six-foot-tall bearded Eastern European have all at some point been attributed to AAA. It is clear that unless he ever chooses to publicly reveal himself, we can only continue to speculate. Personally, I think he is a tall, Asian, stunningly handsome, single, twenty-something, well built hunk. Sigh. Unfortunately the odds are that AAA is a small Japanese boy with a ridiculous amount of talent at DDR. Most of the time, he wears a hood to hide his face. Scary. (more ...)
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...An ancient and dangerous sport from which modern day curling is derived, the Kitten hurling battle originated in the steamy jungles of what is now Quebec as a mating ritual of the Aztecs.
...Rock, Paper, Airstrike is a popular children's game where 2 or more children gather in a circle and make obscene hand gestures at one another in an attempt to win the game. The rules are surprisingly complex for such a simple children's game, yet it remains a game that children enjoy the world over.
...Getting banned from the Internet means getting your IP address removed, and your modem, computer, and any storage media that you have confiscated without trial. You will also lose your driver's license permanently, go to jail (...directly to jail! No passing go, no collecting $200), be forced to have a philosophical conversation with Neil Young, be slapped in the face with a Hello Kitty Vibrator, and cast into the outernet.
...Bloodbath is popular sport played worldwide.
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