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Internet is a MMORPG played on a heavily modified text adventure engine. It is the second game in the Really Big-Ass Networks series. With over 1 billion players, Internet is the most popular MMORPG, easily beating stupid shit like Run-Escape.
Through Internet's text description-based technology, players can create any character they want. Many players use this feature to create characters that would be considered absurd by real life standards. The average Internet character has some impressive stats:
- IQ: 251
- Max bench press: 932 pounds
- Death rate: 4 characters per decade
- Penis: Blue Whale
- Favourite kids' TV programme: Pob
These stats are actually a lot lower than most players have. This is because some players instead create characters intended to represent a person that player hates, such as a mother-in-law or a politician, and give the character low stats and have the character fail miserably in very public settings. For example, there are an estimated 10,000 George W. Bush characters in Internet, each of which has no stats and no achievements, and most of which do nothing but have cybersex with Dick Cheney characters. In early 2003, this method of defamation became widely accepted as a legitimate tactic in logical debates. (more...)
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Did you know that:
...There are several pee reviews that need a doing.
...Metal Gear Solid (Metal Gear Solid!?) is a tactical espionage action game and the first game in the Metal Gear Solid series. It was written and directed by Hideo Kojima (Hideo Kojima!?); and has received critical acclaim for its innovative gameplay, cinematic tone, redundant dialog, lengthy codec conversations, and other things that interrupt and then distract the player from the game.
...Look, what I'm trying to say is, I've seen shit. I've seen some nasty shit. Shit that would make you want to pry out your eyes with a crowbar. But all that stuff is nothing compared to the life I've lived. You see, I've been pushed into bananas while playing Mario Kart. After you've experienced that, "two girls one cup" seems like a Disney movie.
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