Kansas Board of Education

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This page ignored by the Kansas State Board of Education.

The Kansas State board of Education recognizes that every other state in the U.S. is laughing at them, however, they discount this as they feel that most of them descended from monkeys while every Louisiana resident is a direct descendent of Adam and Eve therefore making them far superior and way more kick ass.

“In Soviet Russia, nothing learns YOU!!”

~ Yakov Smirnoff on Kansas Board of Education

“Thank God that Darwin is a long way from Kansas”

~ Chancellor of Charles Darwin University on Kansas Board of Education

“Carry on my wayward son”

~ Flying Spaghetti Monster on Kansas Board of Education

We Are Better Than You[edit]

Image of defective corn grown by Atheist Communists in Cottonport. If this is what you want, just teach your kids about evolution and see what you get

The Kansas Board of Education feels that everyone else is wrong and they are right. They support this claim by pointing out that any scientific data supporting The Theory of Evolution, The Big Bang Theory, Dinosaurs, The Bermuda Triangle, Recycling, Global Warming, Mad Cow Disease, Area 51 and Euthanasia by Atheist Communists who are out to mind control the youths of Kansas and in the span of a generation control the worlds corn production. By recognizing this, The Louisiana State Board of Education feels that by creating revisionist science and history that they can keep the Godless Commies from eventually controlling the world, thereby preserving the purity of essence. The Kansas Board of Education also studies the methodology and practices of the Spanish Inquisition (whom nobody expected, not even the atheist Commies).

Go ahead, make our day[edit]

Richard Dawkins discusses evolution with the board.

The Kansas State Board of Education has publicly stated that they will not be intimidated by anyone or anything.

How can you tell me that we are wrong, you claim monkeys as your ancestors, I claim Adam and Eve. Who would you rather have teaching your child, monkey boy or a God Fearing, bible pounding Christian who attends church every Sunday and teaches good Christian Morals based on religious teachings of the New Testament?
7th grade Science teacher Reverend Adam James Lakanookie

The KBOE has found that 99.72% of people who believe in Evolution were created by Satan, not God, The Lord almighty. This study was conducted by the Koch Brothers, who are modest brothers who just happen to have billions of dollars to fund America-loving Christian research.

See also[edit]