Morals

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“Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.”

~ Oscar Wilde on morality

The Morality Cycle.png

Morals are an overrated incentive to behave well. The incentive is that when you die you will have a large group of meaty virgins you can screw for all eternity. There is an obvious problem that one month after you arrive in heaven all your virgins will be, well, devirginised. A rather less obvious problem is whether the virgins find it heavenly to be deflowered by you. And futhermore, heaven seems to exclude gay men and straight women.

Morals are only available to hard line religious fundamentalists because atheists believe that Athe does not let them into heaven.

Morals are actually given to us mere mortals by whichever particular God we happen to worship. Here is an example of a Christian, whom we shall call Brian Flemming, protesting a program in which an atheist claims she does in fact have a strong moral conviction:

You’ve definitely got some nerve. I’d love to take a knife, gut you fools, and scream with joy as your insides spill out in front of you. You are attempting to ignite a holy war in which some day I, and others like me, may have the pleasure of taking action like the above mentioned.

However, GOD teaches us not to seek vengeance, but to pray for those like you all.

I’ll get comfort in knowing that the punishment GOD will bring to you will be 1000 times worse than anything I can inflict. The best part is that you WILL suffer for eternity for these sins that you’re completely ignorant about. The wrath of GOD will show no mercy. For your sake, I hope the truth is revealed to you before the knife connects with your flesh. Merry CHRISTMAS!!!

Some people may protest that threatening to cut somebody’s chest open to cause their “insides” to fall out, and then telling that person that the very God that advocates these morals will inflict punishment 1000 times worse than a human can is not an example of very moralistic behavior; from the man who said this, or from God. The person who wrote this has since clarified that the sentence “However, GOD teaches us not to seek vengeance, but to pray for those like you all” was the sentence demonstrating the individual’s moral convictions, and the rest of it was written while he was drunk.