It takes a good Muslim to work out good Islamic jokes

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This article's title originally had a dot at the end of it. This culturally incongruous dot has been removed and placed on the forehead of an Indian (i.e., an "India-Indian").

There are two main methods of working out good Islamic jokes using a good Muslim.

The "recipe" method[edit]

If you've done it right, it should come out looking something like this.

1. Take one good Muslim. Put him on a treadmill.

(Wikipedia ISNOT a cookbook.) (ISTOO!)
See Wikipedia#Wikipedia Isnot/Istooisms

2. Take a cup of flour. Sprinkle it under the feet of the Muslim.

3. Take a virgin. Clone her 71 times *. If you took all the cloned Muslim virgins **, and laid them end to end, they would be more comfortable.

4. Collect the flour that has been "worked out" by the good Muslim. Place it in a cheap Fold-N-Flap sandwich bag (not one of those expensive Ziploc bags, they're too expensive) and refrigerate it for two hours.

5. Remove the bag from the fridge and microwave it for 60 seconds at Level 7. (If you don't understand what the point is in refrigerating something you're just gonna microwave two hours later, ask Alton Brown.)

You have now created a good Islamic joke, ready to eat. Suck it out of the bag, saying, "Noi-ing, Noi-ing, Noi-ing." (Rinse the bag (you can reuse a bag twenty times if you're careful) and repeat.)

* If you do this wrong, you will discover that your virgins are in fact seventy-two middle-aged men of rather cuddly disposition, living in their mothers' basements, with extensive collections of Star Trek videos. Congratulations! You get to spend eternity with them!
** And which one is the Trekkiest? Is it Charles? Is it Lionel? I'll never tell. Start cuddling with each of them in their turn, and discover for yourself.

Okay, now this looks a lot better!

How do you like it now?'

Level of Difficulty[edit]

Some say that it is hard to find a good muslim, so keep looking. Introduce evil muslims to Loke and his Change Management skills, and he can convert them into good muslims, although sometimes he changes them into secular muslims, or christians, or even God-Fearing Republicans because the theory of change says that he can if he so chooses to.

Once you find a good muslim, or convert an evil muslim into a good muslim, you can try the other methods. Just be careful not to switch the Qu'ran, for the Holy Bible: Revised Liberal Edition, or you might cause another war or something. If you cannot find a good muslim, try a cylon muslim instead.

Test Subject Matter[edit]

Question: What's a Hindu?
Answer: Lays eggs.....

One Long Joke: How Fatima Started Islam[edit]

The new satire published by is entitled "How Fatima Started Islam: Mohammad's Daughter Tells It All". Did you know that Mohammad was a stupid, alcoholic pimp who doubled as Mecca's village idiot? Sample pages and cover pictures of Fatima and Mohammad are available at Also: according to the book in ancient Arabia Mo was in business with two twins named Osama & Obama.

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

  • Islamic Humour [1]