UnNews:Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Straight talk, from straight faces ✪ UnNews ✪ Thursday, August 21, 2025, 16:50:59 (UTC)
Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA UnNews Logo Potato.png

12 August 2025

The new franchise is taking the league to new heights.

MOHEGAN SUN CASINO, Connecticut -- The Women's National Basketball Association (WNBA) is seeing its season dominated by the Flying Dildos.

That is the nickname of the team based at this Connecticut casino, though it is rumored to be for sale to one of the minority owners of the Boston Celtics, who intends to move the team to that city notorious for sexual expression.

The women's league has languished for years as a showcase of gangsta culture, with taunting, trash-talking, cat-fights including kicking and scratching, and the occasional fast-break score. That briefly changed last year with the Indiana Fever's signing of Caitlin Clark, who by all accounts is not only white but normal. Attendance and television viewership surged as it appeared the signing might transform the WNBA into a venue for quality athletics. However, when the Fever's championship drive fell short, fan interest and athleticism reverted to form, again falling beneath cheese-rolling as an attraction.

This apparent sex toy was thrown onto the court at a recent game between the Dallas and Indiana WNBA franchises.

This year, the league has a new theme, centering on the dildo, a perfect fit for a league that emphasizes doing things without men. Fans are getting into the act, tossing plasticware onto courts during games. Players warn that tossing any object onto the court during a game carries risks ranging from ankle sprains to the stigma of stereotyping women. Retired legend Diana Taurasi stated, "I would have thrown that thing right back at them." One such attempt almost hit a child; the league statistician classified this as a bad pass. However, much like a basketball used to score a rookie's first goal, most team managers will confiscate the toy and set it aside for later use.

Commercial tie-ins to the new fad are obvious. Nearby sex shops could see their sales boosted, and one memecoin has taken interest in "guerrilla marketing" off the fad. Reportedly, the entire 2026 season will be sponsored by hardware manufacturer Snap-On Tools.

Sources[edit]

Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=UnNews:Flying_Dildos_dominate_the_WNBA&oldid=6225364"