UnNews:Hegseth orders attack on the Moon

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Democracy Dies with Dignity ✪ UnNews ✪ Thursday, April 9, 2026, 10:49:59 (UTC)
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6 April 2026

Uncle Sam flies in.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- U.S. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth has ordered an attack on the Moon to prevent Iran from testing their missiles.

In a surprise move, Hegseth defended his decision to send American planes to the Moon to crush all future bases that could threaten the United States.

"We had to go in, as we told by Mossad that Iran had developed missiles made of nuclear cheese. It was that or wait for those devils to send something very stinky."

Hegseth showed a series of slides to the Pentagon press briefing cubicle. Other material included video snuff movies and the Secretary of War propping up a bar.

"We have destroyed Iran's space program, and all the clerical robes that belonged to the ayatollahs. They won't be needing them as those fanatics are DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!"

When asked if it was overkill to start bombing the Moon, Hegseth added he was also planning to test missiles against Mars.

Sources[edit]

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