UnNews:John Bolton is indicted
| We have met the enemy, and he is us | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Friday, October 17, 2025, 17:02:59 (UTC) |
| John Bolton is indicted | 
|
16 October 2025
GREENBELT, Maryland -- John R. Bolton, a top aide in the first administration of Donald Trump who went on to become a large, hirsute thorn in Trump's side, was indicted Thursday.
A federal grand jury in Maryland charged Bolton, 76, with eight counts of transmission of documents, 10 counts of retention of documents, and one count of having a truly ridiculous mustache.
The documents, whether take-away or eaten-in, had TOP SECRET status. Prosecutors said it is always awkward when the government is investigating Iranian hackers and discovers they had secret U.S. documents because the President's National "Security" Advisor was emailing them to relatives through AOL.
Bolton, a nominal Republican, has hired noted Democratic Party attorney Abbe Normell. Abbe achieved notoriety defending U.S. President Bill Clinton against physical evidence (ew!) submitted by Monica Lewinsky, and most recently defended bank-rate regulator Lisa Cook against charges of bank fraud. Abbe stated that Bolton was only writing a diary, as public servants often do, sending daily drafts to dear relatives, as even J.R.R. Tolkien did, using non-government servers, as even Hillary Clinton got away with, and preparing to write a tell-all book kneecapping his boss the President, as virtually everyone does. "No blood, no foul." The book became The Room Where I Connived to Ruin Trump. That room is apparently the lavatory down the hall from the Oval Office, where much of America's history came to pass.
Notably, Bolton was taken into custody without a pre-dawn raid on his personal home by officers with orders to shoot, without SWAT teams and amphibious vehicles surrounding the locale to prevent escape, without like-minded media networks tipped off in advance and rolling as the lawmen advance, and without being frog-walked the entire length of Main Street as the public gawks. These departures from established practice are sure to be controversial; if not, UnNews will simply try harder.
Bolton follows New York Attorney General Letitia James and former FBI Director James Comey as critics of Trump who happened to be guilty of offenses resembling those they charged Trump with, who have suddenly found themselves on the wrong end of a bill of particulars, a phenomenon Peyton Place fans call a "come-uppance". This will raise questions of Trump's sanity, maturity, and respect for the classic rule of "honor among thieves."
However, U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi denied the indictment reflected retribution. "No one is above the law," she said. "Well, except perhaps well-connected clients of Jeffrey Epstein."
Sources[edit]
- Dan Mangan "John Bolton indicted; ex-national security advisor is latest Trump foe to face criminal charges". NBC, October 16, 2025