From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
George Bush's "other" brother, a day or two before what would have been his 4th birthday.

Intelligence is a natural ability mostly found in children, and is probably the single most important threat to Civilization.

Historical Perspective[edit]

The History of Intelligence is comprised of two main eras: the history of its Origination and Development which probably took millions of years, and the History of Civilization, i.e. the gradual elimination of Intelligence which is much shorter, measurable in thousands of years. Also known as something that |NWO| Xerxes hasn't got.

Intelligent people tend to read prodigiously at a young age.

Humanity's first successful attempts at controlling this threat to human society took the form of organized Religion. As Civilization progressed, the use of Religion was never totally abandoned but its use was taken over by governments and complemented by the development of Education for application on children and teenagers, and after World War II mostly by American multinational corporations and Management Science and its Leadership discipline, for the use on ineducable adults, i.e. adults who are not yet stupid.

Why women have been proved to be more intelligent than men[edit]

“The only thing modern women do not understand is their husbands.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Women's and Men's intelligence

Woman reflecting on how lucky she is not to have one of these constantly draining her brain's blood

With the rise of modern Science, it has been proven by the ex-Dean of Harvard University, Larry Summers, that women are naturally more intelligent than men. Though this statement originally raised a lot of protests from politically correct perspectives which forced him to resign, later scientific research confirmed this Theory as statistically true.

Although men don’t like to admit it, if we examine history’s most prominent polymaths it’s clear that woman are naturally more intelligent than men. These figures include Alan Turing, Albert Einstein, Albert Michelson, Alessandro Volta, Archimedes, Blaise Pascal, Charles Babbage, Charles Darwin, Charles-Augustin de Coulomb, Edward Morley, Euclid, Galileo Galilei, Georg Ohm, Henry Cavendish, Isaac Newton, James Watt, James Clerk Maxwell, John von Neumann, Michael Faraday, Niels Bohr, Nikola Tesla, Plato, Max Planck, Leonard Susskind, the Spice Girls and Britney Spears.

Women's higher intelligence is linked to the drainage of blood in the brain which takes distinct forms in male and female humans. While women do have an impairment of their intelligence during menstruation, this is only temporary and affects them a few days a month; in Men, however, every erection drains blood from the brain which combined with men's fascination with their own penises (paradoxically, as a result of lack of intelligence? From this, it is clearly ascertainable! No wai!) seems to inflict permanent damage on the brain.

Many sustain that women are not only more intelligent , but also resilient in their resistance to different methods of intelligence suppression, mainly Education and Leadership development. This is probably why women have been barred from becoming priests, rabbis or mullahs, as well as been barred for centuries from leadership positions.

It has been noted that Females are more intelligent in relation to the social aspects of life, especially regarding intimate details of their friends nocturnal emmisions. Several recent studies by doctors have conclusively proven that albeit a few anomalies, men are inferior in every way to women. Is There Anything Good About Men

Intelligence Traits[edit]

George W. Bush and John Madden: The antithesis of intellgence. Yes, this photo is real.

Spontaneity - the ability to act without having to consult Wikipedia or the Bible first on the correct course of action

Creativity - skill associated with closely following instructions unambiguously

Intuition - the ability to disregard any information that could be useful in dealing with a certain situation

Analysis - a talent for getting lost in details

Synthesis - an irresistible urge to reduce everything to one preconceived idea independently of its relevance

The measurement of Intelligence[edit]

Though there are many approaches to this challenge, the only statistically reliable method documented to measure intelligence is the one based on I-ching coin tossing; this should never be tried alone at home, though.

See also:[edit]