Jak II

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“The Baron is evil? I bet Lex has something to do with this.”

~ Clark Kent on Praxis

“Woah...dude, like my hands... they're so big.”

~ Samus The Sage on Green Eco use


~ Jak on withdrawal

“Remind me not to piss you off!”

~ Daxter on the above quote

“Hulk SMASH!!!”

~ Dark Jak on rearranging public property

Jak II: and the Beanstalk
Jak II and the beanstalk.jpg
Left to right: Keira, Praxis, Jak, Jak II
Developer(s) Naughty "Naughty" Dog
Release date 2003ish
Genre Science Fiction
Platform(s) PlayStation 2
Rating T "Too Cool For School"
Would Barack Obama play it? If he was on drugs

Jak II (Also known as Jak II: and the Beanstalk outside of Tuft 1) is a Knowledgeable Umtruth game, spun-off of The Legend of Zelda. It was created by Shigeru Miyamoto during his renegade time, working for Sony.

The game follows Jak, and his wend bighead-self HULK SMASH!!! (Dark Jak) through their undertaking in Haven Water Park. It happens in the same world as The Legend of Zelda, with the outstanding outtake on being on an unlike wonderstar, in a sundry star-swirl, with unlike folks, and the only thing alike about the two games is the shape of the folks ears.

Jak II is also the only game in the line. It was voiced-over with every speech known to Man, including Latin and Old-time Greek.


After opening an butt-hole, Jak and Daxter are send to the water park called Haven. Once there Daxter runs-off and gets laid, while Jak is latched by the Deep-red Watchmen.

Jak is then taken to the Thane Praxis' under-seek tower. Jak is fanded on for 2 year-ten until Daxter at last frees him after he gets bored with playing with his butt. Jak has got a new grip from the fandings. He learns that he has the strength to become two folks. One being known as Jak, and the other as HULK SMASH!!!, often called Dark Jak. Jak also unfolds a Dark Eco yearning from the Thane's fanding.

After fleeing, Jak comes into reach with a old man, who offers to help him, if he helps him ward a child he was caring for. After helping him smuggle the child out, the old man, (who's name is told to be KOAR) Put forward Jak to the Punk Kings Of Haven. The Punk Kings Of Haven is a group of fighters who are steadfast bucking the Thane and his for-teeing ways. Jak goes on manifolding tasks for the Punk Kings Of Haven, until the Thane grip of steer is almost fully gone.

It's at this time, KOAR, along with his were-might of Brick Heads onset the Water Park. When come at by Jak, KOAR shape-shifts into his true form.

Kor in his true, and most mighty form.

KOAR then flies away to the wasteland, where he and Jak (along with HULK SMASH!!!) fight and at last beats him.

Jak comes back to Haven Water Park to self-slaughter himself, and upon go into the bar, he finds Daxter. Who has become a two hundred pound child pedophile.


Gameplay is mostly made up of the player (Jak) hopping up and down until reaching the end of the game. There is little to no skill whelming beyond slapping the game-pad until you either win the game or die trying.

Some segments involve the player taking control of one of the various vehicles, including: A hover-board, hovercrafts, mechs, rifts, and of course cabbage-mobiles.


Jak-The protagonist of the game. Jak is an ex-convict from Hell. He is sucked into an anus that brings him to the Water Park Haven.

HULK SMASH!!!-HULK SMASH!!! also called Dark Jak, is Jak's evil twin, and split personality created from the Red Baron's experiments. He's the exact opposite of Jak. Meaning, instead of an ex-convict, he's a priest.

Keira-The mechanic granny next door. She's one of Jak's closest friends. She's the daughter of Samus the Sage. She's got the hots for Jak but she's got a few personality flaws that keep her from getting close to him.

Ashlien-The son of Thane Praxis and the additional love interest of Jak. You can tell he's the Baron's son by the way they meet. He first encounters Jak after finding him stumbling through the woods, and shoots him, mistaking him for a bear. He used to be a woman until he shot up Dark Eco and was subsequently changed into a man.

Thane Praxis-The ruler of Haven Water Park. Some people think he's a bad leader, but he's actually one of the best the Park has ever had. The media just portrays him as some kind of monster.

KOAR-The antagonist of the game. He is originally appears as an old man. But is later revealed to be the leader of the Brick Heads. He later transforms into one of the fiercest monsters ever seen.

Samus-The master of Green Eco and the father of Keira. He doesn't do much, he's usually too high.

Daxter-The only character who really serves no purpose. All he does is lay around and get drunk. Although he does enjoy the company of blow up dolls friends.

Vin-A nervous wreck who is afraid of the brick-heads. Oh, and he dies. I just thought you'd need to know that.


Jak II is the first in the long line of games by ex Nintendo and Sega developers for the Sony PlayStation 2. Other games in the series include: "Sonic and Snake in: Metal Gear Eggman", "Super Mario Cooper", "Dong Kong and Clank", and "Billy Daxter and the Giant Glob of Eco".

Also See[edit]

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