Phineas and Ferb

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Phineas and Ferb using mind control to force convince your children to recycle.

“I know what we're gonna do today!”

~ Phineas plotting his vengeance.

Phineas and Ferb is a children's television program on the Disney Channel. It mainly revolves around two step-brothers named Phineas and Ferb who waste their summer vacation building things that disappear. It also focuses on their pet platypus who works as an undercover Russian spy. This show is very favored by the kids because of all its annoying musical numbers and plot twists. Their summer is too long, but they probably live in an always warm place like Florida or hell. This encourages kids to drop out of school to build useless and dangerous garbage (trash if you're in the United Kingdom).



Phineas Flynn- The deformity who started it all. He has an overly positive attitude and is, in fact, too happy for someone with a dorito-shaped head. He likes turning his boring life more awesome by creating giant roller coasters and other things. His voice somehow happens to change each time he sings a song. He is constantly engaged in activities with his half/step brother Ferb, yet takes all the credit for his work.

Ferb Felcher- Phineas' British brother and the only normal character on the show. A little known fact about Ferb is that he he is actually a cyborg created by the people of the future. This would explain his disproportionate eyes, tall rectangular head, tiny torso, ability to do everything, and the fact that he always keeps the same facial gesture in every situation. He also doesn't talk much, not since his dinner feast with the British Royal Family (when he said "pass the fork", his accent made "fork" sound like the other F-word).

Candace Flynn- Phineas and Ferb's bitch older sister who tries to make her brothers' lives horrible by trying to bust them. She always drags her mother from her extremely important tasks to show her whatever crazy shenanigans Phineas and Ferb are doing, but everything always somehow disappears as soon as her mom gets there and Candace will have wasted her mother's time. She also has a crush on this super hot boy named Jeremy Johnson, but can never get to him due to being horribly tortured by his demonic little sister, Suzy Johnson who is also a bitchy tantrum witch like Candace.

I personally don't know what to say about this.

Perry The Platypus- Perry was born after hatching from one of James Bond's eggs. He made his way through a sewer and was trained by Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for 12 years until he escaped from the sewers. He was then adopted by Phineas and Ferb, who took him in as a pet because they thought he was a cute animal. Actually, he's a smart spy who goes on secret missions to stop Dr. Doofenshmirtz from unleashing evil on the Tri-State Area. Phineas and Ferb have absolutely no idea that their pet platypus fights crime and still think he's a cute animal. Perry also appreciates Phineas and Ferb's inventions. The relationship between Perry and Doof is somewhat on the homoerotic side.

Heinz Ketchup Douchenshmirtz- An Evil scientist who is extremely unattractive, has a hunched back, and talks with some sort of accent. Born in Drusselstein (formerly Nazi Germany), he studied evil when he was 4 because of his loyal alliance to Hitler. He was scarred for life when he witnessed his parents kissing. Then he became hunchbacked when he fell off the second floor of the Empire State Building and was crushed by a dead horse. Thus, he realized his true calling, descended to the dark side, and started a business named Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. Perry is usually called to thwart his plans, but there's no point since Poopenshitz ruins his own plans even when Perry isn't around. He has no friends and is racist against platypuses. On a lesser extent, he tries to get vengeance on his brother Roger because he is x100 much better than him.


Isabella "Motseralla" Gonorrhea-Sharpero- An annoying brat looking for an excuse to annoy Phineas and Ferb. She is in the Fireside Girl scouts and has a crush on Phineas, but finds it hard to kiss him without getting stabbed by his nose. Oh, and she's also Jewish. She also hates things cuter than her, like puppies, babies, and cute forest animals. Isabella also can sound like a man, and when she does the man voice, her mouth is so wide, she could swallow a guy. She once did too!

Isabella is a brainless alien, you know.

Ewford Van Stomm- He is a fat kid who serves as the tyrant of the show. He is commonly seen bullying Baljeet, and is never seen bullying any other character of the show. This could be because he has some sort of special relationship with Baljeet. He is also in love with his pet goldfish named Biff, but is unaware that it has been dead for 8 years.

Jeremy Johnson- Some hunk who lives down the street. Candace bears a large obsessive crush on him. She always tries to ask him out, but fails due to her other obsession of busting her brothers. Though despite her obvious mental obsessions/problems, Jeremy still loves her anyways.

Ballsjeet Tjinder- He is a smart, little, Indian boy who has an unhealthy obsession for school and learning. He is seriously the only character on the show who actually loves math. In fact, he wants to destroy summer so that school can be open all year long. However, for some unexplained reason, the writers changed this and stupidly made Doofenshmirtz the main villain.

Stacy Hirano- An ex-hardcore and gang bang actress called the Disco Miniature Gangbang Queen. Her record for most gangbangs in an hour was broken by her ex-friend Candace. As a result of this, she will always refuse to help Candace bust her bros.

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz- Doof's teenage goth daughter. In a similar way to Candace, she could never prove to her mother that her ex-husband is evil. Ferb has a crush on her, despite that they are two different age groups. She also dates Monobrow's son behind everyone's back.

Major Monogram or Major Monobrow- Some old guy with a big, fuzzy unibrow and mustache. He is not only a freak with both eyes on one side of his face, but also the leader of an underground spy agency that kidnaps pets and trains them to become deadly spies. He usually assigns Perry his missions.

Carl the Intern or Dr. Coconut- Monogram's little helper who literally has no nostrils and a single strand of facial hair, and seems more like the older brother of Dexter. Monogram plans to fire Carl due to his little importance to the show.


Irving the Nerd or Nerdving- Some nerd who thinks he is Phineas and Ferb's biggest fan. He's an obsessive stalker who ALWAYS watches Phineas and Ferb 24/7, and plans to marry them one day. He has no purpose to the show either.

The Giant Floating Baby Head - Really? Do I really need to explain this, because the title explains it all. And where did a giant floating baby head come from? Perhaps a giant floating vagina that never made an appearance in the show for very obvious reasons.

Klimpaloon - A magical old-timey bathing suit that lives in the Himalayas. No, I don't know how many shrooms the writers were on.

The Fireside Girls:

  • Gretchen - Velma's younger sister. Gretchen has no last name.
  • Adyson Bitterwater - The runner up for Isabella's troop leader position. Long story short, Adyson hates Isabella.
  • Ginger Hirano - Stacy's younger and less hotter sister. She has a crush on Ballsjeet.
  • Katie - A blonde girl.
  • Milly - A girl, but isn't blonde.
  • Holly - One of the few African-Americans who live in Danville.

Critical Reception[edit]

And they say this is a kid show?

Unlike most of today's cartoons that do little other than destroy people's brains and make them do extremely dangerous, violent, and otherwise impulsive things that ultimately bring the order of society to its knees, many critics praise Phineas and Ferb. One critic has said "Phineas and Ferb is possibly the best thing on TV since the 1990's". Phineas and Ferb is highly praised for its intelligence, wit, slight adult humor, and for being funny and not just stupid.

However, some are concerned (mainly Your Mom) that in only a few years, Phineas and Ferb may be headed to the skeleton with the scythe who dresses in a cloak. Bill Nye the Science Guy said "It happened to The Simpsons and SpongeBob, and it could happen again, like it did with my mother-in law.. The show is so amazing, that the government is taking security measures to ensure that Phineas and Ferb doesn't end up like Seinfeld.


These are episodes of Phineas and Ferb (Duh). Despite that the show takes place in the summer time, most of the episodes are surprisingly NOT aired in the summer.

Season 1[edit]

Episode Title
01 “Rollercoaster”
In the series' premiere, Phineas wants to build a rollercoaster because he got bored. Ferb wanted to build one of those rides where you sit in giant spinning cups, but everyone liked Phineas' idea better because rollercoasters are much cooler. While everyone starts building the rollercoaster, Candace decides to bust her brothers, so she goes to interrupt her mother's heart surgery to bring her to the scene. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz plans to egg his brother Roger's house...using platypus eggs! Perry arrives just in time to save those unborn children of his species and thwarts Doof's plan. As they battle, one of the eggs hits the rollercoaster, causing it to break down. By a strange coincidence, the kids land in a tree in Phineas and Ferb's backyard and Candace wastes her mother's time.
Episode Title
02 “Backyard Bitch Beach”
On an extremely hot day, Phineas and Ferb want to go to the beach but can't because they don't have money. So they build their own beach in the backyard. Candace once again tries to bust her brothers and gets her mother, who was too busy protesting in Tibet. While Candace heads to the airport, Perry flies off to thwart Doofenshmirtz's plan. Doofenshmirtz tells him about how his parents turned him into a lawn gnome and sold him to a lawn gnome store so they could buy an XBox 360 game console. Doofenshmirtz then tells Perry that he plans to turn all the XBox game consoles in the Tri-State area into lawn gnomes with the help of his lawn gnome-inator. Due to an error, he accidentally ruins Phineas and Ferb's beach party by polluting the water with his damn lawn gnomes.
Episode Title
03 “Haunted house episode”
Isabella does her usual business of annoying Phineas and Ferb, but suddenly gets the hiccups for no reason. Phineas and Ferb build a haunted house so they could try scaring her hiccups away. Meanwhile, Candace tries to go on a date with Jeremy, but gets tortured by his evil brat sister. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz tries to set fire to the sun. Perry thought this was a waste of time, and leaves. Candace walks home with a poodle biting on her helmet and discovers the haunted house. She then runs off to get her mother to bust the boys, but gets tortured by Suzy Johnson again. Some wierd stuff happened, then Phineas almost dies. But he was saved, and Isabella loses her hiccups all of a sudden.
Episode Title
04 “Buford's Fish”
Phineas and Ferb enjoy a day at the beach, but suddenly hear Buford crying sweating through his syes. He tells them that he lost his beloved pet fish, even though it's been dead for 8 years now. Phineas and Ferb build a submarine to help. Upon finding out, Candace goes to drag her mother away from her meeting with the Queen. Meanwhile, Perry goes to thwart another one of Doof's plans. Doofenshmirtz talks about how he got molested by a costumed pedophile as a kid, so he dresses up as a squid and pursues to tentacle rape every 3-year old in the Tri-State Area. After spending hours underwater with their now soggy submarine sandwich, Buford finds his fish. A giant squid shows up and attacks everyone, but Buford decides to run away with his dead fish. Just as the giant squid is about to eat everyone, it sees Doofenshmirtz in his squid costume, and runs off to have hot squid sex with him. Candace once again wastes her mother's time, and gets sentenced to jail for wasting the Queen's time.
Episode Title
05 “Global Warning”
Phineas and Ferb can't decide what they want to do. Candace tries to get ahead of them, and sets off to find her mother at the endangered species protest and bring her to whatever they would be doing. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz tries to melt the North Pole so he can find and kill Santa Claus for not giving him his Christmas present. Perry tries to stop him because he would make all the polar bears really sad. Doofenshmirtz didn't care about stupid polar bears, so he melted the North Pole, only to discover that it took him 40 years to find out Santa Claus didn't exist. The melted sea ice floods into Phineas and Ferb's backyard and creates another backyard beach, but this time for polar bears (who rapidly evolved into beach bears). The rest of the flood blocks Candace's path, thus thwarting her plot to bust her bros.
Episode Title
06 “Journey to the Center of Isabella”
Isabella accidently swallows Phineas's new toolbox, so Phineas and Ferb go inside Isabella to get it. But Isabella gets diarrhea and poops out Phineas and Ferb. Then Phineas and Ferb decide just to punch Isabella's uvula (the dangly thing in the back of people's throats) and she throws up the toolbox. Candace was fapping off during this episode, so no Candace in this episode. Meanwhile, Dr. Douchenshitz Doofenshmirtz gets hate mail from his father, so he builds the Hate Mail-inator, which sends hate mail to everyone's mailboxes. Then Perry comes in and beats the shit out of Doofenshmirtz and destroys the Inator like he does everyday.
Episode Title
07 “Munky Business”
After Phineas and Ferb kidnap a monkey from the zoo, Candace tries to get her mother out of Haiti so she can bust her bothers. Meanwhile, Perry tries to stop Doofenshmirtz from bringing Hitler back to life with his zombie-inator. Phineas and Ferb attempt to give the monkey a shower so they can complete the list of things mentioned in their theme song. Unfortunately, they end up drowning it when they forgot to unclog the shower drain. A beam from the zombie-inator hits the now buried monkey corpse and brings the creature back to life. Candace arrives to bust the boys when the zombified monkey bites her, thus turning her into a monkey. An animal control officer captures Monkey Candace and locks her in the zoo. Phineas and Ferb plan to help her as soon as they finish locating Frankenstein's brain.
Episode Title
08 “Phineas and Ferb go to school”
Phineas and Ferb go to school because their summer lasted too long. I mean, the theme song said there's 104 days of summer vacation. I've been counting the episodes and there's way over 104 days! Is there some sort of worm hole or something that keeps reverting back to the same day, allowing the characters more time to work on complicated inventions? Or do they live in a world where there are no other seasons except summer (and occasional random winters) and school is prohibited? What's the point of saying there's 104 days of summer vacation if this summer vacation won't fucking go away?! You know what, if they're saying household pets are secretly government spies, then I'm not arguing. If you need me I'll be in my room wondering what to do with my sad excuse of a life.
Episode Title
Movie “Across The 2nd Demension”
Candence The Whore tries to find Phineas and Ferb, While Phineas, Ferb and Perry get Trapped by Hitler and sent to the 2nd Dimension. Phineas gets angry and yells in the whole entire movie. They get captured and tortured. Then Phineas and Perry make up and hug a lot, while Ferb gets recruited by Hitler to become his Nazi buddy. At the end of the movie Phineas and everyone in the show defeat the Hitler Bots. 2nd Dimension rides on Perry up to Doof Inc. and destroys the Machine. The 2nd Dimension Guys return to there own damn world. Then Phineas decides to get everyone's memories erased to keep Perry. Phineas makes out with Perry, then get the gang gets their memories erased. After Perry looks at Pictures they took and plans for The 2nd Poopy Dimension episode when Perry and Phineas go steady, and Isabella dates Ferb and gets pwned By Linda his stepmother.

See also[edit]