Kim Possible

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
A typical Kim Possible mission. Cute, isn't she? Well, don't let her looks fool you, or else you'll end up like the folks on the left.

Kim Possible is an American animated television series that follows the adventures of two teen anarchists from their sophomore year in high school to their senior year. It teaches kids the importance of radical politics, from anarchy to fascism, and is noted for its unnecessary violence and intense situations. During the early-to-mid 2000s, it was featured on Disney Channel's primetime lineup alongside The Proud Token Black Family and Jake: The American Psycho.

Premise[edit]

In the show, the two teen protagonists (known as Team Possible) travel the world and their own United States to spread the black flag of anarchy. A typical "mission" may involve blowing up oil rigs, making out on the deck of battleships, inciting rebel uprisings in third-world countries, assassinating corporate or government officials, praising M.C. Honey, and/or attempting to cause mass hysteria by revealing the truth about the Middleton Junior Prom. Because being a terrorist these days is a risky business, the characters operate under the pseudonyms "Kim Possible" and "Ron Stoppable", and their true identities are never revealed in the show.

Inbetween spreading villainy, turmoil, and chaos on Earth, to the skies and the rest of the galaxy, Kim must juggle radical politics with the usual generic trials of adolescence (grades, popularity, pimples, relationships, loud music, etc.). There's also a pretty routine "Will-they-or-won't-they?" romance plot between her and Ron (spoiler alert: They will).

Characters[edit]

The Main Hitters[edit]

Kim Possible[edit]

Kim is a scofflaw with a brash mouth.

Leading a rampage across the globe, Kim is head of a team she forcefully gathered. A driving stake through the heart of society, she is the ultimate herald of the anarchist cause and teen delinquent life. She has devoted her life to bringing down the Man, and her acts of civil disobedience include not wearing a bra, thus revealing pointy breasts, and having a pierced belly button (though Disney refuses to admit it).

Kim is proficient in twelve different unarmed fighting systems (Karate, Kung Fu, Jijitsu) and is highly skilled in the use of edged weapons. She has received extensive training in mountaineering, underwater demolitions, jungle, desert, and artic survival, and some form of holistic medicine. She is a qualified expert in all NATO- and Warsaw-pact small arms.

Kim Possible was tempered on the anvil of life until she was as dangerous as a razor-edged sword, flailing in the dark.
Mr. Barkin sheathed that sword and harnessed its deadly energy, but even he is wont to forget that even within the safety of its scabbard, the blade retains its cutting edge.
 
Tom Clancy's Mission: Kim-possible, page 42

Ron Stoppable[edit]

Kim's Field Runner, best friend, and in the fourth season, her boyfriend, Ron is the show's comic relief, often dropping his gun or strangling a guard at inopportune moments, causing Kim's missions to become much bloodier than they'd normally have to be. Ron's methodology is that of your typical street level hitman, and he normally responds to Kim's use of more exotic assassination techniques with such lines as "Can't we just run in and shoot the guy?" and "Sure, dripping poison down a thread is cool and all, but you get poison all over your gloves. And I ask you, how are you supposed to give me a kiss with poison all over your gloves?" Before shacking up with Kim, Ron secretly played Hello Kitty Online 2 as a way to meet girls who can afford computers.

Ron was Kim's first victim, and throughout pre-school she made sure his life was full of fear and terror. All of his psychological problems and negative attributes are due to the direct influence of his "best friend". After he finally submitted himself to her will, Kim finally agreed to allow him to tag along with her, and taught him the ways of the "Kimness". He caught on very quickly and is till now Kim's sidekick. But even after all that, Kim still has to beat some sense into him every now and then. His ever-popular cheer, "Boo-Yah!" is actually a form of contradicition, a sign of hope for this young boy. It started off when Kim squeezed a little cat into a printer to change the colour of its fur, Ron's horrid response began a a" Boo.." but after Kim shot daggers at him with her eyes Ron immediately changed it to a "..yah!". Since then he stuck by this phrase, little did he know that it will slowly cause a fluctuation in his mind and psychological state. I mean come on! He's forcing himself to contradict the situation with a Boo! >:( and a Yeah! :-)

Rufus[edit]

Ron's "pet" naked mole rat, a small creature that enters through the ears and wraps itself around the cerebral cortex. This has the effect of rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion. Later, follows madness and death. Ron sometimes uses Rufus for interrogation, but mostly it's just to satisfy his own sadistic glee at watching people being driven insane before dying. He is frequently used as deus ex machina, usually by bailing his owner's sorry ass out of trouble.

Due to Ron's constant fit of paranoia, he is under the impression that Rufus can speak. Rufus was originally supposed to be a pygmy elephant, but they couldn't find a voice actor to speak Swahili.

Notable Marks/Targets[edit]

Dr. Drakken[edit]

A powerful, yet bumbling and inept, middle-aged arms dealer. He was once an insurance salesman until he had a life-changing experience when he was sixteen, and obtained blue skin and a mullet in a freak accident. Although he poses little threat to Team Possible, he has angered them with his tight business connections with the U.S. military. Due to the fact that a teenage girl is always capable of ruthlessly taking him out, many of his fellow villains have lost faith in him. The poor man has tried to hire help in catching the teen nemeses, but they only proved to be pawns for Kim and Ron's rampage of terror.

At the end of the series, Drakken renounces evil to save the world from some aliens. He becomes a pharmaceutical technician, and all his money goes directly to fund projects that will change the world in positive ways. It is discovered that Drakken was actually in the human trials stage of a viable cancer cure, and that Kim had been hired by rival pharmaceutical corporations to destroy his research, so he has to start from square one, but his confidence is bolstered when he enters a relationship with his assistant Ms. Shego.

Shego[edit]

A skilled assassin and soldier of fortune who is never seen without her tight green spandex suit, except by her clandestine slash partner Kim. Her motives appear to be monetary, as she hires herself out to whoever will pay the most, which is usually Dr. Drakken. Her combat skills do not match Kim's, but it's not like she's trying, anyway. She is the co-author of the nine-book series, The Encyclopedia of Machete Battles, and used to be the lead singer of Team Go.

Monkey Fist[edit]

A tranquil buddhist monk who attempted to become more in-tune with nature by hiring a geneticist to modify his DNA so he could become like a monkey. He frequently clashes with Team Possible because of his perception that they are disrupting the balance of nature. He despises Ron Stoppable because of Ron's status as a poser hippy. He gets turned into a statue and becomes Drakken's toy. It is implied that he taught Kim Possible many of her more esoteric martial arts moves. She kills him so that no other students may benefit from his knowledge.

An aidworker who does all he can to raise and protect monkeys in his monkey reserve. Kim and Ron have been known to sneak into there and practice their martial arts after starting fights with the monkeys. After getting themselves worked up in this way, they would then attack the peaceful middle-aged man, destroy his valuable collectibles and leave only after they've broken a few of his bones. Even after all that, Monkey Fist has praised Kim for helping him master his abilities to dislocate his body parts.

Señor Senior Sr.[edit]

A throwback to the rather tame spy thrillers of bygone counter cultures, SSS is portrayed as one of the last of the jet set crowd, a dinosaur who'd be more at home in the Playboy Mansion of the 1950s than any modern setting. Kim recieves him as a kill, because of the Cuban Whistle Crisis, which he is believed to have orchastrated from behind the scenes. Senior is the first mark of Kim's to ever be shown trying to buy her off, and even more astonishingly the reader is led to believe he suceeds. However, when SSS re-enters his villa, we are shown a bomb just finishing its countdown. Once Kim Possible takes a contract, it is always fulfilled.

Señor Senior Jr.[edit]

Son of SSS, he is even more of a ladies man than his father. He has yet to be killed, but that's only because Kim enjoys playing with this victim. There is much sexual tension between him and Kim Possible, and she swears that she will have her way with him before he dies. It's probably the only thing keeping him safe.

The childish punching bag for Kim and Ron. His overgrown shoulders are in fact giant bruises from their pounding. They keep promising him that this is helping him grow muscles and attract all the ladies as long as he promises to keep it a secret from his father, and he actually believes them!

Dr. Dementor[edit]

Dr. Jens Demens (aka Dr. Dementor) is a descendent of Dr. Josef Mengele, a Nazi scientist. Hitler made it his dying wish that Dementor be kept alive into the present day to continue his work. While Dementor still has a couple million more Jews to go to live up to his predecessors, he is trying his best. Because fascism and anarchism are decidedly opposed ideologies (we're smart, by the way), Team Possible and Dr. Dementor clash frequently.

Support Crew[edit]

Mr. Barkin[edit]

Poses as a teacher at the high school Kim and Ron attend to discretely assign Kim her targets under the guise of "homework assignments". One of the running gags of the show is that every class Kim takes is taught by Barkin, the regular instructor having suspiciously suffered from some kind of accident or food poisoning. Abrasive and stand offish, Barkin comes across at times as either a hard, no nonsense military man or an intelligence spook who's been exposed to one too many of our nation's dirty little secrets. It has been speculated in the series, but never resolved, as to whether or not Kim's missions are just typical murder-for-hire, or if Barkin has been singling out these men as targets for his own nefarious purposes.

W4d3 L04D[edit]

A supposed hacker super-genius who acts as tech support for Kim during her missions, talking to her through ear implants that are inaudible to everyone else. It is generally a given that his purpose is to guide Kim through anything technical, since it's hard to be trained as an unstoppable killing machine AND be good with computers. When he isn't helping Kim and crew break into CTU (ten points for rhyming), he can be found chatting with fellow comrades on IRC, hijacking radio and television frequencies to spread propaganda, coding open-source software, eating a lot, and rapping to Sean Kingston. W4d3 never actually appeared in person in the show's first three seasons, and the more annoying of the show's fans claimed that he isn't a person at all, but actually an incrediblly advanced A.I. The show's creators just laughed when presented with this idea, and were proven right when W4d3 finally appeared in-person to Kim in season four.

Drs. Possible and Possible[edit]

Kim's mom, in a rare moment of happiness, feeding her sons.

Kim's parents, responsible for everything she is doing. They are both scientists, giving Kim, at the genetic level at least, the potential to be the most deadly individual on the planet. It was their intention from the time their daughter was born to raise her to become the greatest assassin this world has ever seen. As a toddler Kim was taught that the misery of others is the only way she was ever going to get their attention; "That's my girl!" her father would tell her whenever she made news headlines. They generally treat Kim as a beloved science fair project that didn't quite produce the results they were looking for, and instead lavish all their love and attention on Kim's younger siblings. Their indifference to her is what makes it plausible that Kim can carry on a double life as an assassin.

Jim and Tim Possible[edit]

Kim's younger brothers, these two are so obviously ripped straight out of Village of the Damned it's not even funny. The Doctors Possible act like they're perfectly normal little boys, Kim treats them with apathy, and Ron is so habitually freaked out by them he's even offered to file a restraining order against the two on several occassions as a freebie.

Bonnie Rockwaller[edit]

A voluptuous popular girl schoolmate (more likely enemy, but what the heck, I'm placing her under "Support crew" in what case!) who antagonizes Kim day in and day out, only to cover up for her secret desire for her, which she takes out on the rest of the cheerleading team. Kim once discovered she was in love with Bonnie, maybe because she had those perfect, soft boobs Kim would never get herself. They never really hooked up but spend some wild nights together before they re-united as haters.

MoNique Johnson[edit]

A friend of Kim's who is a rapper and is addicted to fashion. She and Kim bonded in Juvi since she was throw in and called a "lazy sack". She comes on missions but is always more focused on what brand of shirt she should bring rather than the mission itself. She's dated Kim's brothers and is Shego's ex-girlfriend. She is seen watching Kim and Ron make out and canmbe seen spotted and potted behind a tree or bush and once in Kim's trunk.

Episodes[edit]

No.TitleOriginal air date
1 "Squished" September 11, 2002
Team Possible learns of a plot by Drakken to ripoff some anime by building giant robots and selling them to the U.S. military; Kim goes and kicks his blue bottom. This episode features the first appearance of Joshua Mankey, Kim's intermittent love interest and the object of some terrible puns ("Quit mankeying around!"). 
2 "Grande Size Me" November 25, 2002
One of the most violent episodes in the series. Ron gets a job at Bueno Nacho and Kim gets pretty pissed at him. She plans to get revenge by throwing a Molotov cocktail through the drive-through window while he's on duty. He escapes, but soon after that a ruptured gas line explodes and destroys everything in a three-block radius. Afterwards, Kim and Ron learn the value of friendship and loyalty while in a lengthy battle with the local police
3 "Animal Attraction" March 20, 2003
There's a personality quiz that's taken over the projects, and Kim finds out she's a black scorpion. It becomes the symbol of her assault on law and order
4 "Dial "T" for Time Travel" April 9, 2003
This is the first Kim Possible movie. Team Possible travel through time to see all their friends and enemies as older folks. Shego has assassinated most of the world just because she could, and has become President. Murder, instead of a crime, is now enforced by law. In spite of that, Kim still wants total anarchy and gets in a big ol' battle with Shego. Shego wins by sending Kim back in time to where she started. Time travel and murder are both fun concepts. This movie put them together
5 "Go Team Go" November 2, 2004
This episode introduces Team Go, a particularly dreadful punk rock band that Shego used to perform vocals for (as far as band names go, punk rock bands usually have the worst). The band had languished ever since Shego quit, so the members of Team Go go to great lengths to convince her to rejoin. This episode features guest appearances by Yoko Ono, Johnny Rotten, and Naoko Yamano. 
6 "Emotion Sickness" December 26, 2004
One of the most popular episodes among fans and wankers. One day, Kim accidentally injects a sex drive stimulant into her bloodstream, mistaking it for heroin. Kim kisses almost every character in the show in this episode, leading many insane bastards to try to use it as proof that their bizarre shipping fantasies stand on any sort of basis other than overactive hormones. 
7 "Kim Possible Movue Extravaganza: So the Drama" July 7, 2005
The original series finale, which takes its title from Kim's favorite catch phrase. It's basically a two-hour-long version of "Squished" except with more sex and giant robots, and Kim eats one of her brothers thinking it was her neighbor. Disney and their counterparts in Soviet Russia decided to renew the show for another season "out of respect for our loyal fans," but everyone knows that they just did it for the money because they're capitalist pigs and sellouts. Disney is rumored to continue the series with a secret plot twist. 
8 "Clothes-Minded" August 23, 2005
Kim learns that certain female members of a local anarchist group have sold out and shopped at Victoria's Secret. She kicks their asses real good. 
9 "Stop Team Go" December 30, 2006
Another fine episode that pleases wankers. Team Go finally convinces Shego to rejoin the band. Although Shego's renewed membership is short-lived, it involves her wearing a schoolgirl outfit during the performances. Daaaay-um. 
10 "Graduation: The Epic End of the Series Movie (For Real This Time)" April 16, 2007
The series finale, which includes every KP adversary and most of the known and unknown weapons ever devised. Kim gets shot at the end. Oh, did you like that ending? No? Well too bad. 

Production[edit]

Kim Possible was based on Tom Clancy's Mission: Kim-possible, a spy novel centered around the adventures of title character Kim Possible, a teenage outlaw assassin known as The Girl Who Can Kill Anyone. It was written by Tom Clancy, a B-list author best known for writing erotic political nonfiction and novelizations of video games. Allegedly, Clancy co-created the concept with his coworkers Bob Schooley and Mark McCorkle while in an elevator. McCorkle looked at Schooley and said, "Kim Possible. She can do anything", to which Schooley glared back and responded, "Ron Stoppable, he can't", and Clancy shot a look at both of them and gleefully chirped out "Call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me!", and the novel's entire premise spontaneously combusted into existence immediately afterward.

Later, Clancy, Schooley, and McCorkle decided to take their concept to Disney Channel, believing that the feminized kids who watched the channel needed a good dose of testosterone-infused action. Disney executives liked the pitch and greenlit the show, but told Clancy to tone down the usual adult and political themes that were prevalent in his works. Clancy reluctantly agreed, but was still able to sneak in stuff past the radar, such as Shego saying "I don't do cakes... I don't bake 'em and I don't jump out of 'em!". Kim Possible was initially the longest-running Disney Channel Original Series, airing for five years. Eventually, Phineas and Ferb surpassed this running-time record a century later.

Christy Carly Romano was cast as Kim, being the only voice capable of capturing the gritty atmosphere of this Disney program. Romano's voice is sped up 50x to give the illusion that a high-voiced girl is speaking, as opposed to a deep-throated one. In some episodes, you can hear Romano shaving, smoking, and beeping her pager during the recording session. She is usually too distracted to say exactly what the script wants, but gets it close enough for her to remain on the show for its entire run. Ron is usually voiced by whoever was standing outside the recording studio at the time. The janitor, Ben Chowderson, has been Ron most of the series. Other people who have been Ron include: little girls, tour groups in unison, and the president of Disney. Shego's voice actress is Ellen Degeneres. Who knew?

Merchandise[edit]

Besides the typical coloring books and playsets, Kim Possible is featured most promeniently in a series of stealth-based action video games, where she stalks her targets through such locales as artic bases, oil rigs, embassies, the CIA headquarters in Langley, and water parks. From simple Kim Possible-themed flamethrowers to Kim Possible lethal throwing axes, Kim's influence is not limited to her TV show.

The album for Kim Possible, entitled Kim Possible, came out in 2003 by Subliminal Edge Records. It has not been a "success" exactly, but hey, if you look hard enough you'll find it.

Songs that were inspired by the show were also included in the CD:

Reception[edit]

Admit it. Somehow you just knew that Kim Possible wore lavendar panties, didn't you?

Kim Possible is considered by many to be an intelligent and avant garde look at innocence lost in the exciting and highly profitable world of human extermination. It won various awards including in 2004 the Amnesty International OH NO YOU DI'NT award for the episode "Torture Your Neighbors, Kids!" and the People's Choice Award in 2005 for Best Sound Editing, which sounds important, but it really isn't. Clips from the show have been featured in Osama bin Laden's weekly variety showand the Pakistani version of Disney's House of Mouse, and Kim's dilapidated house was featured as a hidden unlockable map in Unreal Tournament 2004. One online reviewer described Kim as "one of, if not the most, perfect characters that Disney has ever created."

However, the series also garnered criticism and controversy from crusty old hags because of its heavy adult content and radical political themes. One episode, which depicted a cannibalism by Kim, got the crusty old hags particularly upset, even though it was animated. Kim Possible has been criticized and boycotted by the American Society for Family Values for its "sexualized" animation style. From the start of the show, parents were complaining about Kim's character as "an example of the glorification of pointy breasts" (cf. Patriot Act, 2001), and the producers' decision to air an episode where Kim undresses in front of Ron. This questionable content led some parents to question why Disney, a company known for a tradition of child-friendly material and family values, picked it up in the first place; CEO Michael Eisner responded by telling them, "We have no obligation to make wholesome art. We have no obligation to set family-friendly values. Disney's only obligation and goal is to make money."

The show has had such a negative impact on the minds of children that it is common to see them standing upright and raising a salute to all her evil antics. It is believed that any form of wrong behavior from kids is a direct result of this show. Some kids have even pledged loyalty to Kim, and are doing all they can to spread evil in the name of Kim. Naturally, parents hate the show and have staged many letter writing campaigns to the United States Postmaster General begging him to ban it from the airwaves, citing hordes of instances where their evolutionarily challenged children have fatally injured themselves or others while trying to imitate the program's content. To date, the Postmaster General's response has been to forward the letters unopened to local soup kitchens, where they are used to feed the homeless. There is a fastgrowing online anti-'Kimmunity' who are doing all they can to get this show cancelled. They even practice burning rituals where they toss the few Kim Possible merchandise there is in the world into a raging fire. Boo-yah!