Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/August 22

August 22: Obvious Day (24-hour period to celebrate the recognition of things which are readily apparent)

• 1453 - Battle of Bosworth sees king Richard III lose his shit and his shirt against Henry Tudor.
• 1492 - First encounter between Native Americans and Europeans. "I think these guys are up to no good," the local shaman remarks after being promptly shot.
• 1622 - The toaster is invented but it would be over 150 years before it would be given a name.
• 1717 - Spanish troops land on Sardinia. Having forgotten the can opener, they promptly leave.
• 1939 - The Third Reich and the Nazis continue their march across Europe. This is bad.
• 1940 - As the Germans invade Belgium in WWII, some guy thought "This seems somehow familiar."
• 1945 - Nazis defeated. This is good.
• 1948 - Jewish state of Israel founded in the predominantly Arab Middle East. This will later cause problems.
• 1953 - Hundreds rush out to buy the sheet music for John Cage's 4' 33".
• 1966 - Captain Obvious is born. Doctor proclaims, "It's a boy," because the child has a penis.
• 1973 - Brutal, murderous dictator Augusto Pinochet takes control over Chile. "I bet the CIA is helping this guy," says a random intellectual just before being abducted by a group of soldiers.
• 2001 - Like we didn't see it coming. What the fuck.
• 2003 - People realize that George W. Bush is an idiot.
• 2012 - People actually acknowledge that the Titanic was in fact not unsinkable.
• 2016 - Last person using a pager discovered living in the middle of Borneo.