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Recent News
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On this day...
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February 26: Famous Last Words Day
- 2008 BCE - "Phdugy'dufc eibgs'ghib kuikhigihdmvgh's" – Cthulhu, again.
- 480 BCE - "This is an arrow!" – Spartan guy
- 666 - "Pity me." – Satan, on Mr.T
- 777 - "AAA" – AAA
- 1566 - "Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here." – Nostradamus, his only prediction that comes true.
- 1900 - "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." – Oscar Wilde
- 1900 - "As much as I hate him, Oscar is right. I would not want to change a thing." – Mark Twain
- 1920 - "It can't end like this. Tell them I said something." – Pancho Villa is hit by history's most unfortunately-timed case of writer's block.
- 1939 - "This is absurd ! This is absurd !" – Sigmund Freud, after reading Waiting for Godot 1,111 times.
- 1939 - "No! Mine are more absurd than this crap." – Albert Camus , in reply to Sigmund (MotherF*cker) Freud saying that his works are more absurd.
- 1939 - "Who care about absurdity , Hell are others." – Jean Paul Sartre, in reply to Albert Camus.
- 1939 - "I am dying. Please... bring me a toothpick." – Fred, after reading Waiting for Godot 99,999 times.
- 1939 - "See! This one is more absurd that you two !!" – Jean Paul Sartre , awakening from his grave to get in the last word.
- 1945 - "Peace out, bitches!" – Jozef Goebbels comin' at you live, also from A to the D to the Hizzle's concrete crib, yo.
- 1967 - "I know you've come to kill me. Shoot, you are only going to kill a man." – Che Guevara, where 'only going to kill a man' means that he'll be revived as zombie and sticker-tags.
- 1969 - "This is one small step for HOLY...!" – Neil Armstrong
- 1992 - "..." – John Cage, who confuses the angel of death who thinks this is some kind of extreme performance art.
- 2000 - "Hold my beer. WATCH THIS... " – Unknown, but attributed to hundreds of people appearing on Jackass.
- 2006 - "And this rope is of such shitty quality!" – Saddamn, at the gallows, complaining his ass into his grave.
- 2175 - "I'm dying... so that I'm not going to live anymore." – Captain Obvious
- 2345 - "What's this button do???" – George W. Bush the 7th
- 2456 - "WarniT!" – Jesus Goffer
- The End of Everything - "Sorry for the inconvenience." – God
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Featured picture
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[vote]
| ColossusofBarbie.jpg - 14 total votes ( 21 / 7 )
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One of the seven wonders of the pre-feminist movement, the Colossus of Barbie stands as a silent sentinel, ever-watching, over Toydom's Valley of the Dolls.
In an ode to its majesty, Percy Bysshe Shelley declared:
- That all the world remains, to seem, unchanged,
- Her triumph o'er the rivers, wrath, and range,
- Of her immortal gaze, fixed cold with steel,
- I dare not but apease her wealth with meal.
- But, yet, Man has not seen her to the test;
- What's more, pity I couldn't bugger her like all the rest.
This is evidence that when the monument was built, people were of the belief that God was indeed a woman. Take that, Benedict XVI!
Image credit: Prettiestpretty
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
Jesus! Only 2 days left to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!
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Uncyclopedia's sista projects
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