Nitpickers

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Nitpickers.com is a movie nitpicking website that was established in 1969 by a level 4 Dungeons & Dragons self proclaimed Jedi-Wizard named B.J. Johnson.
(no relation the current singer of AC/DC, else he would actually be considered cool).
Brendon came up with the idea for the site in his mothers basement where he established and continues to this day as the headquarters of nitpickers.com.

What is a nitpicker?

Your average looking nitpicker, Mr B.J Johnson, founder of the Nitpicker.com website seen here drawing inspiration for what shit to post about next on his website

The site is deigned so that the completely retarded who can't follow story-lines or plots to any movies could have an alternative hobby while watching films; such things like pointing out there is a boom-mic in a scene that they noticed because they where unable to comprehend a story/plot was supposed to be taking place in the moving picture show thing that they where viewing. Therefor these retards could now log into nitpickers.com & post their complaints about seeing a boom-mic in a scene of movie and let other retards know at exactly what point in the movie this occurs. They think they have now discovered something useful in life, and are proud to share their find on the web that no one else with an I.Q over 12 would give two shits about... but to them, it makes them feel "spethshall"

They would submit their finding by selecting the name of the movie, which was never listed in B.J's bone-head idea that he could list every movie ever made in a single drop down menu of listed movie titles, which led to the sites biggest set of nitpicking complaints being that Brendan had only listed 105 movies on the site that he knew about, and other retards where shocked he had not included the movie titles that they wanted to leave nitpicks on; like such cult classics as "Adventures Of A Beetle Named Susan" [1934] and "Trains Of The Midnight Mass: Christmas Spectacular" [1966]. This would then lead to retards having to send an e-mail to B.J and slobbering on about the name of the movie they wanted to be included on the site and how they would be his best friend and send him Oreo's if he added the new titles for them.

Once B.J included the new titles that only the retard who asked for it to be included seemed to know about, they would then post their story about where they saw this nitpick.

The following is a typical retards post on nitpickers.com

Nitpickers

As the members of nitpickers.com grew, more and more retards got fed up with titles of movies not being displayed on the site that B.J was forced to include a message-board where all the retarded members could go and request their movie titles for inclusion. However, this would also make way for retards to complain that some of the submissions where bogus. As B.J had listed a movie that you would think only a retard would have seen... *brain fart* ... and was able to confirm that there was in-fact no actual view of "Made in Taiwan" written on the harmonica that Cowboy Dan was playing in the movie "Balled Of The Cowboy Posse" [1954] that was supposed to be set in the 18th century when such a device would not have come from an Asian country.

Soon arguments would break out amongst the retards as to what should be considered a nitpick, and what submissions should be deleted for not being genuine inclusions on a website that does not even allow linking to youtube videos to back up their claims, so other retards who might actually give a shit about a submitted nitpick can see it for themselves. It was the birth of the Nitpickers Shitkickers, a bunch of higher-up society retards who's entire lives existence now was dedicated to arguing about how the site should be run, and what should be considered a nitpick. They would then post their own comments about how things should be run around the place from now on, and then defend their opinion when other retards would reply and attack them about how they where only a semi-retard with illiteracy skills, and that if you do not spell in your post correctly, it will be nitpicked at so they can pretend it makes them seem more intelligent then just the average retard & its also so they can achieve a higher level in life and be one with their inner retardation to ascend to becoming a master Shitkicker.

Master Shitkickers

Master Shitkickers are the leaders of the retards of nitpickers.com. Their duties as admins higher up retards, help moderate the site's arguments between lower-class retards complaining about what a nitpick should be classified as.

To Become the Leaders of the Retards

To become a Master Shitkicker, members of the Nitpickers community will demonstrate their loyalty to their god, B.J; by begging him to make them a Master-Shitkicker so that they can feel mightier then another nitpicker that is pissing them off on the message boards and they see it as the ultimate way of obtaining victory. They explain in every post they write that they are a loyal and dedicated servant of B.J, and will defend him to the edge of the domain and back. They are the ones who suck up the most, never say a bad word about B.J and offer B.J bribes donations of a box of Oreo cookies that are intact and haven't licked off the cream, which is the highest level of respect a retard can pay someone.

The Ultimate Retard

Sorry to disappoint, this part has nothing to do with the wrestler named the Ultimate Warrior that is a class of different retardation by itself.

The ultimate retard refers to the nitpicking retards that have the most amount of submissions in their struggle battle for ultimate retarded supremacy. To be on top of the ladder of the Top 500 Nitpickers, which displays who is the biggest retards around, requires posting the most movie nitpicks no one but a tard would give a shit about. So making this list and competing for top position of the person that has the most spare time on their hands and really needs to get a life is one of the top honors a nitpicker or shitkicker can achieve... in life.

Qualification To Be a Nitpicker

This here is what every member of the nitpickers.com website needs to get

You may wish to join the nitpicker.com web-site if you qualify in any of the following criteria.

• Retarded
• Have No Life
• Have an I.Q that matches the same digits as your penile length or vaginal depth.
• Have picked out all the spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes in this article and actually give a shit.
• Are bothered by boom-mics showing in scenes of a movie.
• Consider yourself not educated enough to be a member of www.eBaumsWorld.com
• Believe that your calling in life is to dedicate your time to submitting movie errors that no one else gives a shit about.
• Are willing to believe the world evolves around the cyber-realm of the nitpickers community message board and you are better then anything else to have ever existed.
• Are interested in various errors in movies and have no idea what www.IMDB.com is.
• Prefer reading about nitpicks rather then actually seeing them.
• Believe you are "spethshall"

Apologies to retards who may be offended
who are not Nitpicker.com type of retards.

We wish to apologize to retards who may be offended by this article with the excessive use of the word "retard". We wish to advise you that when we use the word, we mean it in the content that the tards of Nitpickers.com are what the true meaning of the word retard means. Like when you would call ex-President George W. Bush a retard. We do not wish to demean the word, but as many of the worlds retarded population who have nothing to do with nitpickers.com, we would like to point out that you do not refer to yourself as "Retards" but as "Special People", "Autistic", "Gifted" & so on. So we do wish to advise you that if you are autistic, gifted or special we are in no way referring to you in anyway shape or form. And we hope in future if you people do encounter an un-educated asshole in life who may call you a "retard" instead of special, gifted or autistic that you will now hold your heads up high with a smile and reply, "I am not a nitpicker at all, I have intelligence".

Update Status

Since the creation of this page, we have learned that Shitkickers.com has closed down. It's no surprise, after all, the dedicated members of the site began to protest that IMDB.com was just ripping them off as a tiny portion inserted into each movie on their website. Unfortunately, no one gave a fuck, and IMDB.com won the battle. Shitkickers.com died a quick and painful death and now all of the members of the site have moved over to commenting on youtube to point out what videos they claim are fake, and also can be found in random chat rooms all over the internet being grammar Nazi's. Never considering the thought that what is misspelled in a chat room disappears off the screen in 30 seconds, never to be seen again. Like it matters? But that's a shit-kicking nitpicker for you. Once a nitpicker, always a retard.

Related Links

Nothing relates to the retarded retardation that is known as the retards of Nitpickers.com. Except for maybe "faggots"