Worst 100 Remakes of All Time
What makes a bad remake[edit]
Before we can rank the worst remakes of all time, let's define a bad remake. A remake is when you take the exact same movie and do it over again. There are several factors involved in a bad remake:
The director and/or screenwriter can make a big difference. For example, who really wants to see Quentin Tarantino remake DuckTales: The Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp? I think Malcolm McDowell has better things to do than to play an aging Scrooge McDuck. Who also wants Tim Burton to do Planet of the Apes? Wait a minute, he already did! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!
The casting is also crucial to a remake. You don't cast Zac Efron to play Macbeth. Busta Rhymes should not be playing Hamlet. Kenan and Kel should not be playing Ren & Stimpy. Miley Cyrus would be miscast if she played Dorothy Gale. Justin Bieber would be wrong to portray Charles Foster Kane. And never, ever cast Brad Pitt as Michael Myers. Ever.
Another important factor is the concept. Should this movie even be remade? What was go great about the original in the first place? Also, how closely does the remake match the original? Think about this before you remake a movie.
The list[edit]
This is a list of the Worst 100 Remakes of All Time, as selected by America's Top Critics, monkeys, and whoever bothers to edit this page. Note: All of these movies are U.S.A. Roger Ebert recently wrote that most remakes were the equivalent of being teabagged by Hitler's monkey.
| Contents: 100-91 • 90-81 • 80-71 • 70-61 • 60-51 • 50-41 • 40-31 • 30-21 • 20-11 • 10-1 |
100-91[edit]
100. The Golden Girls
(1996) Francis Ford Coppola takes on the story of four elderly women living together: Italian-American granny Sophia (Titanic's Gloria Stuart); Sophia's daughter Dorothy (Jamie Lee Curtis); sexually active Southern gal Blanche (Angela Lansbury); ditzy blonde Rose (Glenn Close).
99. 1-18-08/Cloverfield
(2108) J.J. Abrahms VIII remakes his great-great-great-great-grandfather's top-secret, untitled 2008 monster movie. Unfortunately, everybody knew what movie it was when it opened, and the mystery is gone. Stars Dakota Fanning as Old Rose.
98.6. Cinderella
(2010) Tim Burton is at it again, with another fucking "twisted" remake of a story that was once rendered cute by Disney. Cinderella is played by none other than (guess who!) Helena Bonham Carter, who couldn't act her way out of Cracker Jack box, and wouldn't work were it not for the fact that her husband is...Tim Burton. Johnny Depp, who works only to give Tim Burton films a chance of even having an audience, also stars as Prince Charming, Alan Rickman plays a gender-bending role as the Wicked Stepmother, and Timothy Spall plays one of the cute little mice, except in this version, they are diseased rats. Look out for Anne Hathaway as the Fairy Godmother, who is actually closer to a "Gothic Godmother". Marilyn Manson scores this film, as he has a fetish for making any thing he touches "twisted" as well, and does a hardcore remake titled "Bibbity, Bobbity BOO!!!"
98. Psycho
(1998) Anne Heche stops at the Bates Motel and is killed by the comedy stylings of Vince Vaughn, Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, and Luke and Owen Wilson.
97.5 King Kong
(1976) John Travolta and Donald Pleasence stop the giant ape (Richard Pryor), who has kidnapped a beautiful woman (P.J. Soles). Music by the Bee Gees. Directed by Norman Lear.
97.2 King Kong
(1982) Don Johnson and Phil Collins must stop the giant ape (the members of ZZ Top), who has kidnapped Debbie Harry. Music by Devo. Directed by John Landis.
97. King Kong
(1991) Dave Grohl and Eddie Vedder must stop the giant ape (Michael Bolton) from taking over popular music. King Kong has also kidnapped Courtney Love and is climbing up the Sub Pop Records building. Music by Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, and Alice in Chains. Directed by Samuel Bayer.
96. It's a Wonderful Life
(2004) George Bailey (Jim Carrey) wishes he was never born, and his guardian angel Clarence (Morgan Freeman) shows George what life would be like without him in this unintentionally hilarious comedy. Also stars Jennifer Aniston as Mrs. Bailey and Christopher Lee as Mr. Potter. Directed by Uwe Boll.
95. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie
(2008) Zordon (Anthony Hopkins) and Alpha (Danny DeVito) recruit a team of teenagers (The cast of High School Musical) to be the Power Rangers. Also stars Richard Chamberlain as Lord Zedd, Judi Dench as Rita Repulsa, and Robin Williams as Ivan Ooze.
94. Forrest Gump
(2005) Michael Moore's remake focuses on Forrest Gump's (Adam Sandler) life from Watergate to Vietnam to 9/11 to the bombardment of pointless remakes to the War in Iraq. Very controversial, as usual. Features George W. Bush as Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton as John F. Kennedy, and Malcolm McDowell as shrimp-loving Bubba.
93.5. Toy Story
(2009) Uwe Boll made classic from Disney.
93. Toy Story
(2007) Rob Zombie wrote and directed this twisted re-imagining of the classic Disney movie. Woody (Bill Moseley) and Buzz Lightyear (Brad Dourif) mistakenly end up at the home of a sadistic kid named Sid Phillips (Daeg Faerch), who loves to torture toys. The violence and gore are on par with Zombie's previous movies, as well as the Saw movies. Also stars Richard Lynch as Mr. Potato Head, Malcolm McDowell as Slinky, Sherri Moon Zombie as Bo Peep, Dee Wallace Stone as Andy's mom, Sid Haig as Hamm, Ken Foree as Big Joe Grizzley, and R. Lee Ermey as the green army men. Rated R for strong, brutal, sadistic, bloody violence and gore; graphic nudity; strong language; teen smoking; teen drinking; crude humor.
92. The Honeymooners
(2005) Stars Bernie Mac as Ralph Kramden, Mike Epps as Ed Norton, and a bunch of other people in this African American update.
91. Trapped in the Closet with Michael Jackson
(2009) Michael Bay remakes the unbearably long R. Kelly R&B opera-music video-epic thingy he did. Only longer.
90-81[edit]
90. Donkey Kong
(2005) Peter Jackson's epic movie has a running time of over three hours, and involves Mario (Jack Black) saving the Princess (Naomi Watts) from Donkey Kong (Robin Williams). The role of Mario was originally offered to Bob Hoskins, who played the character in the 1993 movie, Super Mario Bros., but turned it down, stating "I am a serious actor now."
89. Mrs. Doubtfire
(2004) Tim Burton unleashes a new twist on the classic movie. Sadistic serial killer and family man Daniel Hillard (Johnny Depp) is in the midst of a bitter divorce with his wife Miranda (Helena Bonham-Carter), when he poses as a nanny named Mrs. Doubtfire in order to see his kids more often.
88. I Love Lucy
(2007) In this Spike Lee joint, Lucy (Rue McClanahan) is jealous of Ricky (Ricky Gervais), who has signed a multi-million-dollar deal with Warner Bros. to make some movies. Also stars Paul Shaffer as Fred and P.J. Soles as Ethel.
87. A Clockwork Orange
(2008) Zac Efron takes over the Malcolm McDowell role in this controversial remake of Stanley Kubrick's controversial 1971 film. Young serial killer Alex De Large (Efron) is released from the sanitarium, declared reformed. He then goes on a killing spree, committing unspeakable acts to the High School Musical soundtrack. Featuring the Radio Disney hit, "I'm Gonna Kill Y'all!" Directed by Randal Kleiser (Grease).
86. Lord of the Rings
(2010, 2011, 2012) Directed by Dominique Othenin-Girard (Halloween 5). Need I say more?
85. Alien
(2001) This Steven Spielberg remake of the Ridley Scott science fiction thriller stars Drew Barrymore in the Sigourney Weaver role, and John Hurt as Elliot. Instead of a hostile alien, the title monster just wants to "phone home." This disappointed many fans of the original and its sequels. Also, the film was rated PG whereas the original was R.
84. Nineteen Eighty-Four
(1985) Having been released one year after the title year, this film gave a more realistic account of what really happened in 1984. Music by Ray Parker Jr., Van Halen, Huey Lewis, Def Leppard, and Whitesnake.
83. Back to the Future
(2007) Rob Zombie directed this remake, starring Malcolm McDowell as crackpot scientist Doc Brown, who invents a Hummer time machine. His teenage friend Marty McFly (Daeg Faerch) ends up in the year 1977 and meets his future parents, George (Bruce Campbell) and Lorraine (Sherri Moon Zombie). Notice how Rob uses the same people over and over again.
82. Who Framed SpongeBob SquarePants?
(2004) Nickelodeon bought the rights to the Touchstone Pictures property, but couldn't cough up the rights to Roger Rabbit, so they had to use their own property. They settled on SpongeBob, because he was a character that kids could identify with. When SpongeBob is accused of murder, he hires Detective Eddie Valiant (Bob Saget) to find the real murderer, Judge Doom (Christopher Walken).
81. Rocko's Modern Life
(2005) Nickelodeon sold the rights to their classic property to Dimension Films, and this was the resulting film. When the citizens of O-Town are murdered one by one, Rocko (Paul Hogan), Heffer (David Arquette), and Filburt (Horatio Sanz) must find the killer before he finds them. Also stars Henry Winkler as Ed Bighead, Bea Arthur as Bev Bighead, Kenan and Kel as the Chameleon Brothers, Luciano Pavarotti as the Wild Pig, Roseanne as the Hippo Lady, Kathy Bates as Dr. Hutchison, and Sherman Hemsley as Really Really Big Man. Anthony Hopkins plays the killer.
This live-action film was a huge hit with Rocko fans and horror enthusiasts, but mainstream critics slammed the film. Roger Ebert called it "a pile of crap." Gene Shalit proclaimed the film, "The worst movie ever made! Worse than Halloween III!"
80-71[edit]
80. Houseguest
(2004) This remake of the Sinbad/Phil Hartman comedy stars Kevin James as a man -- on the run from the Mafia -- who poses as the dentist friend of a family man (John Voigt). The original was considered to be bad enough by critics and audiences.
79. The Jeffersons
(1995) George Jefferson (Sinbad) works for a dry cleaner when his wife Weezy (Queen Latifah) announces that they are "movin' on up" with a maid named Florence (Whoopi Goldberg). Also stars Adam Sandler in the Paul Benedict role. Directed by Oliver Stone.
78. Jaws
(2003) When a giant C.G.I. shark attacks the beaches of Amity, it is up to Sheriff Brody (Ashton Kutcher), fisherman Quint (50 Cent), and Richard Dreyfuss (Will Ferrell) to stop it. Directed by Michael Bay. John Williams theme is replaced by hip-hop beats.
77. Night Court
(2006) A day in the lives of Judge Harry Stone (Jeff Daniels), Dan Fielding (Jack Nicholson), Bull Shannon (Michael Chiklis), Christine Sullivan (Paris Hilton), and Roz the Bailiff (Cedric the Entertainer). Directed by David Fincher for no apparent reason. The film has no real plot, and the film flopped. The only thing that resembled a plot involved Bull -- having had 12 bottles of water -- having to wait until court was dismissed to pee. Hilarity ensues. The funniest scene in the whole movie is the overly long diarrhea scene with Harry Stone [1].
76. Welcome Back, Kotter
(2008) When a former Sweathog named Gabe Kotter (Patrick Stewart) returns to his former high school as a teacher, he ends up teaching a bunch of Sweathogs: Vinnie Barbarino (Peter O'Toole), Freddy "Boom Boom" Washington (Morgan Freeman), Juan Epstein (John Leguizamo), and nerdy Arnold Horshack (Michael Caine). Also stars Peter Falk as Mr. Woodman.
75. A Nightmare on Elm Street
(1999) Starring Nathan Lane as Freddy. Directed by Wes Craven.
74. Thelma & Louise
(1997) Starring Kenan and Kel as Thelma and Louise, respectively. Brad Pitt is replaced with The Fonz, because, really, everybody loves The Fonz. Aaaaay!
Unfortunately, lack of promotion and lack of a script led to this film's ill-fated box office receipts, and the sequel went straight-to-video.
73. The Hand that Rocks the Cradle
(2001) Peyton Flanders (Julie Andrews, taking over the Rebecca De Mornay role) may seem like the perfect nanny, but that was before she met the Bartel family (Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne). Peyton became jealous of everything they had that she had always wanted, but never got. She decided to get her revenge through violence and murder. So much for a spoonful of sugar. Also stars Dick Van Dyke as Bert, the chimney sweep.
72. Nancy Drew
(2007) When Warner Bros. Pictures bought the rights from Nickelodeon, they decided to give Harriet the Spy a complete makeover. Harriet would no longer need her nanny, Golly (Rosie O'Donnell in the original), nor would she need her friends Sport (Gregory Smith in the original) and Janie (Vanessa Lee Chester in the original). In fact, they changed Harriet's name to Nancy Drew. Michelle Trachtenberg, who played Harriet in the 1996 film, was against the whole idea, and refused to sign on. She was replaced by Eric Roberts' no-talent daughter, who is also Julia's no-talent niece.
The film actually bore no resemblance to the Michelle Trachtenberg vehicle, and failed to reach its intended audience.
71. Small Soldiers
(2009) A group of 300 action figures led by Major Chip Hazard (Gerard Butler) must stop a larger group of action-figure villains, with the help of Shia Lebauf and Meagan Fox, while yelling out ridiculous lines such as "THIIIIIIIS IIIIIIIIIS HAZZZZAAAAARRRRRRD!!!" Executive produced by Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg. Directed by Zack Snyder.
70-61[edit]
70.1. The Wicker Man
(2006) NOOOO! NOT THE BEES! Nicolas Cage says that to almost every woman before beating them up while running around in a bear suit. 'Nuff said.
70. Vandalism from IP addresses
(1971) A group of losers (Clint Eastwood, Malcolm McDowell, Donald Pleasence, Charles Bronson, and Sidney Poitier), get bored and visit Uncyclopedia, vandalizing every page. Hilarity and stupidity ensue in this Stanley Kubrick film, a remake of a little-known 1968 French porn movie.
69. Family Guy
(2003) Peter Griffin (Tom Arnold) and his wife Lois (Fran Drescher) go to Las Vegas and leave their children home alone. Meanwhile, bumbling bandits Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern are burglarizing the Griffins' home. Also stars Lassie as Brian Griffin, Michelle Trachtenberg as Meg, Adam West as himself, Richard Pryor as Cleveland, Steven Segal as Joe, Macaulay Culkin as Chris, and Anthony Hopkins as Stewie. Features Pee-wee Herman as Quagmire. Directed by Ivan Reitman (Ghostbusters).
68. Woodstock
(1999) Not really a remake, nor a sequel, this documentary takes place thirty years after the original Woodstock concert. Starring Slipknot as Jefferson Airplane, Disturbed as Bob Dylan, Red Hot Chili Peppers as The Who, and Fred Durst as Jimi Hendrix.
67. The 2007 MTV Video Music Awards
(2016) Britney Spears (Dakota Fanning) opens up the show performing her new single, "Gimme More." Sarah Silverman (Jami Gertz) hosts the event. Performances include the Foo Fighters (Pussycat Dolls), Rhianna (Eartha Kitt), and Fall Out Boy (Josh Server).
66. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers
(1989) Although technically the sequel to Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, this film is still essentially a remake. Dominique Othenin Girard directed this behemoth of a bad remake. Donald Pleasence (as Dr. Loomis) gave the best performance in the whole film, but that isn't really saying much. Danielle Harris reprized her role as Jamie Lloyd, and Ellie Cornell came back as Rachel Ray. Michael Myers was played by Mike Myers.
65. Home Alone
(1999) Kevin McCalister (Haley Joel Osment) sees dead people (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern). Also stars Bruce Willis as Mr. McCalister.
64. The Lyin' King
(2004) In this documentary, Bill Clinton, Martha Stewart, and George W. Bush fight to the death to be crowned the lyin' king. Martha Stewart doesn't make the final cut. Directed by Michael Moore.
63. Gandhi
(2002) The Indian civil rights activist (Arnold Schwarzenegger, replacing Ben Kingsley) terminates everybody in an effort to win India its independence. Directed by James Cameron. This movie is considered by top critics as the worst ever made, in general, not just as a remake.
62. H*A*S*H
(1981) Cheech and Chong score some pot in this loose remake of M*A*S*H. During the Korean War, the stoner duo fears that the government will outlaw medical marijuana.
61. Gumby
(1984) Bruce Willis plays the title character, who, with his friends Pokey and Prickle, must find a terrorist on Christmas Eve. When the movie was in pre-production, Eddie Murphy (who played Gumby in the Saturday Night Live skit) dropped out, citing scheduling conflicts and a poor script. Directed by Harold Ramis.
60-51[edit]
60. Peanuts
(1985) After achieving modest success with Gumby, Bruce Willis followed up the critically-panned movie with another live-action children's cartoon adaptation. When Paramount Pictures made this movie, Peanuts, the role of Charlie Brown was originally offered to Richard Moll (who played the dimwitted, bald bailiff Bull Shannon on Night Court), but he turned it down because he hated shaving his head. Willis got the role, costarring alongside Alan Rickman (Linus) and Jamie Lee Curtis (Lucy). Eddie the Dog, who played Snoopy, later went on to star as the dog on Frasier. Directed by Harold Ramis.
59. Singing in the Rain
(1995) Some drunk hobo off the street named Bob (himself) sings in the rain and warns people that "the end is near. A purple elephant told me so," before being nabbed by the police. Unfortunately, this was not a movie.
58. Jews
(2006) Mel Gibson's remake of Jaws blames the Jews for the shark attacks. The end. Critics found the movie to be highly offensive and the film was soon pulled from theaters after mediocre box office receipts.
57. Honey, I Ate the Kids
(1992) After the success of Silence of the Lambs, Disney felt they needed to revamp the Rick Moranis Honey I Shrunk... movies. Wacky inventor Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) invents a machine that shrinks humans to a smaller size suitable for eating. One day, while his wife Clarice (Jodie Foster) is at work, Hannibal gets hungry and decides to eat the kids. The film sparked controversy from conservative parents claiming the subject matter was not appropriate for a children's movie. The film was actually rated R.
56. Disney's Halloween
(2004) Disney took a stab (pardon the pun) at making an animated version of John Carpenter's 1978 horror classic, Halloween. They originally wanted to collaborate with Pixar, but it didn't work out. "The animation sucked," says Michael Eisner, "Michael Myers looked like an albino Michelle Trachtenberg! And we hated Randy Newman's songs he had written." Newman had written the songs "You've Got a Knife in You" and "Shape People" for inclusion in the movie, but the songs were quickly rejected.
Disney teamed up with Dimension Films, who legally own the rights to the Halloween Franchise, and they knew one advantage to an animated film. "You don't really have to hire anybody to play Michael Myers," says Eisner. The animators used traditional cell animation and hired the usual Disney actors to play the roles.
David Ogden Stiers (M*A*S*H, Beauty & the Beast, Tarzan) voiced Michael's psychiatrist, Dr. Sam Loomis. Jodie Benson (Ariel in The Little Mermaid) voiced Laurie Strode, Michael's younger sister and intended target; she also voiced Lynda. Gilbert Gottfried (Iago the Parrot in the Aladdin movies) played Annie. Tim Allen (Home Improvement, The Santa Clause movies, Jungle 2 Jungle, Wild Hogs) played Bob, Lynda's boyfriend. John Ratzenberger (Hamm in the original Toy Story movies) provided the voice for Sheriff Brackett.
Randy Newman decided he would write better songs, but they were still rejected. Finally, Disney settled on John Carpenter, who agreed to home back after divorcing himself from the franchise for several years. The film was still a flop, as it lacked everything that made the original so special. Roger Ebert exclaimed, "Not until this day have I seen a remake that was any worse that Psycho. Disney's Halloween is that film."
55. Dora the Explorer: The Movie
See main article.
54. Groundhog Day
(1997) After the success of Scream, it was soon realized that some holidays were never made into horror films. They knew that Halloween, Friday the 13th, April Fool's Day, New Year's Eve, and Valentine's Day were already taken. Finally, they settled on remaking an established movie, Groundhog Day. Though not a horror movie, this comedy (the original) starred Bill Murray as a man forever reliving the same day over and over again.
The remake, a dark and grisly horror-thriller, starred Crispin Glover as a wannabe dictator who works as a weatherman on the local news in Pennsylvania, when he grows envious of the groundhog. He is then cursed by a gypsy to relive Groundhog Day for all eternity. Horror ensues. Harold Ramis, who directed the original, did not approve of the remake, and therefore did not participate. The film was written and directed by Wes Craven.
53. Austin Powers
(2009) The shagedelic 1960s spy (Michael Myers) goes on a bloody rampage against his nemesis, Dr. Evil (Donald Pleasence in archive footage). Hilarity and horror ensue. Directed by Rob Zombie.
52. Office Space
(2021) Michael Bay makes Milton (Played by Ben Affleck) burning down INItech a huge explosion, and any form of dialogue is replaced with huge explosions, and makes Micheal Bolton, Samir, and Peter fly into space to destroy INItech's satellite, and give it a multi-million dollar virus. Lumbergh is played by Bruce Willis and Joanna by Liv Tyler. The Soundtrack composed by Aerosmith.
51. The Good, The Bad and the Ugly
(2005) No good, but packed with plenty of bad and ugly. William Hung plays Clint Eastwood's Man with No Name and performs the music of Ennio Morricone. Directed by Uwe Boll.
50-41[edit]
50. The Wizard of Oz
(2004) The Scarecrow (played by George W. Bush), Tin Man (played by Dick Cheney), and Lion (played by various members of the Democrat majority in Congress) need a brain, a heart, and some courage respectively. Tony Blair plays Dorothy. Special cameo guest appearance by Ann Coulter as the Wicked Bitch of the Right. Michael Moore (who also directed) plays the Wizard. Harriet Miers was originally cast as the Wizard, but withdrew from the project.
49. Star Trek: The Musical
(1968) Do we even need to explain this one to you? Kirk (William Shatner) "sings" "Rocket Man" and Spock (Leonard Nimoy) sings "Bilbo Baggins." This movie made as much money as their albums did... none.
48. Freddie vs. Jason
(2006) Freddie Prinze Jr. fights Jason Lee for no apparent reason. They take their shirts off, then put them back on again after they realize they ain't so good looking.
47. Who's Your Caddy?
(2007) A black version of Caddyshack.
46. The Terminator
(2003) Starring nerdy character actor Wallace Shawn as the Terminator. Directed by John Landis.
45. Doug
(1999) Doug Funnie (Voice of Bruce Willis) lives an action-packed life in Bloatsburg before he and his family move to Bluffington, which is even more crime-ridden. Also stars Alan Rickman as Skeeter Valentine, Paul Gleeson as Mr. Bone, Luciano Pavarotti as Mr. Dink, Roseanne as Mrs. Dink, Henry Winkler as Roger Klotz, Lassie as Porkchop, and Jessica Alba as Patti Mayonnaise.
44. My Dinner with Howard
(2011) In this remake of Wallace Shawn's My Dinner with Andre, nerdy actor and playwright Wallace Shawn (who plays himself) has dinner and a long discussion with controversial radio personality Howard Stern. As intriguing as this film is, you can't get past Howard's toilet humor.
43. The Godfather
(2008) The Corleone Family tries to bring James Brown back from the dead for a big comeback special, but it doesn't exactly go as planned. The film suffers with Barney the Dinosaur as Vito Corleone.
42. This Old Man
(1996) Alex Cross (Morgan Freeman) must figure out whether this old man (Abe Vigoda) is alive or dead in this James Patterson adaptation. Cross also has to figure out what they mean by "playing knick-knack."
41. Godzilla
(1998) Enough said.
40-31[edit]
40. Best in Show
(2007) Jim Davis remakes this dog movie using cats. Therefore, this movie is not as funny.
39. Amadeus
(1989) Falco decided to do a version of Amadeus, but since he couldn't do a sequel to the 1985 original, he decided to just remake it all together. The film was no real plot, and it just essentially a 3-hour version of the music video for Falco's "Rock Me Amadeus."
38. 3:10 to Idaho
(2007) Christian Bale and Russell Crowe star in this boring potato-filled epic Western.
37. A Hanukkah Carol
(2007) This Charles Dickens Christmas classic gets a Jewish twist as Corey Feldman plays Ebeneezer Scrooge, and Carroll O'Connor plays Bob Cratchet. Also stars Jean Stapleton as Mrs. Cratchet, Tim Allen as Tiny Tim, and Jon Lovitz as Hanukkah Harry.
36. Jingle All The Way
(2007) A father (Jason Statham) must buy his son (a much older Macaulay Culkin) a Turbo Man doll for Christmas, and ends up competing against a mailman (Ray Romano) to find the elusive doll, which is sold out at every store during their last-minute shopping quest.
35. Legends of the Hidden Temple
See main article.
34. The Adventures of Pete & Pete
(2005) Big Pete (Kevin Bacon) and Little Pete (Daeg Daerch) live in the surreal town of Wellsville. When Artie the Strongest Man in the World (Russell Crowe) is kidnapped by the Principal (Adam West) and Endless Mike (Eddie Vedder), it is up to the Petes, Big Pete's girlfriend Ellen (Jodie Foster), and Little Pete's friend Nona (Jamie Lynn Spears) to stop them once and for all. Also stars John Goodman as Don Wrigley, Marion Ross as Joyce Wrigley, Iggy Pop as Nona's father, Steve Buscemi as Ellen's father, Mom's plate as itself, and Petunia (Little Pete's tattoo) as itself.
The television series was released on DVD in 2005 to coincide with the movie, but after the movie performed poorly, the DVDs were pulled, despite stellar sales from the two seasons that were released (the third and final season was pulled.)
33. Salute Your Shorts
(2009) In this horror remake of the Nickelodeon property, the kids at Camp Anawanna start dying one by one, but nobody knows who or what is killing everybody. Stars Michael Bower as Donkey Lips, Kevin Bacon as Ug Lee, Christopher Walken as Budnick, John Kerry as Budnick's kid brother, and Kane Hodder as Jason Voorhees.
32. Illegal aliens from outer space!
(2002) John Carpenter's remake of the campy 1959 alien movie did not have the same effect as the original, and therefore, the movie bombed. The critics gave it mixed reviews, making this yet another low point in John Carpenter's post-Halloween career.
31. The Santa Clause
(1998) Carrot Top becomes Santa Claus. Directed by Gallagher.
30-21[edit]
30. Raging Bull
(1989) Starring Richard Moll in the Robert De Niro role.
29. Rocky and Bullwinkle
(1975) Sylvester Stallone plays the flying squirrel and Burgess Meredith plays the moose. Also starring Danny DeVito as Boris Badenov and Joyce DeWitt as Natasha.
28. Dirty Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
(2038) "Dirty Harry" Potter (Clint Eastwood) and his friend Ron Weasley (Robert Duvall) accuse Hermione (Daphne Zuniga) of conspiracy to murder Dumbledore after hearing secrets being passed in a chamber.
27. The Mask
(1999) After seeing the original Mask in 1994, director Peter Bogdanovich thought the Jim Carrey vehicle could make a compelling drama. So he bought a DeLorean time machine from a crackpot inventor and traveled back to 1985 to make his remake look like the original movie and to make the original look like the remake.
In this version of The Mask, Stanley Ipkiss (Eric Stoltz, taking over the Carrey role) works at a bank, and becomes disfigured every time he dons a green, wooden mask. He meets an attractive woman named Tina (Cher in the Cameron Diaz role), and drama ensues when Stanley is unable to take off his mask. Butch the Pit Bull plays Milo.
26. Garfield
(2004) This was not about the famed cat, but rather about the assassination of President James A. Garfield.
25. Freaky Friday
(1984) Yet another Friday the 13th movie in which Jamie Lee Curtis and Jodie Foster switch bodies while Jason attacks.
24. Seinfeld
(1998) In this movie about nothing, Jerry (Harrison Ford), Elaine (Julia Roberts), George (Danny DeVito), and Kramer (Sidney Poitier) wait two hours for lunch. The movie happens in real time.
23. Figure It Out
(2000) In this Nickelodeon remake, panelists Malcolm McDowell, Amanda Bynes, Danny Tamberelli, and Lori Beth Denberg (the only actors who agreed to work for free) try to figure out what this movie is all about. Hosted by Summer Sanders.
22. House on Haunted Hill
(1999) Vincent Price is replaced by Hugh Laurie as House M.D..
21. King of the House on Haunted Hill
(1997) Vincent Price is replaced by Hank Hill.
20-1[edit]
20. A Clockwork Orange
(1985) Alex de Large (Kermit the Frog) commits unspeakable acts, because it's not easy being green.
19.5: Ernest Goes to Jail
(2005) Ernest (Josh Server) unwittingly winds up in jail after a lookalike (also played by Server) switches places with him while Ernest is on jury duty.
19. Disney's Deep Throat
Disney's remake of the classic porno...for the children...starring Vanessa Hudgens.
18. Osmosis Jones
(2008) Harrison Ford plays the white blood cell as he discovers the Temple of Doom. Also stars Sean Connery as Bill Murray. Executive produced by George Lucas, and directed by Steven Spielberg.
17. Breakfast Club
(2005) Starring 50 Cent, Amy Lee, Kate Winslet, Ashton Kutcher, and Zac Efron. Paul Shaffer plays the Principal.
16. Fracture
(2007) This George Clooney vehicle is a straight remake of Silence of the Lambs.
15. Snakes on a Plane
(2007) Michael Cain plays the Samuel L. Jackson role in this historical costume drama, repeating the line: "Pardon me, Jeeves, but could you please remove the snakes from these premises?"
14. Kingpin
(2003) Starring Weird Al Yankovic as the Amish guy. Talk about Amish Paradise.
13. Rugrats
(2006) This live-action movie stars Will Smith as Tommy, Wesly Snipes as Chucky, and Eddy Murphy as Phil and Lil.
12. Ghostbusters
(2008) See 1-18-08.
11. Three's Company
(2009) Jack Tripper (Ashton Kutcher), Janet (Danielle Harris) and Chrissy (Paris Hilton) live together in an apartment. Andy Griffith plays Mr. Furley.
10. Ray
(2014) This remake is far different from the 2004 original, as it focuses not on Ray Charles, but on Ray Barone (Jamie Farr from TV's M*A*S*H). Also stars Miss Piggy as Debra Barone, Al Pacino as Robert Barone, Betty White as Marie, and the ghost of Donald Pleasence as Frank.
9. Dexter's Laboratory
(2007) Dexter (Danny Tamberelli) must beat his sister Dee Dee (Paris Hilton) in a pillow fight. Directed by Harold Ramis.
8. You Can't Do That on the Big Screen
(2007) What's this movie about? I don't know. SLIME!!!
7. GUTS
(2005) This Nickelodeon sports show remake is just another slasher film.
6. Gone With the Wind
(2002) Scarlett O'Hara (Lecy Goranson from Roseanne) farts and must flee the country because of it. Also stars Jim Carrey as Rhett Butler.
5. Se7en
(2007) The Seven Dwarfs die in mysterious ways relating to the Seven Deadly Sins and syphilis.
4. Citizen Kane
(1998) Peter Boyle plays the Orson Welles character. "Rosebud!" is replaced by "Holy Crap!"
3. The Powerpuff Girls
(2006) Starring Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan. The latter two ruin the whole movie.
2. Alien V.S. Predator
(2004)Princess Peach is only naked in this one once!
1. Mario Fucks Yoshi
(2010) You NEVER see Princess Peach naked in this one AT ALL!!!