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"Oobekai Bekai Bekai Bekai Estan Estan"
"The Ununited Peoples Divided Republic Of Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan"
"Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan"
Blue Nazi.jpg Ubeki Coat of Arms.jpg
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: "It's only gay if you're taking it"
Anthem: Friday by Rebecca Black
Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan.jpg
Capital Uncyclopedia
Largest city Wikipedia
Official language(s) Ubekian
Government Communist
‑ President Unknown, nicknamed "Spino"
‑ Vice President Hadji Quest
National hero(es) General Patrick Stump
 of Independence
1957 from the ugly, bad teeth Brits,
Currency Legos,
Religion Hindu, Muslim, Arab,Santaism
Population 370,000ish because we don't have a fucking Census
Ethnic groups 40% Ubekian pure breeds, 40% Pakistanian scum, 10% Ubekian/Pakistanian.10% disgraceful Hindu-Muslim hybrids,3% other people who mysteriously woke up in the country,

“I have had sex with quite a few men in Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan”

“Who's the president of Ubeki Beki Beki..Beki Stan Stan??”

~ Herman Cain on Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan's president

“I can assure to the United States, the United Nations, and the whole World that there are no weapons of mass destruction here in Ubeki”

~ General Patrick Stump on Ubeki's allegations of weapons of mass destruction

Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan[1], or just Ubeki for short, is a moderately sized country in the Middle East. Ubeki was discovered around 17 D.C.(During Christ) by Abdul-Mommar Mohammed-Ali-Mohed Alibaba III during times of religious conflict surrounding the wacky mishaps of Jesus's teen years. Ubeki slowly developed as a nation and converted to Islam upon its foundation. Ubeki was colonized by the British in the early 1800's. England ruled Ubeki unfairly with an iron fist until the 1957 when the Ubekian army kicked the Brits out. In the 60's, Ubeki slowly built a self-sufficient economy with its major exports being illicit Drugs such as LSD and other manufactured drugs. In the 70's Ubeki was a somewhat stable nation and coined the term, "A second world country", meaning a cross between third world and what America use to be. In the 80's, Ubeki went under many radical battles within for political control, during which the current mysterious unknown leader came into power. In the 90's Ubeki began exporting Meth, Cocaine, and Heroine (drug). Also during the 90's, the mysterious unknown president began a terrorist campaign against America due to not being Muslim, that is until Al Qaeda succeeded in terrorizing America for similar reasons on September 11, 2001. Ubeki maintained a low profile until the economic crash in 2008. During the '00 decade, Ubeki spent time building its forces and allegedly built weapons of mass destruction. Ubeki has since once again began its campaign to terrorize America and declared war on America on August 9th 2011.

A common misconception about Ubeki is that it is a dictatorship, when really it is a cross between dictatorship and a democracy (a "dictocracy" or "dematorship"), as most of its people agree with its political decisions. Almost the whole nation voted to approve the war and almost the whole nation voted for its mysterious current and long termed president/dictator/king. The current military leader, Brigid-eared General Patrick Martin Vaughn Stump is on the top of America's most wanted list for organizing the bombing of an American cruise boat, in which 7% of the 1% was killed as well as .00000000000000007% of the 99% (don't forget the 4 and 1/2 under paid employees).

Foundation and Formation

An artist representation of Abdul-Mommar Mohammed-Ali-Mohed Alibaba

Ubeki was discovered/founded by Abdul-Mommar Mohammed-Ali-Mohed Alibaba, the leader of a tribe that became a sect of break off Christians who lost faith in Jesus due to his bad mistakes as a teenager. The Ubekian tribe had no choice but to leave due to exile from the Christians and the Jews. Abdul and his tribe traveled thousands of miles towards the east to establish themselves. After being established, the Ubeki tribe slowly grew in population due to migration from neighboring countries. At this time, Ubeki was just a large city without a political system or borders. The only form of government was the leader, Abdul-Mommar Mohammed-Ali-Mohed Alibaba who urged the people to convert to Islam. Ubeki was an undisturbed nation until just after the death of Christ, then the country went to war against the Christians and Jews in the "Tri-Religious Wars". Ubeki would have been defeated without the aide of neighboring Muslim countries. The war lasted about a decade which resulted in many pointless deaths. The wars ended in a peace treaty, ironically. After the wars Abdul was assassinated in an unrelated incident involving a fallen glass of milk. This is the only known origin for the phrase "No use assassinating over spilled milk."

The Ubeki Tribe expanded over the next hundreds of years and became a fairly large nation, even though it was not recognized as a country until the late 1600's. Over the early centuries, the Ubeki tribe became a form of democratic monarchy, which consisted of rule by a king, but still had voting and an extremely inconvenient law-making system similar to the United States Congress. The first king of the Ubeki tribe was Hadmead-Phlegm-Hussein. Hadmead-Phlegm-Hussein set the trend for successful kings and leadership in Ubeki, and for the next couple hundred years there was no conflict with other nations nor was their any conflict within the nation, until the British took over and colonized the country. The last king of Ubeki was King Osama Omar Alheki in the early 1800's.


In the late 1600's Ubeki became an official nation, first under the name: "Oobekai Bekai Bekai Bekai Estan Estan" which is the country's romanized pronunciation in its own language (ubekian). At this point, Ubeki was still a very insignificant country on a global scale. It was taken over and colonized by Great Britain in the early 1800's as a way to cope with the fact that America kick their asses. The English easily took over with a medium sized cavalry. Under British rule, the people were forced back into Christianity. Many of the people still practiced Islam in secret though. Under British rule, many of the people were forced into slavery and forced to produce and harvest poppy plants for Opium. The first governor of Ubeki was Colonel Chadwick Harrisington the 6th from 1817-1825. Chadwick gave his guards a complementary weekend off to see family back in England, that is when a small group of Muslim extremist attacked Colonial headquarters and killed Colonel Chadwick. The next and best known governor of Ubeki was Colonel Henry Cogswellington 11th.

Colonial Rule Under Colonel Henry Cogswellington the 11th

The British governor and well acclaimed sack of shit, Colonel Cogswellington the 11th

Colonel Cogswellington became well known in England for being a sack of Shit, he stole from babies and taxed the poor. His shittiest move in England was when he framed an innocent man for conspiracy to conspire and had him hung at the gallows. This earned Cogswellington his position as colonel. Colonel Cogswellington became the best known governor of Ubeki because he killed Osama Omar Alheki, the former and last king of Ubeki. This made Colonel Cogswellington the undisputed ruler at the time. He ruled for a decade before having any trouble from the rebellious citizens of Ubeki, which was temporarily renamed, "The United English People's Colonization Of The Ununited People's Divided Republic Of Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan". The British government allowed Cogswellington more soldiers due to his outstandingly good track record and sent him 5,000 additional troops (that was worth a lot more back then). The reinforcements only lasted a few months though, as the Ubekian's grew in number and in strength. Cogswellington became very worried and appointed 10 body guards to guard his body at all times, day and night (they took shifts, smart ass). In 1838, Cogswellington's fort was attacked and all his men were killed. The Ubekian people then captured Colonel Cogswellington and held him for ransom. The British government sent a negotiator and a few of the country's elite soldiers to Ubeki. The negotiator presented a phony document guaranteeing their freedom. The negotiator handed them the document, shook hands and took Colonel Cogswellington into custody, then ran off with his soldiers and Cogswellington yelling "ha ha, thats a fake document!!". The Ubekians were pissed. After being taken into custody, Cogswellington was striped of his rank and position as the governor of Ubeki. Cogswellington then was sodomized by all members of Parliament, which subsequently his father was a member of. Cogswellington was then sentenced to 15 years in prison, where he died of age in 1846, he was 66 years old.

Colonial Rule Under General Chapsdick Lickbourg

General Chapsdick Lickbourg looking shnazzy

At this point, the British government thought that the governing of Ubeki was a man's job, so they upped the prerequisites from a rank of colonel to the rank of general. General Chapsdick Lickbourg was the man for the job, he had just returned from an expedition to the south, where he beat some Italians just for the fun of it. Even the people of England were quite fond of this man even though there were allegations of his apparent Homosexuality. General Chapsdick Lickbourg took the job without hesitation. He ruled even harder and even longer, which was the way he liked it (wink). Lickbourg's rule did not last long though (1838-1841). His soldiers always kept the rebels at bay and his wide spread tyranny was stupendous, but the British government felt that something was wrong, the government investigated and sent spies to monitor Lickbourg's activity, it was soon discovered that he was trading great sums of money and colonial immunity to Ubekian men for Sex. This enraged the government and they removed him from power, he would soon befall the same fate as Colonel Cogswellington, except that he was only sodomized by women to his great disgust. Unlike Cogswellington, he lived to see daylight again in the year 1856.

England now was undergoing a crisis, "who would rule Ubeki???" the English government was now regretting its decision on Cogswellington. For the next 5 years, British rule was enforced only by the soldiers. During this time, there was great success in the Ubekians effort to for freedom, and the Ubekians got away with a lot of shit. The British forces were crumbling with out the instruction of a General. In 1846 there would be a parliamentary vote for the next governor of Ubeki, the only two suitable men at the time were General Harry Cockington, and Colonel Stuart Frank, who they would have promoted if he won. Yes, they were getting desperate. General Harry Cockington won the position by a unanimous decision.

Colonial Rule Under General Harry Cockington

General Harry Cockington. Despite the name, he was among the most unflamboyant of all British men in history!

General Harry Cockington was delighted that he had won the position of Ubekian governor. Unlike the previous governor, Harry was Straight. It was fairly obvious that he was straight, he liked sports, hunting, and actually fought with his soldiers nor was he that fond of Tea or Teabags. General Harry Cockington's rule lasted from 1846-1881 (35 years). General Cockington set Ubeki straight. He did not tolerate for insubordination of any kind from citizens or his men. He imposed harsh laws, including "The Secret Practice Prohibition Act of 1847" which forbid anyone to secretly practice Islam. The first offence was punishable with a savage beating (by a savage of course) and up to 7 and 1/2 years in prison. The second offence was punishable with one savage beating per week for the duration of prison sentence (by the same savage of course) and up to 15 and 11/12 years in prison. Believe me, there was no third offence. There were no severe problems or uprisings during Cockington's rule, in fact, the British government gained an excellent upper hand. General Cockington's rule of Ubeki ended when he retired in his old age. The British government rewarded him by allowing one shag with the queen. He went down in history in a list of "Great Britain's 100 Greatest Generals" as number 84. Cockington died in 1908 of old age (97 years old). This was another time of distress for England. England had a great system of lower level military in the colony, so this bought them some time to select a new general. This selection process was not as complex as the last one, it had been 35 years since the Great General Crisis. The process only took 3 years this time. During the three years, Cockington's soldiers upheld his rule in respect for him. Cockington even offered his assistance for months at a time during the selection process. In 1884, a new Governor was selected. Sadly though, this governor would not live up to or any where close to General Cockiington's legacy.

Colonial Rule Under General Lance Cumstew

General Lance Cumstew, a very effective governor

General Lance Cumstew was selected for this term of oppression. Lance Cumstew was a war hero of the sort, he was also gay, but in good terms with government because he only performed sodomy on the enemies of the British, and not for profit ether, like General Chapsdick Lickbourg. General Lance Cumstew's rule began in 1884, General Cumstew was a fearful leader, though he was fearful, he had less effect on his men and citizens since they feared him and didn't respect him. He has had several assassination attempts on him, all failures. General Cumstew repealed certain laws regarding Ubekian employment, letting them work at jobs instead of just being slaves. Thats right, he repealed Ubekian slavery for 66% of the population. The other third of the population, chosen by a drawing were still forced to work. Cumstew also amended the punishments for practicing Islam, instead of blank years of prison, the offender would be forced blank years in forced labor. General Cumstews rule lasted from 1884-1904 (20 years), he was wounded in an assassination attempt, after a 2 year hiatus he returned to power from 1906-1929 (25 years) when he died of old age (89 years old). General Cumstew was the longest lasting governor in Ubeki, a total of 47 years if you include his 2 year medical recovery from severed arm. General Lance Cumstew was a very unnoteworthy governor, since he accomplished jack shit. His lack of discipline resulted in a weakening of the colonial forces as well. The soldiers under his control were nowhere near as effective as General Cockington's soldiers. England was once again at a stand still for a new selection of governor. Parliament had no idea who to pick at the current time. 9 Years passed before a new governor was assigned. During this time, the English control was falling apart worse then ever before. England was almost certain it would lose the war until a presumably dead general returned to England after being lost in the woods for many years. General Tarkin Shagsmen was among the greatest of all generals in England's history. He was ranked number 32 on "Great Britain's 100 Greatest Generals"

Colonial Rule Under General Tarkin Shagsmen

General Tarkin Shagsmen, the last colonial governor of Ubeki, and yes, this is a shameful Star Wars reference

General Tarkin Shagsmen took office in Ubeki in the year 1938. General Tarkin Shagsmen reversed most of General Cumstew's laws. General Shagsmen had trouble maintaining an image. It was now unacceptable for a country to colonize in this fashion, and since the previous long lasting general paved the way, General Shagsmen had to be careful of what he did. He was careful not to let his policies be discovered by the media, a few years into his rule he even banned the media. But this did not stop reporters from sneaking in. It was due to media banishment that Ubeki gained global attention. There was now a great deal of speculation concerning the well being of Ubeki. General Tarkin Shagsmen did not let this discourage him though, he was now in fight mode. Shagsmen did what ever he could to prevent access to the country. The British Government even offered him more soldiers for boarder enforcement. General Shagsmen gained a reputation for personally executing anyone caught sneaking into the country, granted that they got passed boarder control. Under his rule, an estimate of 7 news reporters were killed by him. After about 12 years in office, the people of Ubeki declared war on the British. General Shagsmen was shocked and appalled. General Shagsmen lead his men to war and kicked Ubekian ass. The Ubekians would have to surrender until they gained the aide of the neighboring Muslim nations. General Tarkin tried to maintain his rule, but he was killed in combat in the year 1951. But just because he was dead did not mean the war was over. General Tarkin Shagsmen was a brilliant leader and caused a great deal of sorrow for the British people, he was a well renounced war hero and the face of dirty politics. General Tarkin was probably the most fearsome of all the governors that governed Ubeki. It was later discovered that General Tarkin Shagsmen embezzled from the tax dollars of Ubeki. Luckily for him, he was dead when this scandal was discovered.. or not, they really loved that guy.


In 1952, England was at a full scale war with Ubeki. The war lasted to 1957. Great Britain appointed several generals to lead their forces. It would almost seem that Ubeki would lose the war, even the worst mathematicians could see that the numbers were not on the Ubekian's side. During the war, Pakistan and Mamasaymamasamamakoosa offered its assistance to the crumbling nation. It was with the neighboring Muslim's help that the Ubekians gained a fighting chance. The war did not gain much media attention becasue is was apparent that England would lose custody of the nation as they did with America. The war was long and drawn out, not much unlike sex in England. During 1956, the Ubekians finally gained an upper hand when they eliminated a great mass of British forces. The British struggled to stay in power for the next year and had to surrender control of the country back to the Ubekians. The English government wrote a treaty basically reiterating over and over with confusing political mumbo-jumbo the following summary by the same Brit who would not clearly understand his own incompetent writing:

“"Our peoples may still inhabit the land and our people must have legal eligibility to run for office in the exchange for the liberation of the country of "Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan"”

~ Some British sack of shit summarizing the peace treaty.

Most of the British and as well as most of the Ubekians agreed that the treaty was fair. The treaty's protection of the British was not very effective for many years to come due to the discrimination policies that were enforced not even a week after liberation.

Now that Ubeki was a free nation, it was time to establish a government. The Ubekian nobles then united together to discuss the nations political formation. After much debate, the nobles decided that the country should be ran as a democracy, given that the people of the country have almost the same opinion on everything as everyone else including the foreseeable government. The Ubekian elders wrote a constitution and established leadership in the form of elected officials. The Ubekian elders then appointed its first president by a vote between the elders. The first president of Ubeki was Jafaar Amir Hakalugie who took office in 1958. Jafaar was a well known war hero, responsible for the defeat of many British soldiers. Jafaar ran the country quite well and was elected for a second term (the political system mirrored America's).

Building An Economy And National Development

Workers taking an undeserved break, get back to work you lazy middle class rats!

In 1962 after Jafaar's reelection, Jafaar thought it would be important to build economically. He and his delegates discussed ways to do, and the answer was so obvious that its a miracle that America isn't doing it now, exporting and production! Jafaar assessed the country's natural resources and learned that country's habitat was only good for growing Onions, Beats, and Potatoes. Jafaar instantly realized that this would be "no good". After much thought Jafaar decided that the country would make money the same way it was making money for the British for the past centuries, by harvesting Opium. Jafaar also thought it would be a good idea to export manufactured drugs as well, such as LSD and PCP. Jafaar's plan for economic growth was very successful due to the drug craze that pretty much fueled the 60's. Jafaar was a very accomplished president by the end of his second term. In 1966 the newly and first elected president, Ruben Sav finished the economic reconstruction of the country by legalizing the manufacturing of every drug, excluding Marijuana and Shrooms, the most dangerous and deadly of all drugs. Ruben's first term went well and the people of Ubeki were pleased.

The 1970's was a great time for the Ubekian People. The nation was just coming together. The economy was running well, almost everyone had a job. Thanks to the drug manufacturing plants, Ubeki could now build public schools and pave their roads, which created even more jobs. Almost everyone in Ubeki was able to feed their mouths and wipe their asses. At this time, Ubeki formed good relations with the neighboring countries of Pakistan and Mamasaymamasamamakoosa, which was the begining of the "Consortium Of Muslim Nations". The consortium of Muslim nations was a formation of Muslim nations that agreed to help each other out in times of need. In other words, the Muslim nations formed a gang. When Ruben's presidency ended, the country was better than it had ever been. The next president to take office was Kumar Salamiaki. Kumar continued Ruben's plans to improve the country, but he did not do so well in his efforts. Kumar was stupid and did not know how to be president. He did not do anything to help Ubeki move forward. Kumar's term ended in 1978, which the whole country was happy for. Kumar was the first president to serve one term. The next president, Omar-Won-Kenobi brought the country even further into prosperity. Omar, enabled corporate corruption which would allow Ubeki to catch up with America. Ubeki now allowed other countries to establish factories there for cheap labor and to establish "residencies" to avoid taxes. Omar used the money that he was paid with by Goldman Sachs to strengthen the army to begin a secret project that is believed to be the development of weapon's of mass destruction. In 1986, Omar's term was over be he didn't want it to be. Omar began a dictatorship of the country, even though it was what almost everyone agreed with. Omar began sending military to other countries in attempts to spread terrorism.

Omar's rule ran for another three years until he was assassinated by the current ruler whose face and name are unknown, even to the people of Ubeki, his self proclaimed nickname is "Spino" pronounced "spine-oh". He wears a black cloak that covers his face. Spino's first act of business was to eliminate ties with Pakistan. Spino ordered attacks on the nation and ever since started a long rivalry. It is speculated the Spino did this because of their links with Al Qaeda. Spino hated Al Qaeda and thought of them as inferior. Spino began terrorizing America in the 90's by attacking bases outside of the country. Spino has also been known to be behind attacks in England and just about all other countries inhabited mainly by White people.

Rise To Power

Herman Cain's answer, under the hood

In the late 90's Spino had built a grand army. The economy of Ubeki was at an all time High thanks to the popularity of Kurt Cobain and Heroine (drug) use. Ubeki has been under pressure from the United Nations ever since it was discovered in 1998 that Ubeki is behind the production of over 60% of all the worlds Drugs for the past 30 years. Between 1999 and 2000, there was rumor that Ubeki was going to attack America. People were frantic and in constant fear. Lucky for them, they did get attacked, but not by Ubeki. After the 9/11 attacks on the twin towers, Spino thought it would be in his and the country's best interest if the country tried to keep a low profile. During the next few years, it is globally believed that Ubeki secretly obtained weapons of mass destruction. Ubeki's representative, Brigid-eared General Patrick Stump has denied the accusations on several occasions. Ubeki's territory has expanded since Spino's rule. Spino has formed relationships with North Korea and China, to the American's dismay. In 2003 over 5000 Drug mules where caught with drugs they obtained in Ubeki. In 2004, the Ubekian government began executing journalist who entered the country, which was one of many colonial policies that was revived by Spino.

The Vice President, ironically, he use to adventure with wealthy Americans

Ubeki's current vice president, Hadji Quest, was appointed in 2007, his responsibilities included: lying to the FBI, lying to the CIA, lying to every nation with an inquiry of anything and Everything concerning Ubeki, pirating music, capturing random Americans, testing out new torturing mechanisms on the captured Americans, lying, drug dealing, trying to figure out a better way to spell the name of the country, lying, and fetching sex slaves for Spino, oh, almost forgot, lying. Vice President Hadji Quest has helped organize terrorist attacks with Brigid-eared General Patrick Stump, many of which were hilariously unsuccessful. The formation and conspiration of the terrorist attacks consist of: Orders and demands from Spino, then months of planning, with lack of hindsight by Hadji Quest, and then, usually, a failed attempt at executing the plans by Brigid-Eared General Patrick Stump. Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan has become a highly feared nation in the past years, but only to Europe, because Ubeki has yet to attack the United States. In early 2008, Ubeki declared war on Greece, and inadvertently caused their economic crash, which that it self inadvertently caused of England's current stock market problems. In a related matter, it is believed that Ubeki secretly caused the crash of the American economy in order to weaken the American forces and to diminish public focus. In late 2008, Ubeki took advantage of America's economic disadvantage and blatant ignorance, and declared war on the tech savvy nation. Ubeki is now a feared, and destructive terrorist nation that makes the weak Shit their pants just upon hearing it's name, making it the most powerful word (full name only) in history, even surpassing the mention of Lord Voldemort. Luckily for George W. Bush, this all took place just before the end of his presidential term.


The Ubekian people share a rich, yet overly used Muslim/Islam/Hindu culture that is shared by just about every soviet republic, which name ends in "Stan" and/or possesses crude Oil. There is hardly anything unique about the nation of Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan or its hideous people. Everyone dresses the same, women cant show even a square inch of skin, men have full dominance, and the penalty for shoplifting is removal of hand, by butcher knife. There is only one distinguishing factor in the Ubekian culture, that would be the Ubekian's blatant honesty regarding their hate towards the American people. The roots of the Ubekian person's morals link back to a long suppressed animosity caused by British suppression which indirectly caused the moral decay of the currently suppressing people and government of Ubeki. In other words, everyone blames the British kid for what has become of this nation.

The Ubekians conforming to all the other "blank"-Stans.

The average Ubekian man, can be found sporting a stylish towel on his head. He usually has a long curly thick black beard which is easily comparable to Pubic hair. The Ubekian man is known to wear unnecessarily concealing robes even though most Ubekian men have nothing to conceal (wink) ((Highlighted for the comedically illiterate)). Most Ubekian men carry a copy of the Qur'an and a knife so they can kill anyone who does not share their believes. The average Ubekian woman is covered head to toe, in rags, towels, and robes, hiding everything except for the eyes, and even sometimes, they are encouraged to wear Sun Glasses. She usually has a long curly thick black beard which is easily comparable to Pubic hair, due to religious custom banning shaving. Sex is forbidden unless conception is the initial purpose of such vile disgusting hairy acts. Civil punishment for disobeying any law of the land, Qur'an, or spoken word of a man (if your a woman) results in torture, death, or sex with Rush Limbaugh if the crime is sever enough.

The Ubekian people's ethnic food is similar to Pakistan, Iran, and Iraq. The signature dish is the "Road Kill Falafel" served with a side of radioactive rice and perhaps a glass of contaminated "mineral" water. The Ubekian people do not have many holiday's that don't concern with the Muslim religion, the only few holidays unrelated to religion are: "Spino Day, independence Day, and "Burn the American Flag Day". At their celebrations, religious or not, it is typical to eat the most ethnic of foods and hunt down infidels, and to burn the American flag on "Burn the American Flag Day". On all holidays it is mandatory to shutdown all business of any sort, including government, unless a nation emergency were to take place.

Current Events

The Currency Crisis(On-going)- The Currency Crisis has been a slowly ongoing and growing problem. The problem began after the end of British colonization. The only currency that Ubeki had known was the old English currency consisting of Pounds, Shillings, Sickles, etc. After gaining independence, the Ubekian people continued to use this currency, the problem was though, that the population was growing, as well as the economy, but there wasn't enough currency in circulation to satisfy the growth of Ubeki. This caused for an almost instant switch to the Euro. This instant switch did not allow for any adaption, therefor the government allowed the old currency to ether be traded in or accepted, but illegal for payment of wages. The current problem began when the idiotic secretary of treasury decided to introduce the new national currency, Kibbles 'N Bits, which consisted of 1 Kibble equaling 100 bits. This new currency has thrown the conversions out of whack especially due to the old English currency being disputed over value. The three legal currencies have cause many civil issues what have raised even more confusion due to inflation. Vice President Hadji Quest has stated that the government has the best people on the job even though nothing has been done in over 5 years.

Conflict With Pakistan(On-Going)- In 2007, tensions between Pakistan and Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan rose due to a dispute involving nuclear weapons. Pakistan has accused the secret service of Ubeki of stealing their nuclear weapons and radioactive materials. Pakistan has declared war on Ubeki, but Ubeki declined the disgruntled nation's challenge, as if they can do that. Pakistan has sent soldiers to attack, but Ubeki's ally, Mamasaymamasamamakoosa has sent military aide to enable Ubeki's current agenda against America.

Declaration Of War(On-Going)- In late 2008, Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan declared war on the United States of America. Ubeki has tried to air bomb America on several occasions, but has failed thanks to the United States Air Force. In early 2009, after president Barack Obama's inauguration. President Barak Obama, has sent troops to Ubeki to do combat with their army and to hopefully infiltrate the country and kill its current leaders. This has been an on going attempt though, and neither side has gained much of an upper hand or anything remotely close to a victory. Obama has met with the Vice President Hadji Quest and on another occasion with the Brigid-Eared General Patrick Stump in attempts to diplomatically conduct business, but nothing has come of these meetings. Barak Obama has vowed to end the war before he leaves office. Very vague words, he could leavee office in a year, or perhaps five.

Where In The World Is Spino?(Resolved)- In April 2010, it was discovered that Spino had not been seen by family, friends, coworkers, or slaves for over a month. His sudden disappearance was unexplained or announced. During this Time, Vice President Hadji Quest took office, and ceased all attempts to attack America. It was first speculated that America had secretly killed Spino, but that was not the case, because the American's were just as confused and believed it was a diversion. Temporary President Hadji Quest publicly announced that it was most likely that Spino was on a business trip, and did not want his foreseen long absence to be discovered. Unluckily for him, it was. Spino was missin from believably Early March 2010 - July 2011. His explanation for his absence was that he was receiving martial arts instruction from Mr. Miyagi. Attempted attacks on America have since continued.


  1. There is no such country as Uzbekistan. A false fact created by Russians in the 19th century.

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