Morocco
المغرب al-Maġhrib People's Democratic Federal Islamic Socialist Communist Juche Republic of Mörøccó Morah Co. | |||||
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| Motto: "Here's looking at you, Allah." | |||||
| Anthem: I wish I was European by Flock of Seagulls | |||||
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| Capital | Rabbit | ||||
| Largest city | Casablanka | ||||
| Government | Monarchy | ||||
| King | Mohammed version 6.0 | ||||
| National hero(es) | Humphrey Bogart, Jean Reno, Morocco Mole | ||||
| Declaration of Independence |
1956 from France and Spain | ||||
| Currency | MAD Money | ||||
| Religion | Muslim (98%), Christians (1%), Jewish (token%), Hindus (Yeah right%). | ||||
“I do love a nice pair of Moroccos. Nice and round and smooth to the touch.”
“Can I borrow your pen?”
Morocco is a nation located in northwest Africa (disputed).
Morocco is a major non-NATO ally of the United States, which means that although Morocco is an Islamic country, the US can be friends with it. Morocco is also the only African country that is not currently a member of the African Union, meaning that Morocco hates Africa and wants to be considered European. Who wouldn't?
Name[edit]
Before Morocco was even officially a nation, early visitors would arrive home describing the lovely women, and their large moroccos. To promote tourism, they formed national borders, and called themselves Morocco. Shortly thereafter, National Geographic photographers arrived, to the pleasure of many young readers at home.
History[edit]
Ancient Morocco[edit]
The area of modern Morocco has been inhabited since over 9,000 years ago, or pre-Arab times (now referred to as the Good Ol' Days).
Neolithic cavemen first arrived to farm the area. Later on, the Romans arrived, and celebrated by lighting their infamous roman candles. As usual, this "accidentally" burned the crops to the ground, causing famine in the area. But it was soooooo worth it - as it was quite a show!
In the 5th century, as the Roman Empire declined, Morocco fell to Vandals.
Medieval Morocco[edit]
In 670 AD, it was the Arabs' turn to invade Morocco. There was heavy promotion of the Islamic faith, with intervals of beachgoing. Of course, with the women covered from head to toe, the morocco-watching on the beaches was in large decline. Tourism suffered. Sadly, Morocco instead became a center of learning and a major regional power.
Alaouite Dynasty[edit]
Morocco was the first nation, in 1777, to recognize the United States as an independent nation. Thus, everyone in the world who has learned this, now hates Morocco. Admit it, you do now too.
American merchant ships were subject to attack by the Barbary pirates while sailing the Atlantic Ocean, until on 20 December 1777, Morocco's Sultan Mohammed version 3.0 began protecting them. To pay back Morocco for their favour, Benjamin Franklin would visit Morocco, play his glass harmonica, and share it with others.
The United States consulate in "Tangiers" (detached from Europe and attached to Morocco in 1684) is the first property the American government ever owned abroad, ever. Thus began the expansionism that continues today.
Modern Morocco[edit]
Newly declassified documents have revealed a colossal and complex intelligence program within Morocco dating from the 1960s. Crack secret agent Morocco Mole coordinated with world-famous agent Secret Squirrel to take down enemies of world peril. Due to their top-secret status, their exploits were trivialized into cartoon form, but their epic struggles will not be forgotten.
As of its 2001 release date, the first person shooter known as TWAT includes side missions taking place in Northern Africa. The 'Salafist Group for Preaching and Combat' is allied with Al-Qaeda, and has been creating an insurgency against Morocco.
Sales of this game were initially high in Morocco, but unfortunately returns for store credit were equally high because the Internet rumours proved false: Morocco Mole is NOT an unlockable character in the game.
Geography[edit]
Morocco is among the top 100 largest countries in the world; comparable to Maldives, and is somewhat larger than the US state of Rhode Island.
The most notable structures are located in Casablanka (shown right). Blanka himself has informed us that his house is Green, as it is completely self-powered! Blanka also owns a summer home in southern Brazil.
Africa Dispute[edit]
Morocco officially disputes being part of Africa at all.
Morocco declares that Morocco is a Mediterranean island temporarily attached to the tip of Africa. Morocco argues that if England, which is an island, can be part of Europe, then it can be part of the Mediterranean.
Economy[edit]
“A king with weed is a king indeed!”
Morocco ranks among the world’s largest producers and exporters of cannabis, and its cultivation and sale provide the economic base for much of the population of northern Morocco. The cannabis is typically processed into hashish. An ancient law (excerpted above) gives the king permission to grow marijuana in a specific region of Morocco.
Culture[edit]
When Morocco recently was swollen and had a fever, the King (Mohamed Ali Semlali) ordered a throat culture, which has shown that Morocco was positive for Group A streptococcus. It appears as though Morocco has strep throat, which is the King's fault due to his extremely long neck. Antibiotics are being administered, and he is expected to make a full recovery, but tourists are asked to avoid Morocco for several weeks during its contagious period.
Cuisine[edit]
Morocco leads the world in the consumption of munchies. It is the primary import. This is because Morocco leads the world in cannabis production.
Chicken is the most widely eaten meat in Morocco. The blacks love the chicken. KFC attempted to open a franchise in Morocco once, but all of the employees got high and ate the chicken. It was a disaster.
Couscous is the most famous Moroccan dish. Couscous is a pasta consisting of spherical granules made by rolling and shaping moistened semolina wheat and then coating them with finely ground wheat flour.
Apart from that the people in morocco actively take part in Snail eating competitions. Snails are a favorite snack for the moroccans like Cheetos for the rest of the world, a moroccan would rather pop in a snail and much on 'em
Literature[edit]
Since 1827, the modern history of Moroccan literature is evidenced in photographic form, the most historically popular of which was eventually carried to the Casbah and turned into a public library. If you do not have the funds to travel to Morocco to visit, you can instead purchase an issue of BraBuster Magazine, and have a friend sign the pages before you view them.
During the 1950s and 1960s, Morocco was a refuge and artistic center and attracted writers as Paul Bowles, Tennessee Williams and William S. Burroughs.
With the recent invention of Gigantic Breast implants, Moroccan literature flourished, with novelists such as Mohamed Choukri, who wrote in Arabic, and Driss Chraïbi who wrote in French. Other important Moroccan authors include Tahar ben Jelloun, Fouad Laroui, Mohammed Berrada and Leila Abouzeid.
Music[edit]
Moroccan music is predominantly of Arab origins. Therefore, popular Western forms of music are becoming increasingly popular in Morocco, such as fusion, rock, metal, country and lately hip hop and Zanga Zanga.
Dancing to Western music is legal, but it is currently illegal to dance to music of Arab origin, due to the fear that this will increase the spread of Belly dancing.
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