Main Page/Beta

Welcome to Uncyclopedia the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit

Politics Games Music

Science History Art

Television Film Theatre

Society People All Portals

Today's featured article Today's featured article – Mike Pence Michael Richard "Mike" Pence (born June 7, 1959) was the 48th Vice President of the United States from 2017 to 2021, under Donald Trump's administration. At a young age in Indiana, he was known as a hero for killing Bigfoot and burning the corpse despite several tough air-pollution laws. It was through this feat and holding multiple political offices that Pence earned a reputation as thoroughly Godly — and thoroughly boring. The former means it would be awesome if he were elected President. The latter guarantees he never will be. Pence was born in Christopher Columbus, Indiana. It was when he turned 7 that he wrestled Bigfoot and won, an achievement that would be praised by his family and hometown for years to come. He graduated from Indiana University with a degree in Electroshock Therapy. Pence started off as a Democrat who voted for Jimmy Carter in the 1980 election, but later found religion and became a born-again Christian. He eventually screwed enough people over to not only serve in the U.S. Congress from 2001 through 2013, but to be occasionally mentioned as a candidate for President. (more...) Recently featured: Ahsoka (TV series) Dolly Parton The Man from U.N.C.L.E. Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Ahsoka (TV series) Star Wars: Ahsoka, or just Ahsoka, while also referred to as Star Wars Rebels Season 5, is an American limited-series written, directed, produced and created by Dave Filoni. It is set within the Star Wars franchise, acting as the second spin-off from 2019's The Mandalorian, with the first being 2021's The Book of Boba Fett. It also serves as a continuation of the animated shows Star Wars: The Clone Wars and Star Wars Rebels, while also being a prequel to the other animated show Star Wars Resistance (which nobody watched, anyway). The thing that these five shows, six if you include Ahsoka, have in common is that Dave Filoni was behind all of them — in more ways than one. (more...) Did you know... *... that your Windows computer is still updating? ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?

Word of the Day procrastination Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. In the news Beatles complete sequel trilogy Swimsuit round added to vote for Speaker (pictured) Michigan State rebrands athletic teams Hashtag brings Mideast peace TX governor to wall off NM Trudeau has an Oh Canada! moment Oh, so THAT's what this leading candidate must have been thinking! India finally gets moon landing right Freedom poses rhetorical questions, remains unemployed Trump faces the Indictment gang Column: I had a birthday and you need to know it Bar fight breaks out at formal fundraising dinner party Uncyclopedia rebrands as "Y" Trump plans new game show Aussie police have an American moment On this day... December 3: World Structural Engineering Day 2542 BCE - Egyptian Pharaoh Khufu commands that a round tower be built as his tomb. Engineers and the constructors build a giant pyramidal structure instead following earlier practices. After a facepalm, Khufu requests the engineers and construction managers to inspect the structure's interior, then seals them all inside. He then buys a plot at Forest Lawn, where he rests today. 422 BCE - Ancient Greece develops the concept of ethics. This would be ignored by structural engineers and most people throughout history. 24 CE - Jesus becomes a carpenter but many of his projects would be denied licenses without approval by structural engineers. Luckily, the cross He will be crucified on is fast-tracked by Roman engineers. 901 - Vikings remove the horns from their helmets due to attacks by amorous bulls and nearsighted toreadors. 1173 - The foundation is laid for the Tower of Pisa; and the building almost immediately begins to tilt. Historians investigating the cause found original plans which had the name of the architect and the construction company cut out. They suspect the Mafia to be responsible as that group controls not only construction companies but picture postcard sales of the tower as well as every image of it on Getty or Shutterstock. 1923 - Bumblebees are forced to walk everywhere as calculations show they should not be able to fly. 1940 - Engineers fresh from building thrill rides at Coney Island and Palisades Park supervise the completion of their design of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. They decide to spice up the trip for commuters, exceeding their best efforts at the aforementioned amusement parks. (pictured) The U.S. government would later enlist the engineers in the war effort by having them volunteer for tank and aircraft construction in Germany and Japan. 1989 - The Stone Roses band writes a song that says they "want to be a door". 2013 - The 2.2 mile (3.5 km) eastern section of the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge is completed with a cost overrun of only US$6.25 billion. With all of its subsequent problems, the bridge section has now been slightly downgraded to allow 35 cars an hour in each direction, and will stand up to winds of up to 10 mph (16 kph) and earthquakes of 3 on the extended wimp scale. Engineers assure that it will withstand an asteroid impact on Jupiter. Resistance to kaiju attack has not been addressed. 2018 - The SR 99 tunnel, created by boring a huge tunnel under Seattle, was celebrated at its opening by a crowd on the Viaduct, which not only had no toll and a view, but would later be torn down in favor of the toll tunnel.

Today's featured picture The M822 Hand Grenade is an explosive device that resembles a hand. On activation, the device lunges towards the nearest throat or throat-like object and latches on tight with its five "fingers" exploding violently in a gruesome mess. Special care must be taken when activating the grenade. When activated, one should run behind the nearest wall or bush and squat down, so that the grenade cannot "see" you. Photo credit: Mosquitopsu Archive - Nominate new image

Recent Articles Henry Kissinger (pictured)| Sandra Day O'Connor | Battle for Dream Island | Rastadon | Quintana Roo | Digestive system | The Sims 4 | Ahsoka (TV series) | King Charles II | The Man from U.N.C.L.E.‎‎ | Antimony | William Pitt the Elder | Tally Hall | Ron DeSantis | Bugatti Veyron‎‎ | Piggy | Kinky | Gwyneth Paltrow | Cordial | Why?:Didn't Australia warn America about 9/11 | Constantine IX | McLaren P1 | Bing AI • Google AI • ChatGPT | Bloons Tower Defense‎‎ | Christ on a bike | Dog whistle • Rape whistle | Impotence • Henry the Impotent More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.

	UnNews The news source on crack		Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia		Undictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
	UnTunes Where noisy things can live and prosper		Games Another way to waste time		HowTo Instructions and guides for anything and everything
	UnBooks Content-free books		Unquotable Useless misquotes galore		Uncycloversity If it makes sense, we don't want it
	UnPoetia Poetry for people who hate poetry		UnDebate Debating all the irrelevant issues		UnScripts We can ruin stage and film too
	Why? Don't make me explain it to you twice		UnReviews We'll tell you why things suck		UnBestiary Moo! Grrr! Narf! Harblesnock!
			UnCommons Broken media repository

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,183 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:

	Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 32194	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 55644	アンサイクロペディア 日本語 Japan 20675	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 18266	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14849
	Désencyclopédie Français France 10073	Inciclopedia Español Spain 5708	偽基百科 正體中文 Taiwan 6652	Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 14	Hikipedia Suomi Finland 8002
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're doing much better now; we simply can't be bothered.

Other Uncyclopedias

	백괴사전 한국어 South Korea 7103	ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย Thailand 3473	Pekepedia Tagalog Philippines 276	Bodohpedia Bahasa Melayu Malaysia 143	伪基百科 汉语 Commie China 8411
	איןציקלופדיה עברית Israel 2224	קיינציקלאָפעדיע יידיש Yiddish 11	Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia Indonesia 8281	Ndhablek Basa Jawa Java 4	Goblogpedia Basa Sunda Sunda 4
	Yansiklopedi Türkçe Turkey 873	اللاموسوعة العربية Iraq 1329	نانشنامه فارسی Iran 594	ანციკლ ოპედია ქართული Georgia 40	Uncyclopedia.km ភាសាខ្មែរ Cambodia 0
	Spademanns Leksikon Dansk Denmark 9618	Ikkepedia Norsk Norway 4685	Ikkjepedia Norsk (nynorsk) Norway	Psyklopedin Svenska Sweden 2549	Անգրագ իտարան Հայերեն Armenia 26
	Valenciclopèdia Català Andorra 582	Nunyepedia Asturianu Asturias 56	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 6213	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 47	আনসাইক্ল োপিডিয়া বাংলা Bangladesh 19
	Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά Greece 2853	Scotypedia Scots Scotland 9	Frithchiclipéid Gaeilge Ireland 11	ວິກິພີເດຍ ລາວ Laos 10	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 188
	Нециклопедија Српски Serbia 463	Neciklopedija Bosanski Bosnia 27	Neciklopediju Hrvatski Croatia 303	Butalopedija Slovenščina Slovenia 30	Википедија Македонски Macedonia 170
​	Oncyclopedia Nederlands Holland 3082	Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 19	Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3971	Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1899	Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1776
​	Оксипедия Български Bulgaria 258	Neciclopedie Română Romania 174	Uichipedia Молдовеняскэ Moldova 84	Інциклопедія Українська Ukraine 1177	Абсурдопедия Русский Russia 4303
​	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 158	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 276	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 4720	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 12
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

If you find Uncyclopedia or its sista projects amusing, please consider making a donation to help the victims of the War on Terra:

• International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies — various causes, including Asian floods, relief in the Middle East, Haiti, and aid for Hurricane Katrina to build a New New Orleans
• Disasters Emergency Committee — earthquake relief, Niger aid; ideal for mediocre British taxpayers as Gordon Brown gives a bit as well
• UNICEF — African AIDS relief, child health services, etc.
• Save Darfur — donate to help provide aid to the ongoing genocide in Darfur
• Donate to Japan. Seriously.

---

• Join Uncyclopedia's Folding@home Team — Help the world while doing very little work
• Free Rice of the UN World Food Program: play some games, feed hungry people

For nonsense related IRC chat, see this instructional video.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.

Main Page