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Today's featured article – Arthur Currie General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name. Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...) Recently featured: Star Trek Windows XP Switzerland Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Star Trek Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...) Idday ouyay owknay... ... that Red Bull gives you wings? ... but there are no color options? (pictured) ... that Uranus is a gas giant? ... that since many hands make light work, workers at nuclear power plants are encouraged to grow extras? ... Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? YOU HAVE THE UNCONTROLLABLE URGE TO PUT A PANCAKE ON YOUR HEAD ... the reason for 50% of modern marriages ending in divorce is because those people try to go to IKEA together for a relaxing afternoon? ... contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular? ... if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?

In the news Hegseth orders attack on the Moon (pictured) Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos Onay isthay ayday... April 15: Auditoria Begins (IRS) 1 BCE - The IRS meets; thousands mourn. 997 - King Æthelred the Unready finds himself in line at the post office near midnight to send in his request for an extension and suddenly realizes he's not an American. 1612 - Cotton Mather, in the midst of a bad day, has a revelation that leads to the foundation of a new faith. 1726 - The potato chip invented; thousands gorge. 1912 - The Titanic is torpedoed by The Empire off the coast of Newfoundland. Icebergs are blamed. 1912 - Dozens of innocent Polar bears are severely injured as their iceberg is struck by an overrated piece of metal. 1920 - The head of the IRS is arrested for tax evasion. Ironic, no? 1933 - Karl Marx and his brothers Lenny, Joey, and Leon star in the zany slapstick hit Opiate of the Molasses. (pictured) 1944 - The first weapon of mass destruction is invented in Switzerland, but nobody notices as it is made of cheese. 1947 - Jackie Robinson breaks the color barrier, then reimburses Major League Baseball for it. 2001 - Joey Ramone dies, taking straight-ahead rock 'n' roll with him. Black leather jacket sales plummet. 2014 - The US Air Force begins bombing US cities as they have already bombed every other place on the planet.

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[vote] ShitterParadox.png ShitterParadox.png - 12 total votes ( 13 / 1 ) You know what they say, "You can't shit a shitter". But M.C. Escher will be damned if he didn't try! Image credit: KneeChee27

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,400 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:

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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're doing much better now; we simply can't be bothered.

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​	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 158	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 276	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 4720	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 12
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

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