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Today's featured article – Arthur Currie
General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.
Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.
Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)
Previously featured article – Star Trek
Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)
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Idday ouyay owknay...
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- ... you are in a maze of twisty little passages, all different? (pictured)
- ... Mister Rogers was not a Navy SEAL as rumored but a sea lion in disguise?
- ... that some of us are old enough to remember when there were only 3 elements in the Periodic table? Oh yeah, earth, wind, fire and water, so 4.
- ... the Earth is indeed hollow, but you might fall off the edge trying to find the entrance?
- ... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
- ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
- ... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
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In the news
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Onay isthay ayday...
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May 22: Sit Around and Watch Old Movies Day
- 10000 BCE - First May 22 recorded by Che Guevara.
- 1888 - Start your own Reich day, in Germany.
- 1936 - Joseph Stalin enters tie-dye phase. It lasts one day.
- 1976 - Death toll from an accident at yesterday's Annual Fart Lighting Festival in Natchez, Mississippi rises to 103.
- 1984 - (10:00 am) Soviet Forces invade Colorado, US lets them because nobody cares about Colorado.
- 1984 - (10:05 am) Soviet Forces return Colorado to American control and retreats after realizing there's nothing in Colorado. Again nobody cares.
- 1999 - First AOL CD sent back in time.
- 2001 - Clustered bonbons in a freezer briefly develop sentience; first thing they see is Gigli, commit suicide.
- 2007 - Emeril Lagasse gives up on cooking, decides to become demolition expert.
- 2011 - Life continues as if it didn't just end the day before.
- 2034 - Walt Disney utters antisemitic remark in his grave.
- 3026 - Che Guevara finds the All Spark and brags to all the Decepticons. The Decepticons later shred him.
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Oday'stay eaturedfay icturepay
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[vote]
| GalleryofWTF.png - 5 quid for entrance ( 5 / 0 )
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The 21st century realist art left many masterpieces. The Gallery of World's Tableaux of Fame hosts many artworks from different parts of the world.
Image credit: 90s Kid21
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Iterwray anday Oobnay ofay ethay Onthmay
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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