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Today's featured article – Switzerland

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Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling.

At the beginning of time, Switzerland was a small moon orbiting the Earth, populated entirely by cows, sheep, and shepherd dogs; it is now thought to be where those creatures came from in the first place and it was known as tobleronistan.

Location of Switzerland, according to CNN. Due to continental drift, the country now lies south of Germany.

After being sent down to Earth, having fallen behind on sky-high rent, Switzerland came to be located south of Germany, bordering France, Italy, Australia and Liechtenstein. Switzerland annexed Czechia in 1990 because the country got too cramped and stuff is cheaper in eastern Europe, although today most Swiss are known to have trillions of dollars in the bank. (more...)

Previously featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon

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St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland. (more...)

Idday ouyay owknay...

14122009.jpg
  • ... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (pictured)
  • ... I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille.
  • ... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
  • ... the Treaty of Ghent includes a clause that neither Americans nor the British are allowed to push in the backs of chocolates to see what's inside, then put them back in the box?
  • ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
  • ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
  • ... that he who hesitates is lost?
    • ... but you should look before you leap?

In the news

Onay isthay ayday...

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January 22: National Cover-Up Day (USA)

  • 1012 - The second coming does not happen.
  • 1492 - Nothing happens. You didn't see anything, so it doesn't count.
  • 1776 - The United States of America was always unquestionably free.
  • 1812 - We have reasonable cause to attack.
  • 1847 - The United States retaliates against a Mexican surprise attack.
  • 1861 - The United States is completely united.
  • 1965 - The United States irrefutably wins the Vietnam War in seven games.
  • 1974 - President Nixon finishes out his "optional" term of office.
  • 2001 - Heavy winds cause the World Trade Center towers to weaken.
  • 2003 - The United States irrefutably wins the War in Iraq in a 4-game whitewash.
  • 2005 - It is the policy of this Administration not to discuss ongoing investigations.
  • 2006 - Global Warming? What Global Warming?
  • 2007 - There is no Grand Conspiracy.
  • 2012 - The Mayan calendar is misinterpreted, since nobody is alive who still reads or speaks Mayan. Turns out they were talking about the end of a cycle rather than the end of the world.
  • 2021 - The Deep State and Antifa decide to battle it out with each other. Nobody notices because they are all hiding from Coronavirus in their bunkers.

Oday'stay eaturedfay icturepay


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CheckpointCharlieSign.png - 5 fugitive(s) ( 5 / 0 )
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Checkpoint Charlie was the only Berlin Wall crossing point where the authorities used humour as a weapon against those who tried to cross it.

Image credit: ScottPat

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Writer of the month.png
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


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Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared.png
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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