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Today's featured article – Mark Levin Mark Reed Levin (born September 21, 1957) is an American talk radio personality, host of The Mark Levin Show as well as a television show on Fox News. He has also written seven books. He specializes in current events, constitutional analysis authentic enough to make Wikipedia call it "incendiary," and his signature civil response to participants, including to adversaries he often invites to phone the show. And if you have a problem with that, buster, you can get the hell out of my article, you big dummy. He has been described as "right-wing" by rational statesmen like Mitt Romney and has occasionally insinuated that some in the Republican Party are not enamored of Republican policies but are "Republican In Name Only" (RINO). (more...) Recently featured: Bunsen burner Woolly mammoth Kalamazoo Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Bunsen burner A Bunsen burner is a flamethrower that has been bent so the nozzle faces upward. It is noticeably lighter than a military flamethrower. Bunsen burners are primarily gas-powered, with the exception of the Tesla coil. Bunsen burners are the weapon of choice in high-school chemistry labs. (more...) Idday ouyay owknay... ... that the toaster in Pulp Fiction is wanted in connection with at least 5 unsolved murders? (pictured) ... that no greater man hath subtriculated the monolith than the one who hath manifested odontological callioptery? ... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians? ... Fork Knife is a game about finding fine dining and making reservations during an apocalyptic Uncyclopedia split? ... and that the Battle Royale version has hundreds of Oscar Wildes throwing shade at each other? ... Aabye is a popular Danish name, with over a thousand people named Aabye Normal? ... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join? ... Hope springs eternal? Dammit, girl, can't you stand still for minute?

In the news Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government (pictured) I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear Pope Francis revealed to be chat-bot‎ Sunak soaked for General Election announcement Ferrell sues owner of look-alike dog Alfa Romeos to get even uglier Onay isthay ayday... Coffee Enema January 21: National Dirty Sanchez Your Dad's Coffee Day, Day of Tribulation 1000 BCE - Vikings land on an inhospitable island they call "Niv Iaerssei"; this event later forms the backbone of The Saga of Rigaatoni Pennesson. 1592 - Elmunsucío Sánchez Columbus discovers Atlantis, but loses the map. Thus it is lost for all eternity. 1654 - John Morrisey drinks too much coffee and gets a vision of a gigantic coffee empire, with himself riding on a male star deer. 1781 - Benedict Arnold, tired of being called "Eggs Benedict" by George Washington, sells out to the British. He later begins a travelling show, called Hey Arnold! 1850 - Millard Fillmore installs the White House's first bathtub. His staff does not criticize the action or location but just arrange to have shower curtains installed around the South Portico. 1915 - The first Kiwanis Club meeting. To this day they still can't figure out what their purpose is, but constantly argue over who has the better wife. 1933 - Gangsters use machine guns to fire thousands of slugs at police but quickly replace them with snails. 1991 - First ever Yo-Mama Joke is told. Violent bitch-slaps shortly follow. 1996 - Former Pink Floyd frontman Syd Barrett climbs the Empire State Building; some blonde chick knocks him off. 2000 - Aaron Copland conquers the Martians; historians vote this to be the "Best day... ever". 2008 - Tom Hanks falls off a bridge; there is much rejoicing. 2013 - Bob Barker dies from a Viagra overdose. 2036 - Tracy Morgan wins the gold medal in Olympic Stand-Up. Adam Sandler comes in third.

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[vote] Aoushot1.jpg Aoushot1.jpg - 22 total votes ( 30 / 8 ) A screenshot from Age of Umpires II: Age of Cricket. In this example, we see the classic "Shotgun-Seven" formation being used to maximum effect. Any good Umpire would note that this places a good deal of emphasis on the left side, making it easy enough to sneak in the stray foul wicket. Image credit: Hindleyite

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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	UnNews The news source on crack		Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia		Undictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
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Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,298 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:

	Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 32194	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 55644	アンサイクロペディア 日本語 Japan 20675	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 18266	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14849
	Désencyclopédie Français France 10073	Inciclopedia Español Spain 5708	偽基百科 正體中文 Taiwan 6652	Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 14	Hikipedia Suomi Finland 8002
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're doing much better now; we simply can't be bothered.

Other Uncyclopedias

	백괴사전 한국어 South Korea 7103	ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย Thailand 3473	Pekepedia Tagalog Philippines 276	Bodohpedia Bahasa Melayu Malaysia 143	伪基百科 汉语 Commie China 8411
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	Yansiklopedi Türkçe Turkey 873	اللاموسوعة العربية Iraq 1329	نانشنامه فارسی Iran 594	ანციკლ ოპედია ქართული Georgia 40	Uncyclopedia.km ភាសាខ្មែរ Cambodia 0
	Spademanns Leksikon Dansk Denmark 9618	Ikkepedia Norsk Norway 4685	Ikkjepedia Norsk (nynorsk) Norway	Psyklopedin Svenska Sweden 2549	Անգրագ իտարան Հայերեն Armenia 26
	Valenciclopèdia Català Andorra 582	Nunyepedia Asturianu Asturias 56	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 6213	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 47	আনসাইক্ল োপিডিয়া বাংলা Bangladesh 19
	Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά Greece 2853	Scotypedia Scots Scotland 9	Frithchiclipéid Gaeilge Ireland 11	ວິກິພີເດຍ ລາວ Laos 10	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 188
	Нециклопедија Српски Serbia 463	Neciklopedija Bosanski Bosnia 27	Neciklopediju Hrvatski Croatia 303	Butalopedija Slovenščina Slovenia 30	Википедија Македонски Macedonia 170
​	Oncyclopedia Nederlands Holland 3082	Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 19	Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3971	Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1899	Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1776
​	Оксипедия Български Bulgaria 258	Neciclopedie Română Romania 174	Uichipedia Молдовеняскэ Moldova 84	Інциклопедія Українська Ukraine 1177	Абсурдопедия Русский Russia 4303
​	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 158	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 276	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 4720	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 12
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

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