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Today's featured article – Woolly mammoth Woolly mammoth (a species of the genus Mammuthus) was a large shaggy beast that is a bit woollier than the Not-so-woolly Mammoth, and much woollier than the less common, Bald Mammoth, otherwise known as African and Indian elephants. These large mammals were known, from stamp indentations on their passports, to have lived all over the northern most parts of the world, rarely leaving their home territory; however they were thought to migrate south, at least once a year, for Mardi Gras. Further evidence suggests that they preferred to travel in small caravans, two to each mid-sized sedan in order to expedite their migration via the carpool lane. (more...) Recently featured: Kalamazoo Kalamazoo, Michigan Kristi Noem Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Kalamazoo Kalamazoo is a nonexistent city in southwestern Michigan. The state government, knowing it didn't have enough goofy-sounding towns like Kalkaska, invented Kalamazoo just to amuse people stuck in more conventionally named places like Detroit or Paw Paw. And even if it existed, there would be no zoo in Kalamazoo. A small Nature Interpretive Center, perhaps. (more...) Did you know... ... that Google has trained parrots to fly in and remove ESC keys from all keyboards for a "better internet experience", where you will never be able to leave certain pages? (pictured) ... that it was I who let the dogs out? ... Edward Scissorhands was never capable of running with scissors, much less a scissor? ... that Crime does indeed pay very well, especially after you get caught? ... that 92% of hipsters only purchase iPhones that are locally sourced? ... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves? ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?

In the news I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote (pictured) Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear Pope Francis revealed to be chat-bot‎ Sunak soaked for General Election announcement Ferrell sues owner of look-alike dog Alfa Romeos to get even uglier Ukraine minister charged with corruption French guard Buckingham Palace On this day... November 22: Conspiracy Theory Appreciation Day (not to be celebrated for some reason) 1932 - The first time machine is successfully tested and is sent to 2048. 1952 - In Guatemala, a CIA operation gives start to a era of brutal military dictatorships sponsored by the US government in Latin America ... wait... that's not funny... 1963 - President Kennedy is accidentally assassinated by an angry, confused polar bear. The bear plants the gun on a napping Lee Harvey Oswald and escapes in a get-away sled. Nobody looks into it very much. 1963 - Absolutely nothing happened. You hear me? Nothing. If you heard otherwise, it's a filthy Communist lie. 1965 - The Wachowskis are invented by The Matrix to steal future CGI secrets. 1968 - Stanley Kubrick begins secret filming of the Moon landing aided by space aliens and several people that live there. 1970 - The Million Cyberman March (pictured) is held in Washington, DC. Conspiracy theorists claim that it was actually a failed invasion from outer space. 1983 - America's largest tin foil hat manufacturer is shut down – at the same time as a record number of "communications satellites" are sent into orbit by NASA. 1985 - 1985th anniversary of going to bed on November 21 and waking up on November 23 mysteriously in a different position than when you went to sleep. 1986 - Hands Across America is celebrated at the same time as secret evidence is presented during the Iran-Contra trial. 1992 - Mossad agents from the future assassinate Sam Weaver in Ruby Ridge for "unknown reasons". 1997 - INXS lead singer Michael Hutchence debuts his hit single Noose Sensation. 2000 - Shadow Internet #1 created. Subsequent internets are created in the coming years. 2000 - John Titor stops by for a chat on his way back to 2136. 2005 - Federal government attempt to reduce surplus population in New Orleans; it fails with just over 700 deaths. 2006 - South Park exposes 2001 conspiracy as a conspiracy; Bush is found to be too stupid to blow up planes. 2048 - The first time machine is invented. 2066 - The second time machine is invented to go retrieve the crucial parts of the earlier time machine which blew up in New Orleans in 2005 causing 700 deaths.

Today's featured picture
A WWI-era Jarhead recruiting poster helped to bring many new recruits into the beloved US Marine Corps. Image credit: One-eyed_Jack

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