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Today's featured article – HowTo:Become a Pope Welcome. This is a print-out-and-keep guide if you fancy a career change. There is also available a translation in Latin. Now pray and read the rest of this guide. We are talking about you can Become a Pope. So let's fill you in with a bit of background. First you will have to be a Catholic and male. We know this may be an impediment to many of you but the church is very broad these days. The Popehood is open to all, but you do need to wear pants and not be a gossip. There is now a minimum and maximum age to become pope. You also need to be a cardinal to be a papal candidate, though that rule came in about 1,000 years ago. Since you can only become a cardinal once you reach your 35th birthday, that is now the minimum age to become pope. The maximum age for a pope is 80, a rule brought in only in the 1960s. (more...) Recently featured: Norse Korea Mark Levin Bunsen burner Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Norse Korea Norse Korea is a land shrouded in mystery, where the thunder of war echoes not only across its borders but also in the halls of Valhalla. The country's leader, Kim Jong Odin, is known for his legendary prowess in keeping a tight grip on the helm of his snowy kingdom — just as Thor would grip Mjolnir, only with slightly less thunderous applause. (more...) Did you know... ... that your little sister is bluffing only 38% of the time? (pictured) ... that no one ever reads these sentences all the way to the end, except for a select few, who have the diligence and patience, and are bored enough, to read to the very end of these very long, dull and uninteresting sentences? ... that there is no other word for thesaurus? ... that the Mayan colander was a drain on its civilization? ... the answer to this question? ... the number of users the admins have banned is considered the largest countable number since 1998? ... rattlesnakes no longer rattle a warning before striking but send a potential threat a tweet and attack when the threat is checking their phone?

In the news Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos (pictured) DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear Pope Francis revealed to be chat-bot‎ On this day... April 10: Smoke-'Em-if-Ya-Got-'Em Day 250 million BCE - While it is unclear whether the Siberian Traps were responsible for the Permian-Triassic extinction event, it is known that its volcanoes smoked up to 5 packs of unfiltered cigarettes a day while playing cards. 1490 - Juan Ponce de Leon discovers the Fountain of Youth in Florida, shrugs and sets up a retirement community around it. 1919 - Colombian guerrilla lord Juan Valdez invents coffee. 1926 - Polio victim FDR still can't feel his legs; So he feels up Lucy Mercer instead. This would cause friction at the Yalta Conference when he feels Stalin's hand on her leg. 1952 - Kellogg's Cereals introduces Atomic-O's claiming that there are "vitamins, minerals and Uranium257 in each glowing bite." 1959 - Basic Instinct starring Sharon Stone's nether regions is released. 1962 - Billy finds papa's smokes. He's got 'em, he smokes 'em. 1964 - Professor Andmaryann discovers coconuts. 1970 - Paul McCartney announces Beatles breakup, and everybody tokes. 1989 - PPPPPPPP Emma Pie is birthed, not in a galaxy far far away, but near your local convenience store dairy section. 1996 - Tired of being ridiculed by fans, Michael Jackson finally admits, yes, it does matter whether you're black or white, and to get a pay raise, he turns white. 2005 - Dennis Rodman's hair develops sentience, takes over South America. 2006 - MIT scientist discover that "crack iz wack". 2007 - Hundreds injured while trying to grab bargains at the After Easter Markdown Days Sale at KKK-Mart in Gritlyville, Missouri. "Oh, the humanity!" 2012 - Al Gore drops out of presidential race after revealing photos of him and Michel Moore trading carbon offsets is published in the German magazine Siegessaeule.

Today's featured picture
Richard Dawkins, leading atheist and crusader for science, begins to take his role too seriously and surprises us all with his worrying new look. Image credit: Seeker

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