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Today's featured article – Arthur Currie General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name. Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...) Recently featured: Star Trek Windows XP Switzerland Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Star Trek Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...) Did you know... ... that you only think you've never eaten a turtle egg? (pictured) ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else? ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%? ... the film Casablanca takes 102 minutes to tell the story of a guy who gets his ex and her husband to the airport? ... coin collecting does not consist solely of walking into banks with a mask and a gun? ... that the sport of water polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks? ... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?

In the news Hegseth orders attack on the Moon (pictured) Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos On this day... April 26: Hyperbole Day Millions of years ago - Hyperbole Day is founded in the most spectacular ceremony since the dawn of time. 1756 - The exclamation point is born on this fantastic day! 1834 - The best day in all of history! There'll never ever be another day like it! It's AMAZING! 1922 - Warren G. Harding's popularity is at an all time high! New York Times: "Harding is the best president ever!" 1935 - Champagne toasts and caviar dreams greet newborn Robin Leach! 1944 - Concentration camp deaths in Poland reach a new zenith! Hitler asks, "Who knew Jews could be so results oriented?" 1965 - The mildest day in the history of the universe. No other day was as mild. Ever. 1975 - The worst day in the history of the universe, so much so that no one mentions it and so we no longer know when it was. But we do know that it was some time between 1965 and 1988. 1986 - Ronald Reagan stays awake for an entire cabinet meeting! 1986 - The Chernobyl nuclear power plant randomly asploded after Cher poured vodka into the reactor instead of plutonium. 1988 - A group of the world most talented musicians come together to write the greatest song in the history of the world. It has a sound so astonishingly incredible and so incredibly beautiful that people come from all over the world just to hear it played at its one and only live performance at the grandest stadium in the world, the Metrodome. 1990 - Oprah is so hungry she could eat a horse. Twice! 2006 - Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy spews out sperm so high it touches the stars. 2011 - I just had sex! And it felt so good!!! Ya know a woman let me put my penis inside her!!! Say goodbye to cats!!!!! 2016 - You become a 1337 haxor for 5 seconds before going back to being a n00b.

Today's featured picture
Cookie Monster's last name becomes much more accurate when he is deprived of cookies... Image credit: Count of Monkey Crisco

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