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Today's featured article – Woolly mammoth

Woolly mammoth (a species of the genus Mammuthus) was a large shaggy beast that is a bit woollier than the Not-so-woolly Mammoth, and much woollier than the less common, Bald Mammoth, otherwise known as African and Indian elephants.

These large mammals were known, from stamp indentations on their passports, to have lived all over the northern most parts of the world, rarely leaving their home territory; however they were thought to migrate south, at least once a year, for Mardi Gras. Further evidence suggests that they preferred to travel in small caravans, two to each mid-sized sedan in order to expedite their migration via the carpool lane. (more...)

Recently featured:

Previously featured article – Kalamazoo

Kalamazoo is a nonexistent city in southwestern Michigan. The state government, knowing it didn't have enough goofy-sounding towns like Kalkaska, invented Kalamazoo just to amuse people stuck in more conventionally named places like Detroit or Paw Paw. And even if it existed, there would be no zoo in Kalamazoo. A small Nature Interpretive Center, perhaps. (more...)

Did you know ...

... that ancient Sumerian Fitbit records show that their gods were in extremely good shape despite their heavy pizza consumption? (pictured)
... coin collecting does not consist solely of walking into banks with a mask and a gun?
... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head?
- ... and darn it, I always get the Richard Nixon mask!
... that in the dark, all cats are in the dark, too?
... that I am a schizophrenic?
- ... and so am I?
  - ... me too?
    - ... shut up, Frank, you're not even supposed to be here today.
... that Jackson Pollock is the Jackson Pollock of painting?
... the inventor of the Nobel Prize invented the Nobel Prize so he could get a Nobel Prize for his invention of the Nobel Prize?

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On this day

November 21: International Couch Potato Day

1783 - Oprah and Shoobily Boobily ze French Guy had the first untethered hot balls flight.
1847 - The Great Irish Potato Famine reduces the number of couch potatoes in Scotland and Ireland by 25%. Tragically, this results in a global Deep-fried Mars Bar recession.
1877 - Thomas Edison announced his invention of the pornograph.
1963 - Lee Harvey Oswald gets laid for the last time.
1969 - The first AARPNET link was established.
1987 - Morrissey becomes the first person ever to be eaten by a grue and live. Annoyed, the grue eats him again.
1996 - Couch Potato Day is established to encourage nations to collectively sit on their asses watching pointless programs at the same time. Scheduled Programs for this day included 100 Ways to Watch Paint Dry, and 20 Things You Didn't Know About Carpet.
2002 - NATO invites Bulimia, A Stoner, Laffy Taffy, Lithium-Ion, Ramen-Mania, Slave kia and Slaveknee a to become members.
2003 - Megatron destroys the Earth, only for it to be remade by Ultra Jesus.
2004 - I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus distributes Nintendo DS systems to cheering (m)asses in Nude York Shitty.
3503 - God purchases for Earth the expansion pack, Earth, 21st Century Terror. We all love him for that, don't we?

Today's featured picture

Ah, a nice cold Guinness, I-- ...What the??? Damn you, you Krauts!

Image credit: Jocke Pirat

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