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Today's featured article – Alexander IV
Alexander the Great was an act that was hard to follow. His empire stretched from Greece to India and as far south as Egypt. For his only male heir — Alexander IV of Macedonia — it would prove impossible to follow. Hence his sobriquet Alexander the Not So Great.
Alexander IV was a weak echo of his father, like Caesarion the son of Julius Caesar, Napoleon II heir of Napoleon I, and various Kennedys, Bushes, and Clintons of United States politics.
Alexander IV arrived in this world a few months after the death of his father in 323 BC. His mother was the fiery Roxane from Bactria on the Persian frontier, a wild land of two-humped camels and savage inter-tribal wars. Roxane was a warrior princess who was disgusted that her father had her married off to some swarthy, Greek-speaking foreigner. So much did she loathe her spouse that she tried to murder him on their wedding night — at least according to Oliver Stone's film about the Macedonian bleached-blond beach bum. After that bumpy start, the couple managed to avoid killing each other, at least until they produced a male heir. (more...)
Previously featured article – Arthur Currie
General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. (more...)
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DID U KNOE...
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- ... that Elon Musk is a wimp for only going to Mars by 2022 whereas we were already able to visit Saturn in 1939? (pictured)
- ... the Treaty of Ghent includes a clause that neither Americans nor the British are allowed to push in the backs of chocolates to see what's inside, then put them back in the box?
- ... that moisturizer was a failed attempt at making human water-balloons?
- ... water has been found on the surface of Mars?
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter"?
- ... that this page will self-destruct in 5 seconds?
- ... the Ronco Pocket Fisherman lets you go fishing anytime in your jacket pocket?
- ... and it can also be used to play pocket pool?
- ... but wait, there's more...
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In the news
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ON DIS DAI...
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 Yoo'd thinke rockit siontists wud nowe howe two spel... Agest 23: Mizspeeeling Dá
- 0 AD/BC - Eye thinck evreethin izz speltt write heer.
- 1337 - Mispeelerz ariv in Inglend frum Russya.
- 1691 - Emhliz iz inbentred.
- 1914 - A HoOL BUCHN UF n00bers IZ KIL3D At T3H WWW!1!
- 1700 - Mispeeelrz arriv n tha Untied Stapez frum Inglend.
- 1844 - Dew two hiss frustration with Otto Correct, Sam U.L. Morse invents Mort's Code.
- 1866 - Prusha defeeded Ostreea in the Ostro-Prushun Woar, and dizolvd the Jermun Confedurashun.
- 1939 - Hitler and Stalin agree to be Non-Aggressive to each other for two years.
- 1961 - AOL iz inbentred.
- 1973 - Fcuk cpatalizes on avnat grad mispsellrs.
- 1993 - Peter Cook adbucted and kiled by spase otters.
- 1994 - Selpl Chk is invented.
- 1999 - Nustradumas's pradected yeer of tha ind uv tha wurld uv mispelllerz.
- 2006 - World famus threadboard /b/ got AYDs.
- 2026 - ZOMG!! Wurld Supliz ov Dikchunarees Ar deztroid, rezerektin misspllin!!elevn.
- End of time - weezall gon a dye!
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| COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
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For the glory of her majesty
HALP US CLEAR TEH IVY OV CRAP,
AN PLANT TEH SEEDZ OV HUMOR.
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WRITR AN N00B OV TEH MONTH
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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