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Today's featured article Nobody cares is a policy employed by dictators, despots, democracy, the general public, and wiki administration. The school of thought began when somebody wanted something and nobody cared. This is thought to have occurred sometime between Ancient Mesopotamia and the Fall of Rome, so we'll say Ancient Greece. Nobody cares enough to find out for sure. Somebody probably started it, with authority probably, so let's say Zeus. He was the ultimate god and ruled over the people or something and then the people weren't happy. Zeus decided that nobody cared and screwed a goat. Then there was Rome and the Romans didn't like Christians. The Christians wanted to live, but nobody cared so they made them fight lions to the death. Then Rome fell and the people needed a stable existence, but nobody cared and the Dark Ages were born. Read more... Recently featured: Nike Revolution of 2006 - Alternative Medicine - The artist formerly known as God - I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle - The Night After Christmas - North Korea - John Seigenthaler Sr. You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries December 21: Personal Hygiene Day 678 BCE - Sodomy discovered in Greece. 677 BCE - Death penalty instituted in Greece. 477 BCE - Stinky Greek hobo Socrates roams the streets of fudge-packing Athens, claiming he knows nothing. As a result, the goofy Greeks regard him as the greatest sage that ever lived. 322 BCE - Megalomaniac Alexander the Great outs himself. In a letter to Aristotle, he confesses that the smell of male toil "turns him on". 1500 - The Middle Ages officially end; Europeans can finally start taking care of their personal hygiene little by little. 1939 - Hitler invades France. After realizing he would never make them wash he turned toward Russia. 1967 - The interrobang is discovered. The horrible revelation drives its discoverer instantly insane. 1979 - Star Wars Episode XXXIV: The Rising of Darth Leia is released. George Lucas blames dirty, smelly theaters for the low turnout. 1982 - Sudan wins "Least Hygienic Country In The World Competition" for the first time. The African country has held the title ever since. 1984 - The first horseman of the apocalypse descends to herald the coming tribulations, but no one notices apart from Noel Fielding, a homeless alcoholic from Brighton, England. 2004 - Barry Scott surpasses Batman as the Queen of Clean with Clitoris Bang. 2005 - The Bermuda Triangle mysteriously disappears. 2006 - Personal hygiene is forced upon France by new EU ruling. The French promptly withdraw from the EU. All traces of the bathtub are destroyed and the French quickly return to smelling of bad cheese and garlic. Archived Anniversaries	Today's word of the day is retro Try to use it in your conversations. Knowledge is power.
	edit In the news Elon Musk prepares for world government (pictured) I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear Pope Francis revealed to be chat-bot‎ Sunak soaked for General Election announcement Ferrell sues owner of look-alike dog Alfa Romeos to get even uglier Ukraine minister charged with corruption More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... Samuel L. Jackson or Scarlett Johansson have appeared in every minor and major Hollywood movie since 2017? Do you care... ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A? Read More
edit Recent articles Norse Korea (pictured) | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism | UnTunes:I'm Just Ten | Taylor Swift | Praey for the gods‎‎ | Henry Kissinger More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...
Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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