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Today's featured article Nobody cares is a policy employed by dictators, despots, democracy, the general public, and wiki administration. The school of thought began when somebody wanted something and nobody cared. This is thought to have occurred sometime between Ancient Mesopotamia and the Fall of Rome, so we'll say Ancient Greece. Nobody cares enough to find out for sure. Somebody probably started it, with authority probably, so let's say Zeus. He was the ultimate god and ruled over the people or something and then the people weren't happy. Zeus decided that nobody cared and screwed a goat. Then there was Rome and the Romans didn't like Christians. The Christians wanted to live, but nobody cared so they made them fight lions to the death. Then Rome fell and the people needed a stable existence, but nobody cared and the Dark Ages were born. Read more... Recently featured: Nike Revolution of 2006 - Alternative Medicine - The artist formerly known as God - I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle - The Night After Christmas - North Korea - John Seigenthaler Sr. You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries June 7: Bus Stop Day 6001 BCE - Blueprints for a square wheel are rejected in favor of the triangular wheel. 6000 BCE - The circular wheel is invented. 5000 BCE - The wheel is reinvented. The saying "no need to reinvent the wheel" is coined. 215 BCE - Archimedes is arrested for indecent exposure. 8 CE - Portuguese scientists invent the first water-powered toaster. 1221 - Heinrich the magical unicorn becomes the first president of the North Pole. 1345 - Man invents the bus stop several hundred years before inventing the bus. 1555 - The bus is invented in Horsham, West Sussex. 1776 - The Carebear Cousins are born in an strange incident involving vinegar, a busted condom, and Bill Gates' mother. Care-a-Lot will never be the same. 1777 - The first water powered bus is brought into service in New Atlantis. 1783 - The Montgolfier Brothers have a really good wash. It was indeed an impressive sight. 1905 - Norway files for divorce from Sweden after 91 years of marriage. Bus custody is split equitably with visitation rights granted. 1973 - Tony Jaa waits for a bus to the Coliseum so he can fight Bruce Lee. 2001 - Mary Poppins is brutally murdered outside Aldgate East tube station. 2010 - Mick Jagger finally gets satisfaction. His arrest at the back of a bus while doing so is later plea bargained down to a misdemeanor. 2017 - Self-driving buses start service and pass up people waiting at bus stops, just like in the days with drivers. Archived Anniversaries	Today's word of the day is retro Try to use it in your conversations. Knowledge is power.
	edit In the news Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane (pictured) Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... ask a silly question and you end up on Uncyclopedia? Do you care... ... the person that was sitting next to you and jerking off during fire scenes in Only the Brave just might have been a pyromaniac? Read More
edit Recent articles People's Action Party (Singapore) (pictured) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...
Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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