Babel:2006

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Nobody cares is a policy employed by dictators, despots, democracy, the general public, and wiki administration.

The school of thought began when somebody wanted something and nobody cared. This is thought to have occurred sometime between Ancient Mesopotamia and the Fall of Rome, so we'll say Ancient Greece. Nobody cares enough to find out for sure.

Somebody probably started it, with authority probably, so let's say Zeus. He was the ultimate god and ruled over the people or something and then the people weren't happy. Zeus decided that nobody cared and screwed a goat.

Then there was Rome and the Romans didn't like Christians. The Christians wanted to live, but nobody cared so they made them fight lions to the death.

Then Rome fell and the people needed a stable existence, but nobody cared and the Dark Ages were born.

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  • 1560 BCE - Moses forgets to take his schizophrenia pills and begins to hear voices. He takes off from Ur, resulting in all of modern humanity's problems.
  • 1178 BCE - Odysseus, legendary King of Ithaca, returns to his kingdom after the Trojan War. Cornellians giggle uncontrollably.
  • 1855 - Abraham and Mary Todd Lincoln enjoy a night of mad passionate love; sloppy seconds are had after Mr. Lincoln keeps his promise that the "South Shall Rise Again!"
  • 1867 - Queen Victoria considers ending her mourning phase, but continues on: "Why spoil a good time?"
  • 1878 - Joseph Stalin is born, immediately sending his parents to a gulag for birthing a monster.
  • 1889 - Future German dictator, Charles Spencer Chaplin, is born.
  • 1927 - It is a good day to be born if you are the leader of a world religion with the maddest gaze in human history.
  • 1934 - Eleanor Roosevelt uncharacteristically enjoys a hotdog.
  • 1943 - The first "Annual Miss Stalin-Look-Alike" contest is held in the Soviet Union. (pictured) Joseph Stalin wins unanimously.
  • 1953 - Desi Arnaz slaps Lucille Ball, calling her an 'estupit beach' on national television.
  • 2006 - The Queen of England decrees that all Australians must wear cork underpants.
  • 2007 - Donald Trump pardons the 2007 "Annual Miss Stalin-Look-Alike" contest winner for her objectionable behavior after an "all-night session" behind closed doors.

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Did you know...

  • ... the film Casablanca takes 102 minutes to tell the story of a guy who gets his ex and her husband to the airport?

Do you care...

  • ... the Earth is indeed hollow, but you might fall off the edge trying to find the entrance?


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Writer and Noob of the Month

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


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Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


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It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


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