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Today's featured article – Windows XP
Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.
 If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.) Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)
Previously featured article – Switzerland
Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)
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DID Y0U KN0W...
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- ... that James Comey is the son of Robert Stack? (pictured)
- ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
- ... that you can't wear my sweatshirt? It's mine!
- ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?
- ... that Wright-Patterson Air Force Base is home to a heavily guarded repository of bad puns?
- ... there is no truth to the rumour that Candlejack kidnaps people who sa
- ... if you open your refrigerator door you will make a chilling discovery?
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IN 7H3 N3W5
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0N 7HI5 D4Y...
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January 24: Plain Text Day
0 - The first plain text message was decoded.41 - Caligula killed for textstalking people on his Boost Mobile.833 - Monks produce beautiful illuminated manuscripts in painstaking detail. (pictured)1337 - Not celebrated this year because everything was done in Leet text.1338 - =|> ASCII art kills itself <|= 1563 - John Pepys records his shorthand diary.1838 - Samuel Morse demonstrates the first plain text telegraph browser.1878 - The first typewriter is invented, powered by Intel Core i16, having 160 GB of RAM and 600 TB SSD storage.1879 - The WWW is invented for the said typewriter.1880 - World of Warcraft, a text based MMORPG becomes the most played online game on the typewriter.1838 - Courier New pwns Times Roman.1995 - The OJ Simpson jury delivers a verdict in plain text.2006 - Snakes on a Plain Text Day.2007 - I fucking hate plain bagels!2008 - Slavo-Indo-Chinese Buddhist mujahadeen take over the entire Eastern Hemisphere and wage continental wars against the peoples of Antarctica.2012 - The final half of the Bible is proven to be written in plain text. It clearly shows, through the application of logic, that God was in fact a three-headed football.
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WRI73R 4ND N00B 0F 7H3 M0N7H
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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- ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
