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St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.
Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.
St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)
Previously featured article – Minotaur
The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)
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DID Y0U KN0W...
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- ... that the metal vibranium is durable and resilient due to its soft and spongy molecular bonds? (pictured)
- ... the muffin man?
- ... the world has nearly run out helium for airships and toy balloons?
- ... but dog farts will provide enough gas to last thousands of years?
- ... a stitch in time doesn't save nine, but saves nuns from being sucked into time portals or wormholes?
- ... That over 100 Martians have been run over by the rover Curiosity?
- ... and that it was all covered up by CGI directed by the clone of Stanley Kubrick?
- ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ... that you need to stop reading this page and get a job?
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December 7: Official Who the Hell Is Spartacus Day
- Little did they know that I'm Spartacus.
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- 72 BCE - People stop naming their children Spartacus as they don't want them hanging around the sides of roads.
- 878 - The magnifying glass is perfected. Thousands of ants would die before anything really useful would be done with it.
- 1209 - The Albigensian Crusade begins as Pope Innocent III tries to find both Spartacus and some ready cash and property.
- 1500 - The search for Spartacus continues. Columbus is imprisoned for failing to find him.
- 1936 - Buddy Holly is born in Texas; this is also known as "The Day That Will Live in Infancy".
- 1982 - Mr T (not pictured) claims in his autobiography Pity the Fool that he was Spartacus. Historians refute this claim.
- 1987 - "Where's Wally?" (in North America, "Where's Waldo?") turns out to be a thinly disguised attempt to find Spartacus. Carmen Sandiego comes under suspicion as well.
- 1995 - The band Sparklehorse is founded by the long-lost descendant of Spartacus.
- 2005 - Uncyclopedia becomes littered with Spartacus jokes written by Oscar Wilde and Chuck Norris.
- 2017 - US President Donald Trump imprisons all Jews in order to make them reveal the location of Spartacus, with predictable results as he never watched the movie.
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[vote]
| Pontius pilot.JPG - 24.5 programs not at fault ( 35.5 / 11 )
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The Pontius Pilot is infamous for some functionality issues. One typical complaint is that the Microsoft Crucifixion program often crucified incorrect and important data, such as the Messiah. Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear two days later after descending to the Recycle Bin, not three as some mathematically illiterate biblical scholars would tell you.
Image credit: Savethemooses
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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