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Today's featured article – Windows XP
Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.
 If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.) Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)
Previously featured article – Switzerland
Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)
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DID Y0U KN0W...
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- ... that Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name? (pictured)
- ... Edward Scissorhands was never capable of running with scissors, much less a scissor?
- ... that The Manchurian Candidate is about a blustering hotelier that is brainwashed by a foreign government to do its bidding when he becomes president? Oh, wait...
- ... Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
- ... Nazi war criminal Klaus Barbie tried to change his name to Klaus Barbie Doll while hiding out in Peru?
- ... that explorer Robert Peary, first to reach the North Pole except for seals and whales, also was first to reach the West Pole that no one knew existed?
- ... Uncyclopedia prefer to use cats instead of dogs for data retrieval for references?
- ... and this explains why most of its articles don't have references?
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IN 7H3 N3W5
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0N 7HI5 D4Y...
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February 12: World Write in Graeco-Latin Day (Graeco-Rome)
- 544 BCE - Greek becomes the language of commerce and government in the eastern Mediterranean areas, Latin in the west. Most people in both areas would continue to curse and scream in their native languages. Confused fish in the Aegean Sea would just wing it.
- 310 BCE - Ouidis cognis qui, ma Helle-Romanis di est non iubil.
- 311 BCE - Id qua.
- 299 BCE - Graeco-Latin Squares first appears as a game show in the Mediterranean area, with pairs of famous Greeks and Romans in each square, with contestants attempting to determine if answers given to questions are true or not. Leonhard Euler would later figure out the optimum strategy, spoiling it all.
- 83 BCE - Greeks train a huge army of vicious anteaters to attack Carthage, marching them into the sea to secretly attack the port and shipping. Results are mixed as thousands of dead anteaters block the harbor entrance though survivors sweep Carthage clean of ants.
- 3+3=3 - Rutty, toot, toot, toot'n Graeco-Labrador fiesta!
- 415 - The polymath Hypatia of Alexandria is killed by a mob for asking, "Didn't we just celebrate this holiday yesterday?"
- 444 - "Yo' momma." – Attila the Hun.
- 888 - With no one left, the barbarians invade Rome for the sake of it.
- 1346 - The trireme is abandoned in favor of sailing ships after the song Row, row, row your boat makes its unwanted appearance.
- 1809 - The holy profit of evolutionism, Charles Darwin is born.
- 1898 - Graeco-Roman wrestling is introduced into the Olympics, moved from sofas in darkened parlors and back seats of carriages.
- 2001 - In honor of the invention of Greek fire, Canadians invent Arcade Fire.
- 2012 - Etruscans return from outer space to place flaming bags of poo on archaeologists' doorsteps.
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70D4Y'5 F347UR3D PIC7UR3
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[vote]
| Errors.png - 37.5 total votes ( 49.5 / 12 )
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Windows XP is a reliable computer program, as shown here.
Image credit: Guest
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WRI73R 4ND N00B 0F 7H3 M0N7H
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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- ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
