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Today's featured article – Arthur Currie General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name. Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...) Recently featured: Star Trek Windows XP Switzerland Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Star Trek Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...) DID Y0U KN0W... ... that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (pictured) ... that Forrest Fenn buried treasure worth over $1 million in the Rocky Mountains? ... and it was found by billionaire Paul Allen who used it to buy socks and nose hair clippers? ... that wearing a top hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy? ... a woman with three mustaches is better than a cat with an ironing board? ... that you need to stop reading this page and get a job? ... that Arceus is the true Lord and Saviour and not that fake Felix Hossil or whatever he's called? ... that Mexican General Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón knew at least three people whose names began with the letter "L"?

IN 7H3 N3W5 Hegseth orders attack on the Moon (pictured) Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos 0N 7HI5 D4Y... April 9: Stereotype Dismissal Day (France), Croissant & Beret Day (France) 250 million BCE - Caveman get mad at funny people laugh at caveman. Caveman hit funny people shiny metal flying thing with club. Caveman go away in bright green flash. Funny people all die from eat poison ivy. Tourism go to shit. 801 - Emperor Charlemagne decrees that his people must wear stripey shirts and berets while riding a bicycle and carrying a baguette. Rioting ensues in Paris until a compromise is reached where a croissant would be carried while muttering insults about the English. 1812 - Pretentiousness makes its first appearance in Victorian England. 1832 - Captain Petey Widdershanks Blunderbub Shaleweather Monkeyturtle Johansen III obtains his first ship, and immediately sets sail in search of wenches and grog. 1865 - Confederate General Robert E. Lee surrenders himself to Union General Ulysses S. Grant. The two later wed in Vermont. 1877 - Oscar Wilde pens his play Salome: A Tragedy in One Act which describes his personal experience spilling milk on his favorite sweater. 1905 - The famous bacon and cheese sandwich is envisioned; its planning takes several months. 1940 - Germany invades Norway and Denmark. Sweden feels left out. 1967 - Status Quo plays their first show, at the University of London. Diptheria is involved. 2005 - Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles wed, thus squashing rumors that Parker Bowles is a man. Rumors about Prince Charles still abound. 2009 - You are reading this anniversaries entry, about to move on to the next one.

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[vote] CheckpointCharlieSign.png CheckpointCharlieSign.png - 5 fugitive(s) ( 5 / 0 ) Checkpoint Charlie was the only Berlin Wall crossing point where the authorities used humour as a weapon against those who tried to cross it. Image credit: ScottPat

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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