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Today's featured article – John Mahama
John Dramani Mahama (born 29 November 1958) is the 12th and 14th President of Ghana, his current term having begun on 7 January 2025. Ghanaian voters were inspired by Donald Trump being both the 45th and 47th U.S. President and anxious to prove that Ghana could do it too. They were also ready for another go, having had four years to recover from Mahama's first Presidency.
Mahama was the candidate of the National Democratic Congress (NDC). His rise to office sets a variety of records: First President to be younger than the nation, first to be President in non-consecutive terms, and first to excel in hitting empty beer cans with stones from twenty paces (7 m). He has been an MP, pan-African MP, Deputy Minister, Minister, Vice President, and President, a feat known in Ghanaian political circles as "Bingo!"
Mahama started his first term upon the death of his predecessor, John Atta Mills, on 24 July 2012. The so-called Atta-boy gave a stirring speech to accept his new responsibilities. He stated, "This is the saddest day in our nation's history. Tears have engulfed our nation. (more...)
Welcome. This is a print-out-and-keep guide if you fancy a career change. There is also available a translation in Latin. Now pray and read the rest of this guide. We are talking about you can Become a Pope. (more...)
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- ... penal transportation, or exile of criminals, is the reason that thieving kangaroos are only found in Australia today? (pictured)
- ... that Yashasvi Jaiswal sold panipuri whilst living in a tent before he became the youngest List A double centurion in both cricket and snack food sales?
- ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
- ... a Missouri woman lived for years on ketchup packets? They can be made into excellent flooring if you are careful.
- ... that Wright-Patterson Air Force Base is home to a heavily guarded repository of bad puns?
- ... my name is Iñigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to do something or the other?
- ... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
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May 6: No Pants Day (observed)
- 39 CE - Roman Emperor Caligula decrees No Pants Day with no one to wear pants under penalty of death. Only his horse Artax is allowed an exemption.
- 1186 - The art of making pants is lost in the West. Thousands die even on days that are just moderately breezy.
- 1527 - Spanish and German troops sack Rome, ending the Renaissance and the Era of Poofy Pants in one stroke.
- 1536 - King Henry VIII orders English language Bibles to be placed in every church, along with wooden crucifixes and stores of holy water, in efforts to stave off vampire invasions.
- 1866 - Oscar Wilde's short story A House of Pomegranates makes the first use of pie charts in known literature.
- 1882 - The United States Congress passes the Chinese Exclusion Act, followed shortly by the Colored Folk Rights Denial Bill.
- 1911 - Pharmacists invent eye bleach just in time for this year's No Pants Day.
- 1935 - Lawrence of Arabia endeavors to jump his motorcycle over the duck pond at Buckingham Palace. He is killed in the attempt due to an accident with a scarf dropped by Isadora Duncan.
- 1954 - Roger Bannister becomes the first human to run the mile in less than four minutes and also passes the subsequent tests for drug use and being a robot.
- 2007 - Queen Elizabeth stands in line with the great unwashed to place a bet on a bobtail nag running in the Kentuckistan Derby.
- 2010 - The general election is held in the UK. Everyone loses.
- 2012 - American Seymour Butts becomes the first man to cross the Atlantic in a badonkadonk.
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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