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Today's featured article – Windows XP Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters. It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support. If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.) Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...) Recently featured: Switzerland St. Pierre and Miquelon Minotaur Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Switzerland Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...) DID Y0U KN0W... ... that there's nothing to see here? (pictured) ... thanks to a transporter accident, the joke about suicide bombers' 72 virgins being Star Trek geeks is older than Islam? ... that Tyrannosaurus Rex went extinct because it couldn't reach anything put on a top shelf? ... a Missouri woman lived for years on ketchup packets? They can be made into excellent flooring if you are careful. ... that, now that I really think about it, I'm not sure what the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle is? ... about this? ... when the going gets tough, the tough get going? ... and since it's 5PM, I'll be headed for home?

IN 7H3 N3W5 Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia (pictured) Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration 0N 7HI5 D4Y... February 6: Nihilism Day 4480 BCE - Egypt floods for the 10th time in half as many years causing great destruction. Nihilistic Egyptians do nothing, leaving them in denial. 664 BCE - Greek members of the schools of nihilism, skepticism and cynicism are in a violent argument when a earthquake strikes, killing them all. Seeing this, visiting scholars from Germany then create the School of Schadenfreude on the spot, whether they intended to or not. 579 - "Yowzah!" would become the popular thing to say throughout the Middle Ages. It would become lost to history until 1922, when it became popular again for about four days. 963 - The chirping of early migrating birds irritate nihilists across the world, who do nothing about it. 1685 - Charles II of England, like many rich men of his time, chokes on his neck-high stockings and dies of subsequent kidney dysfunction. His death is partially attributed to the fact that instead of calling a doctor, he called to God and possibly ascended to Heaven prematurely. 1721 - Bishop Berkeley asks the question: 'If a nihilist falls in the forest and there is no one to hear him, does he make a sound?' 1756 - In a remote part of the world, a genius is born. In his head are mathematical formulas and the formation of theories so dense that he, being an infant unable to express himself, bursts into tears. Yet no one bothers with the prodigy, assuming that he is another blood thirsty infant who should be neither seen nor heard. Thus the genius can only sit innocently, waiting for someone to acknowledge him. 1868 - Russian nihilists are rounded up and sent to Siberia, but nobody cares. Who's the nihilist now, eh? 1937 - The First Worldwide Congress of Existential Nihilism is held in Vienna, Austria. Of course nobody shows up – what did you think? 2018 - This last Uncyclopedia anniversary entry remains unfinished because the editor is overcome by sloth, not nihilism, not that he even knows the differe

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[vote] GalleryofWTF.png GalleryofWTF.png - 5 quid for entrance ( 5 / 0 ) The 21st century realist art left many masterpieces. The Gallery of World's Tableaux of Fame hosts many artworks from different parts of the world. Image credit: 90s Kid21

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're doing much better now; we simply can't be bothered.

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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

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